


Learning

by PeetasAndHerondales



Category: Hunger Games (2012), Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Post-Mockingjay, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-08
Updated: 2013-08-27
Packaged: 2017-11-28 14:31:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 39
Words: 89,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/675447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeetasAndHerondales/pseuds/PeetasAndHerondales
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How does Katniss discover something more carnal than love? Future scenes with explicit content.  Pre-Epilogue. TRANSLATED FROM SPANISH TO ENGLISH. The original author is Sweet.dreams.86 on FF.net</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Aprendiendo](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/17123) by Sweet.dreams.86. 



> Translator's Note:Hey guys, this is PeetasAndHerondales (Cathy), and I would just like to clarify that this fanfiction is NOT mine; it is merely translated from the original one in Spanish by the extremely talented Sweet.dreams.86, who has given me full support and permission to re-write it in English. I hope that I do her work justice.
> 
> ~Enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games.

" _You could live a hundred lifetimes and not deserve him, you know."_

" _NO!"_

I opened my eyes just in that moment, startled, my breathing accelerated, noting how little drops of cold sweat rolled down my forehead and neck. I focused my eyes towards the alarm clock: seven in the morning. My gaze scanned the bedroom, directing it towards the window and resting it over the branches of the tree in the garden. A small chill went through me when I saw the small bird, its soft and bright black feathers stirred; it lifted a wing to comb its flank with care, and I could see the unpolluted white beneath it. I shuddered again; I couldn't avoid being affected over the simple act of seeing that tiny bird. Everything was different now…everything had changed, everything was… better? For whom? Surely not for me….

"Sssshhhh…" I heard the murmur in my ear. Another shiver went through my body, but this one was different – "Another nightmare?"

I shook my head gently; I would be lying if I had said yes, even if I was tempted to do so, if only for the heartwarming sensation of being nestled (even more) in between his strong, warm arms.

"It was just a strange dream…" I stroked the hand that he had placed over my waist. A hand that was soft yet big and strong, perfect for banishing nightmares.

I couldn't help looking again through the window; the bird was still there preening itself. I silently cursed the carbon-feathered mockingjay, and it flew off as if it had heard me. For a second I thought it would come into the bedroom, which caused me to stir again in shock, and, without meaning to, I became even closer to my bed companion.

"Hey…Katniss….what...?"

"Nothing…h-hold me…" I managed to murmur stuttering. I could hear his preoccupied sigh perfectly, but I didn't say anything, I just let him hold me in the same position in which we were, with him accommodated against my body from behind, perfectly embedded like two puzzle pieces. I closed my eyes again and allowed the gentle rhythm of his breathing against my ear to relax me.

It had been months since the war had ended, there was no other way to call the rebellion in which I had been forced to participate, the one in which they had turned me into their symbol without meaning to, the tragic lover, the survivor, the girl who had defied the Capitol and its farce….a necessary war with unnecessary deaths.

I closed my eyes tightly, I should…no, I  _had_  to eliminate those thoughts, it didn't do me any good to think of small Rue, or brave Finnick, or in…or in who it hurt me the most to think of, my sweet sister Prim.

Before, on occasions such as this, when a simple bird made me remember, I would let myself drown in pain, I would let the sorrow invade me and I would stop being me. I would stop eating and spend days thrown in bed, wrapped in between the sheets, and I would even neglect my own hygiene. I would blame and torture myself; I wanted to let myself die. Even after he came back, after I came back to "life," and after I came back to becoming aware of my own existence, I still had those episodes every now and then. At first he would go away, he would leave me alone until I recuperated my sanity.

But little by little his fears and my own began to disappear, or at least became controllable; he was no longer afraid to hurt me, and I had stopped hiding. That was how, during one of my numerous relapses, him, my boy with the bread, had begun to occupy the other side of my enormous bed. And that was how, slowly but surely, my pain had stopped being so intense, just like the nightmares that had faded away until they had almost dissolved, finding myself safe and surrounded by those strong arms, which gave me peace and security, just like before. How I wished it would last forever. And something deep inside me told me that he had returned and wished to share my sheets just as much as me.

I discarded those thoughts and proposed myself to enjoy the feeling of plenitude that Peeta gave me as he lay by my side as much as I could. I looked at the vase on the nightstand, the primroses inside it had started to shrivel up, but they contributed a sweet scent to the air, which was contrary to what I was usually thinking; they brought me nice memories, the memory of the first time that Peeta came back to the district, nearly completely recovered.

I lowered my gaze and smiled slightly to myself. Peeta's hand was posed over my belly, which was uncovered at the moment due to the wide summer shirt I had on. His fingers traced hundreds of shapes over my bellybutton, and a few below it, providing me with thousands of pleasurable caresses. I was sure that if I had the capacity to purr, I would be eliciting that soft feline murmur right then and there.

"Hmmm…. I'm beginning to understand Buttercup more and more each day," I said as he simply chuckled softly without ceasing his movements.

I couldn't pinpoint exactly when it was that we began with the soft strokes. In between nightmares, I had begun to play with his short curls, entangling my fingers in between his golden locks until they passed on to his neck and chest. His great chest…soft…muscular…cozy. I had a thousand and one adjectives just to describe his chest. I bit my lip and closed my eyes again for a second, I was rambling again. I wasn't the type to ramble over the anatomy of men. This had definitely changed, I was weaker now, something that I deeply hated, but I knew that Peeta adored it, he had told me so once, which had stopped me from complaining but had not stopped me from continuing to seek my strength. Perhaps I could combine the two things: his strength and his caresses.

The point was that in our relationship, the soft touches had turned habitual without us even noticing, and that it was something that would have made me blush before but I now thoroughly enjoyed without the slightest hint of a blush, for Peeta had become somewhat obsessed with my stomach. At first, his touches had directed themselves at my hair and arms, but one day they changed zone and nearly all of his attention had focused on that part of my anatomy. To be honest, I didn't understand him very much. My abdomen wasn't much different from the rest of my body, perhaps it was the color (since that part was clearer) or its feel (since it was softer), but whatever the case, Peeta liked that part, and I enjoyed his soft contact.

I settled myself on the bed a little better with my eyes closed again, and it was then that I noticed something hard against the end of my back. I became aware that whatever it was, that uncomfortable thing had been nailed against my body for several minutes now. I had been so lost in enjoying the sensations that Peeta was giving me that I hadn't noticed the subtle discomfort that such thing was causing me.

I traced Peeta's hand for a few seconds and then reached my hand behind me so that I could move whatever it was that was interposed between my comfort and Peeta's.

I managed to brush the pants of my companion for a mere microsecond; long enough to feel the obvious bulge that was beneath them. One moment, we had been laying there relaxed, fondling each other, and the next thing I knew, Peeta had parted from me and gotten up, leaving me astonished and trying to assimilate what had just happened without understanding anything at all.

"I'm going to take a shower, Katniss," he murmured as he tightened his fists, standing up and leaving the room without even looking at me and running as if he had just been chased by the devil.

I sat down on the bed, hugging my own knees, reviewing what had just happened one minute ago. The only things that passed through my mind were the dream, the mockingjay, the hug and the touches, nothing else, the same things as always, nothing unusual. Unless… he had been having another one of his attacks… I had been counting on the thought that he had controlled them, for they had been becoming weaker and farther apart with time, his "real or not real" questions had turned scarce, something that, in part, relieved me; I needed Peeta to be sure of himself. I kept trying to remember what had happened in the last two minutes. Nothing… there was nothing that I had done that would cause his body to react with the attack of one of his false memories.

Nothing….except…that uncomfortable thing stabbing me, my hand going back to touch something in his pants….wait a minute, HIS PANTS. My mouth fell open in an almost ridiculous manner, I was sure that my eyes were about to jump right out of their sockets. What I had touched was his…his…his….I couldn't even think that word. I obviously knew that romantic contact had its consequences, they hadn't exactly clarified it at school, but…where was the romantic contact in this situation? I knew that my feelings could unchain something more….carnal, but Peeta and I were over that, no? Even if I felt the fire inside me with some of the kisses…I could imagine where that fire inside Peeta was right now. And that thought led my cheeks to redden, and I could feel them hot and throbbing.

I rubbed my temples; I couldn't think clearly….I had grazed his intimacy with my fingers, his member, and not just that, but his member had been….in state of excitement, hard. I felt strange….thinking coldly, it shouldn't bother me so much, and it was something that happened normally with couples, no? And Peeta and I…what were Peeta and I? We slept together, we kissed, and we touched. But neither I nor he had put a label on it. Boyfriend and girlfriend? I moaned pitifully, I needed Peeta as much as I needed breathing. The days in which I opened my eyes and he wasn't in bed made me feel a knot in my stomach, although I knew perfectly well that he was downstairs, in the kitchen, baking some delicious buns. There were also those moments which I passed without him by my side. The oppression in my chest made me go look for him, or run back home…damn it, was that love? My goofy smile as I watched him knead….my agitated breathing against his lips, that tickling beneath my abdomen when I remembered his kisses…ugh, well love was stupid, it made me act irrational, and I didn't like that. But I supposed that Peeta's arms and kisses were worth it.

I jumped out of bed and dressed in my old hunting clothes, I adored my boots and my father's jacket, and I went downstairs, where I could still hear the shower water running. I stepped out of the house and ran around Victor's Village until I arrived to what used to be the old Seam. The new houses were coming out from beneath the debris, better constructed and much bigger than before. I crossed the fence and found refuge in the forest.


	2. Chapter 2

The things this stupid situation made me think of were truly unbelievable. I, Katniss Everdeen had excited Peeta Mellark, the boy with the bread. It had been him who had been touching me!

I sighed and sat down on a rock, swinging off my backpack and looking through its contents. If memory served well, I should have a bun tucked in there; I had slipped it in the last time I had gone out hunting, and since I'd been so busy, I had ended up not eating it that day. In fact, there it was: the size of a fist, white and soft. I picked it up and the smell made my stomach growl even louder.

Damn it, I should have had breakfast. And all because of the boy with the bread who had made that perfect bun. His reaction had frightened me and made me feel guilty, although I was sure that I hadn't done anything; it had been his fault! He was the one who had settled against me that way, that one who had been digging "that" on my back; it wasn't my fault that it had bothered me, and it wasn't my fault that I had touched him. I had touched his…his penis.

I had to dig through my memory to find the sexual education classes that they had given us at school and remember the name of that part of his body. At my house, any "sexual" topic had been completely out of bounds. And even if it hadn't been, the null relationship that I had with my mother would never have given me the opportunity to bring it up. In class, they had also explained to us what the female period was, the purpose of sexual intercourse, and they had even talked to us about birth control methods. I recalled feeling particular disgust on the part about intercourse, and even more when they explained that this could cause a woman to become pregnant. Children who would be more mouths to feed, children who would be participating in the Reaping once they turned twelve, children who would go to the Hunger Games, children who would suffer, die….it had been in that moment in which I had decided that I would never have children, that I would never have sexual intercourse, and that birth control methods were too expensive for people from the Seam; eating was much more important.

But had I changed my mind? Had Peeta changed me in regarding the subject…of….intercourse? I blushed again at the thought of that intimate moment with him. I, the girl who had given her first kisses to act in front of the entire country, was now blushing just thinking about intimate moments. It was amusing, to say the least.

I tried to stop thinking about everything and took a bite out of the bun. Great, now it was hard and dry, and it longer contained any of that softness that characterized Peeta's bread, but…I had eaten worse things, much worse things, I was anything but picky. I finished eating the bun a few minutes later and stood up, stretching my limbs all the way up to my tips, filling my lungs with air that was distinguished by the smell of wet grass and pine, a fresh smell that brought me so many bittersweet memories.

I walked hurriedly between the trees at the edge of the forest until I found a hollow trunk, sticking my hand to retrieve my bow and the quiver with arrows. It was somewhat stupid to stash my weapons there now, since there were no longer any impediments for keeping weapons at home in the new Panem now, but what I could I say, I was an animal of routine.

I hung both utensils on my shoulder and I delved deeper into the forest, in search of an unaware animal. About half an hour later, I heard the murmurs and squeaks of a squirrel above me. I directed my vision towards the sound, and sure enough, there it was, a big fat squirrel nibbling on what appeared to be a nut. Times were better even for the squirrels; I had never hunted squirrels that were as plump as the ones I was getting now, and even their numbers had increased considerably. I took out my bow and arrow, tensing the string and pointing while I contained my breathing as the squirrel fell at my feet. I stared at it for a few seconds; at least I could assure that my ability as a huntress had not diminished. I carefully picked up the squirrel while avoiding staining my hands with the viscous red liquid that flowed from its eye (just where the arrow had inserted). I then went back through the same path, returned my bow and quiver to its tree, and headed back home; I didn't need to hunt anymore, one squirrel would be enough for dinner; I no longer had to survive based on selling what I hunted.

When I got home, a delicious scent surrounded me. Peeta was baking, and from the smell of it, it wasn't just bread.

I left my prey at the entrance and entered the kitchen. Peeta was kneading on top of the table, his hands and part of his arms were covered in flour, his face was red and his brow was furrowed from the effort, his muscles tensed and relaxed at the same time that the dough was laid flat. I smiled placidly as I looked at him, his shirt had bits of flour in it too, and it was a bit small on him; Peeta had regained some muscle over the past few months, which caused his shirts to be too tight now. Especially this one, since it marked his pectorals and the part over his bellybutton, which was completely smooth and strong. I couldn't avoid it when my gaze lowered down a bit more to that part of his anatomy that I had touched just a few hours ago. There was no longer any sign of hardness, but even then it was still perceptible. I remembered the feel of it over his pajama pants, and I bit the inside of my cheek. "Damn it, Katniss," I scolded myself. How could I possibly think of such things?

"Hi…" I said softly as I leaned on the doorframe.

"Katniss…I didn't hear you arrive," Peeta blushed a little more; one didn't need to be very smart to figure out why.

"It smells great….cupcakes?" I figured it was best not to bring up the rough subject.

"With chocolate…" my eyes illuminated and a gasp of satisfaction escaped my lips; ever since I had tried that delicious product at the train that was heading towards the Capitol, I could call myself an addict.

"Will they take long to be ready?"

"Just another half hour."

"I don't know if I can wait," I groaned.

"I'll just have to entertain you."

He came closer to me and placed his lips over mine; it was incredible how sweet he could be, and I returned the kiss, but unlike him, I took it one step further and parted my lips and ran my tongue over the outline of his, inviting him to open them, something that then allowed him to stroke my tongue with his. I diminished the distanced that separated us by pressing against his chest, placing my hands on his waist as I continued to kiss him fiercely. It didn't take me long to feel the hunger and thirst for his lips; now no one could stop me from enjoying them. I continued to play with his tongue, separating myself just long enough to breathe before reuniting our mouths. The hunger kept intensifying, centering itself at a low point on my bellybutton, sending electrical discharges to the zone between my thighs. Peeta placed one of his hands on my waist, pressing my hips against his. I gasped when I noted how his hand was heading towards my back while the other was at the nape of my neck. I don't know how long we spent with our lips glued together when I began to notice that I was running even more and more out of breath each time, and that the point where there were electrical charges going down my body was beginning to palpitate and…moisten? I opened my eyes when I realized what the hell this meant, and although I didn't pull back, I still reduced the intensity of the kiss with a soft nibble to Peeta's bottom lip, then finally stepped aside, panting in search of air.

Peeta had been about to reproach me, I could see it in his expression, but right in the instant that he had been about to talk, Buttercup, our now stupid cat, jumped over the table on top of the pastry ingredients, spilling the flour.

"Hey! NO!" Peeta yelled at him, scolding. I chuckled as I regained my composure over what had just happened.

"I told you I should have cooked him while I still had the chance," I said with a mocking smile, although I was actually uncomfortable with what I still felt inside of me.

"We still have time," he replied irritated, even though I wasn't sure if it was because of the mess that the cat had made, or because I had separated myself from him.

"You know we don't," I whispered sadly. It was Prim's cat, and it was the only thing I had left of her. Peeta saw this and he hugged me as I stayed in his embrace for few seconds and then let go.

"I'm going to go take a shower," I used the same excuse that he had used this morning. I didn't do it on purpose; I truly needed that bath, but something in his eyes made me see that he thought so and even then I let him believe it and disappeared from the kitchen.

I entered the bathroom quickly and closed the door as I turned the lock. I then leaned against it, gasping again. The word excitement reappeared in my head, twice in one day now, that wasn't good, it couldn't be good…I didn't even know that that was what I had felt in the kitchen, perhaps I had read if in a book, or maybe I had heard it at school, it had to be that…no one had ever explained it to me, nobody had told ever told me about "that," no one had prepared me for these sensations…but it was clear that I knew what they were; I was completely conscious of what had just happened to my body. But it was something that I didn't want, something that I couldn't allow myself. It was possible that all of this would ruin the protective relationship that Peeta and I were beginning to have, and I couldn't afford to lose it; I knew that if something happened, both he and I would suffer, and I couldn't bear to see my Peeta being hurt again.

I closed my eyes tightly and cursed myself, I didn't understand myself, I couldn't comprehend my feelings or my body. I enclosed a scream of desperation with my hand and began undressing as I looked at myself on the grand mirror that was on the shower bulkhead. After letting my panties drop, I stayed still, standing in front of my reflection, scrutinizing each portion of my body. I sighed, I didn't feel attractive; I didn't look pretty. My skin still had numerous "patches" of skin that the Capitol had implanted me; they were zones of skin that were lighter than my own, even though they were just as soft and they were less noticeable each day. I wished that they would disappear. And then there was my lack of hair, I don't know what type of absurd treatment they had used on my body, but ever since the treatment I had received for the Victory Tour, I hadn't grown a single hair on my body; my legs, armpits, and even my crotch were completely bare. I hated this deeply, it made me look like a child if it weren't for my breasts, which admittedly weren't very big but were still the appropriate size for my age. My hips had rounded out, an unmistakable sign that I was eating well, and that I was turning into a woman. A woman…I sighed. Is this what men liked? Is this what Peeta liked? I doubted it.

I undid my braid and covered my breasts with my wavy hair, which then really made me look like a child. I surprised myself by thinking that Peeta would surely not find my body attractive. I definitely had no idea what had just been awakened in my body. How was it that I was just now worrying about such trifles? It was repulsive…

I opened the hot water tap and observed how the water came out, soon causing vapor to release and fog up the mirror, which was better, because now I didn't have to look at myself. I stood under the hot water and tried to leave my mind blank.


	3. Chapter 3

I got out of the shower with my head a little clearer, wrapping myself up in a towel and drying my hair with another one. I then went to the bedroom and put on something comfortable. I returned to the bathroom to brush my hair; luckily it had already reached the desired length after having been cut so that it could heal. I brushed it by leaving it down so that it would air dry perfectly.

As I went downstairs, the smell of food invaded my nostrils, and it wasn't just bread. It was in that moment when I realized that the bun I'd had in the forest hadn't been enough to satiate my voracious hunger. I descended the stairs even faster and went into the kitchen. A pot was bubbling over the stove, an exquisite odor releasing from it as Peeta removed its content.

But something else caught my attention in that moment. On the table were the cupcakes that had just been in the oven a few minutes ago. I reached out to grab one while Peeta wasn't looking; his chocolate pastries were saying "eat me," and I took a huge bite without hesitating.

A guttural cry came directly from my lungs; it was such that all of Victor's Village must have heard me. Peeta turned around, wooden spoon in hand, and looked at me without understanding anything.

"What?" his eyes reflected fear when he saw the cupcake in my hand while I jumped ridiculously up and down, my other hand covering my mouth. It didn't take him very long to put two and two together, and he burst out laughing.

"It's not funny," I managed to say even with my tongue feeling limp, and I glared at him.

"Sure it is, Katniss," he laughed even harder after he heard me talk.

"I scalded my tongue because of you," I pretended to pout, knowing that Peeta wouldn't be able to resist that; yes, I could be mean and teasing, or at least I tried to be in some aspects.

As I'd predicted, he came closer to me and circled his arms around my waist. "It was your fault, sweetheart….for being impatient," he smiled.

I pulled away and cursed him even with my limp, scalded tongue. I picked up a bottle from the fridge and without any consideration of manners, I drank from it directly, taking huge gulps as tiny drops of cold liquid escaped from the corners of my lips and rolled down my face and neck until getting lost inside my shirt. The feeling of cold water running down neck made my skin rise.

I put the bottle down and dried my lips with the back of my hand as I l turned to Peeta. He was gazing at me in a rather strange way. He had the wooden spoon in one hand; his eyes were a bit glazed, wider than normal, his mouth slightly parted, as if it were about to say something, but no noise was coming out of it. Without meaning to, I slid my gaze down his chest and torso, and I confirmed that something in his pants was bigger than usual, although not as big as it had been when I'd touched it on the bed. What was happening to him this time? My cheeks went back to acquiring a reddish tint to them; it seemed that I had picked up the habit of blushing stupidly.

"Peeta?" at least my tongue was feeling better now, but it was still tingling.

Peeta simply approached me and did something I didn't expect. He tenderly brushed off some crumbs from the cupcake that had fallen on my shirt, over my breasts, and then one of his fingers gently dried the two drops of water that had trailed down my neck, so that he could lick that finger afterwards as his eyes met mine. This disconcerted me. Why in the world..? I suppose that he saw my look of confusion, but he just smiled and kissed my forehead, leaving me even more astonished, it that's even possible. He then went back to tending the pot.

I groaned, feeling even more perplexed than ever as I slumped down on the chair with my brow furrowed. I picked up the cupcake again, and this time, I began eating it in small bites as I pinched it with my fingers and then blew on it. Only suddenly I wasn't so hungry anymore and the only thing that I was craving for was cursing the damned boy with the bread for confusing me and laughing at me because that's what he seemed to be doing.

"You know, you look prettier without your brow furrowed," I didn't even notice that he was beside me until I noticed his fingers gently caressing my brow. I separated myself from him abruptly, more from being startled than from feeling bothered, and his crestfallen face made me smile.

"You're…" I began.

"What?" he asked.

"Silly," I finished as he smiled too, kissing my forehead.

"See, love? That's better," he said.

 _Love._ He had called me  _love_ , and I wrinkled my forehead again.

"Now what, Katniss?"

"Something smells burnt…like burnt bread," saved by the bell, or rather the oven timer.

Peeta ran towards the oven and opened it as dark smoke came out of it. He cursed, and I couldn't help but laugh. But my laugh was cut short, and, without noticing, he grabbed the oven handle with his bare hand. The result? A prominent cut running down the palm of his hand. He moaned in pain as he held on to his hand. I ran up to him and saw that his skin was bright red, and soon it would have blisters. I blew softly on the burn, like a mother would do to her child, and gently pulled it underneath the faucet. I opened it and placed his hand beneath the water, looking at it worriedly. His painful grimace tightened my heart; I couldn't stand to see him suffer, even if it was for something as simple as a burn on his hand.

"Keep your hand like this; I'm going to get the bottle of burn ointment," I myself had ordered one of those magical ointments from the Capitol, the truth was that Peeta was very prone to burning himself with the oven, yes, he was a bit of a klutz…

I ran for the medicine cabinet and came back as fast as I could, I couldn't help but remember all of the times that Peet had scared me with his wounds, even during the first hunger games, when I pretended to be in love in with him, even then I couldn't handle my preoccupation, I remembered how I had cleaned the wound off of his now inexistent leg, the pus, the signs of septicemia…a shudder when down my back, no, I definitely would not be able to handle it if something happened to him…like in the second hunger games, when he had stopped breathing, there were still times that I sobbed from remembering that event; Peeta was my sustenance, I need him more than anyone.

"I'm here, let me see," I removed his hand from underneath the faucet and I carefully dried it with small pats, blowing on it.

"That's it, I think," I swallowed. Blisters were already starting to appear in the bright red zone.

Without lingering any longer, I applied the ointment over his burn with tiny pats. Small gasps of relief escaped from his lips. I looked at him once I had finished applying it over the mark. I couldn't decipher his expression. There was a half smile on his lips; he was gazing at me fixedly with those penetrating blue eyes, his pupils were even more dilated than normal.

"What are you looking at, Peeta?"

"You could be a nurse….you could be helping your mother, I'm always telling you that," he smiled.

"You know that's not true…I hate blood….and pus…ugh," he laughed at the grimace on my face. I used that moment to pick up a clean bandage and wrap it around the palm of his hand. I didn't need any more painful memories.

"It'll be healed by tonight," I said as he nodded, still smiling at me.

I returned his grin, allowing myself to get lost in his eyes, looking at his eyelashes again, those tiny eyelashes, so blonde, so perfect, just like his body. I had been so spellbound that I didn't even notice when he stamped a kiss on my lips, which tasted a little short. I was beginning to become too thirsty for his kisses, but I needed to control myself, if we didn't control our kisses, they would lead to more, and more…and it exceedingly frightened me to not know where the limit was.

Peeta began to set the table with one hand, and I hurried to help him, preventing him from continuing. Later on, I served the delicious stew and we sat down to eat, even though I was hungry for something that wasn't exactly food.


	4. Chapter 4

The rest of the day was uneventful. After we ate, Peeta went to take some stew to Haymitch, and he spent the entire afternoon there. As for me, I picked up our memory book and began writing a new page. I dedicated this one to the stupid cat who was sleeping on the sofa right now. I would never admit it out loud, but I owed a lot to that sack of fur and bones. He had made Prim smile more than once, all he had had to do was rub against her legs to make my little sister stop crying. And now, strangely enough, he was helping me.

When he came back, I hated him because he had come looking for her, he had called for her insistently, he had spent whole nights meowing and scratching Prim's bedroom door. And those plaintive meows made me go mad as I sobbed while I heard him night after night. But later, those mewls began to diminish, I would only hear them on certain occasions, especially at night, when the nightmares would wake me up. For that at least, I was grateful.

A few nights after Peeta came back, the damned cat came back to mewl persistently , waking me up like he had all the other nights before that, except for one thing; that night, for the first time, I had been having a happy a dream. I had gotten up angrily and picked up the cat by the scruff, determined to twist his neck without any consideration. But when I raised my hand to do so, he took me between his paws and licked me with his rough tongue. I stared at him for a second, and then burst into tears. But instead of hissing at me and then running away as he usually did, he came closer and rubbed himself against my legs, just like he used to do with Prim. I sobbed even harder, but ever since then I couldn't keep thinking of getting rid of him.

I decided to write all of this in the book, little by little, with my best handwriting, and later on when Peeta got home, I asked him to draw Buttercup.

That night, I cooked a delicious squirrel stew, using the same basic recipe that was used to cook the Capitol lamb stew, except that lamb was scarce in Twelve, so I used a squirrel, which was Peeta's idea since he was the cooking expert, while I , well, I was merely an apprentice. We dined over Peeta's typical jokes and touches. Touches that ultimately made me melt, noticing how the skin on the nape of my neck bristled every time his fingers brushed some neglected part of my neck, and I couldn't help but smile like a fool as I stared down at me plate.

I went to bed shortly before Peeta, waiting for him to arrive and hold me safely against his chest. I kissed him there and stroked him gently with my eyes closed. Meanwhile, Peeta was tangling his fingers in my hair, forming curls, providing me with a sensation of warmth and comfort. And that's how I had allowed sleep to overtake me.

I don't know how long I had slept when I woke up, but it was still dark. I turned around, looking for Peeta so that I could use his chest as a pillow, but the other side of the bed was cold. I felt a slight oppression on my chest and I turned on the light. Obviously, the only person who was in the room was me. I tried to calm down, repeating to myself that Peeta was probably in the bathroom. I left the light on and I covered myself as I tucked my legs in. It was a horrible feeling of restlessness to not have him beside me in bed, I needed him by my side; I need his soft breathing as a lullaby, I even needed the soft snores that he emitted when he was profoundly sleep. I began to shiver and huff with my eyes closed tightly.

I counted the seconds, one, two, three…I bit my lip, twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one, why was I so stupid? I finally pulled away the sheets and went towards the bathroom. There was no light beneath the door. The tightness I felt in my chest came back. Why had he left? Why had he abandoned me again? Fortunately, something inside me made me look towards the stairs, where a soft reflection of orange light climbed over them. I sighed in relief and followed the light that was coming from below the stairs.

The light was coming from the living room, and from the intensity of it I deduced that it was coming from the lamp beside the sofa. I leaned on the wall frame and stayed there as I observed Peeta, who was sitting on the comfortable sofa with a thin book in his hand. I could tell from the look on his face that it was probably very interesting. He flipped the pages rapidly with his mouth half open, every once in a while making a strange face as he stared at a particular page longer the rest. It must have been very fascinating, for I had been staring at him for at least fifteen minutes, and he still hadn't noticed my presence.

I coughed lightly as I entered the living room. He looked at me, scared, almost as if I were some disgusting mutt, with his eyes wide and his mouth even more open than before. He quickly hid the book behind him and picked up the cushion on the sofa, placing it on his lap. I backed away, taking a step back, his reaction had frightened me, I had no doubt that he would launch for my neck any second.

"Peeta?" I stammered. "You're having one of your attacks, real or not real?"

"What? NO! Katniss…no…no…not real, of course not," he seemed nervous.

"Well then, what's wrong? What are you hiding?" I stepped closer, but he blocked my view, covering the thin book with his body.

I didn't hesitate as I threw myself against him so that I could get a hold of that blasted object of discord that was being protected by Peeta's strong body right now. I managed to grab it, but he did too, and we began to struggle. I pulled hard on it with both hands, but he pulled even harder with only one while he held on to the cushion that was between us with the other one. I ended up astride Peeta, pulling on the book with all of my strength, but the paper was slippery and my hands were losing firmness, so I had to keep inclining forward so that I could get a better hold of it. Peeta didn't seem like he was going to let me get away with it, and I didn't understand it, it was just a stupid book that we were fighting over like two kids do over a toy. I made a more intense tug, and was able get the book at the same time that I lost my balance.

I fell on my back with a soft thud against the carpet, but with the accursed book in my hands. I glared at Peeta, who was looking at me again with his mouth open.

"Katniss, it's not what it looks like…" I raised an eyebrow, looking at him suspiciously.

I regained my composure on the floor, and even though my rear was stinging, I stayed sitting. I looked at the front cover of the book. There was a full-colored photo on it of a woman in her underclothes. Her ensemble was an intense black color, yet completely transparent, since you could see her breasts and crotch through the cloth. I read the title of the supposed book: "Hot Chicks." The air left my lungs, and I looked up at Peeta. I didn't understand anything.

"Katniss…I didn't…Haymitch…"

"SSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH!" I snapped as I looked again at the book.

I took in some air, gathering courage as I opened it. A choked cry came out of my throat. There were no words on that page, not even a semi-naked woman. There, also in full color, was an enormous photograph of a huge penis penetrating a flushed feminine sex. I threw the thin book on the floor. I was sure that my face was emitting its own light from how red and ardent it was, even my ears were burning.

"I can explain…Haymitch gave me that magazine…I didn't want to—"

"And yet…" I gasped, "You were looking at it…"

"Out of curiosity."

I sighed, I didn't know what to say, I didn't understand why Peeta, the nice and sweet boy with the bread had been looking at that "magazine" with multiple pictures of semi-nude women and couples making love. What were his intentions? Did he like looking at them? That was disgusting. I looked at him in the eyes, I couldn't decipher them at this moment, but his blonde eyebrows were raised at the center as he furrowed his brow. I caught a glimpse of…guilt? Repentance? Embarrassment? It was possibly a mix of all three.

"He just thought that it would help us to…"

"To nothing, Peeta! I don't want that kind of help!"

Without being able to stand it anymore and without knowing how the hell pictures like that could help us, I ran out of the room towards the bedroom and got in bed, slipping the covers all the way up over my head. I didn't understand anything; this, what Peeta and I had, was becoming more difficult, as opposed to what I had thought. I had stupidly assumed that the affection that we shared would make things easier, that his kisses and touches would be our everyday bread, that we would never fight…great, what better timing than to realize now that I had been thinking like a little fairytale princess, which I had sadly enough stopped believing in a long time ago.


	5. Chapter 5

I couldn't stop thinking about those repugnant photos. I didn't know what was worse, the fact that people allowed themselves to be photographed during such intimate moments, which were extremely important in a relationship, or the fact that those photos were taken so that others could see them.

I didn't expect this from Peeta, it was the last thing I imagined, that he was a pervert who enjoyed looking at those things. How long had he been looking at those photos? How many magazines had he seen already? Immediately after that question, another one occurred to me that hurt me even more than the ones before, and in an almost absurd manner. What if I wasn't the first girl who Peeta had ever kissed? What if he had had been intimate with another girl before the first Hunger Games? Seeing him look at those photos made me think that it was the most logical thought.

The shadow of envy hovered over me in a terrifying manner. He had always told me that he had loved me ever since he saw me when we were younger, but… he didn't have to be in love to do it, and it was supposedly enjoyable to practice…it had never occurred to me, but I knew that Peeta had admirers at school, he was very attractive, cheerful, and charismatic. I'd overheard more than one group comment about his strong arms and sweet eyes. More than one girl could have fallen into his arms, and into his bed. I sighed bitterly and tried to comfort myself by thinking that he liked me now, that he was my Peeta, after everything that we had been through, after he had been tortured, after the tracker jacker venom, he loved me, and no one else would touch him, only me.

I opened my eyes, shocked that I had such possessive thoughts, such envy, I had never felt jealous before, and now it was attacking me, it was a feeling worse than thirst. I sighed and tried to adjust myself a little better and closed my eyes again when the hall light came on and leaked into the bedroom. I guessed that more than an hour had passed when I felt Peeta's weight on the bed. I covered myself and pretended to be asleep; I didn't feel like talking to him, I was hurt.

"I wish you could understand how difficult this is for me…." He murmured into my hair, "How difficult it is to control myself…" he kissed my temple and laid back down.

Control himself? My lip quivered, I was starting to feel afraid. Control himself…did that mean that he still couldn't control his attacks? I still remembered the last one he had, it had been months ago, long before he had started to sleep at my house. We both cried a lot after he had reverted. He had hugged me, frightened, and I had begged him to never leave me alone again. He hadn't done so since then.

I began to convince myself that he wasn't going to have an attack while we slept. But when his breathing slowed down, a sign that he had fallen asleep, I was unable to find sleep myself. I didn't succeed until the morning light began to enter through the window.

I woke up when the sun was high in the sky, the bright light filling the bedroom. I found myself right in the center of the bed, covered up and perfectly alone. I breathed deeply and despaired. I had to confront Peeta sooner or later, so why wait? I tossed the sheets back and got out of bed. I stretched and ran my fingers through my hair. I had never worried much about my appearance, but with Peeta close to me it was different, and I would rather be presentable in front of him. I put on my shoes, and with my pajamas still on, I went down the stairs in search of something to eat, even though it was rather late for breakfast.

As I went down the stairs, I heard another voice besides Peeta's in the living room. It was Haymitch's unmistakably rough voice. I smiled to myself; at least I would have someone else beside me when I confronted Peeta. They were talking vigorously, but in a tone of voice that was slightly lower than their usual voices, which caused me to pause for a second in the hallway, out of curiosity, listening in silence without letting them see me.

"She's going to start to need it as much as you."

"I'm not so sure Haymitch, we've been like this for months, and she hasn't even mentioned advancing a little bit more," Peeta seemed preoccupied.

"You sound a bit desperate, boy."

"I am. Damn it…you don't know what it's like to have her near and not be able to do what you desire," Haymitch laughed at this, "It's not funny…"

"You know how Katniss is," I groaned softly, hoping that they wouldn't hear me. "She's more innocent than a lamb…too pure, you'll have to release your inner beast and take her."

"Don't push it, Haymitch." For a moment I thought that Peeta was going to defend me and put that old drunk in his proper place, but nothing could be farther than the truth, since both burst out into guffaws.

I clenched my fists and for a second I wanted to enter the living room and kick them both in the crotch, but I dismissed the idea immediately. Instead, I ran up the stairs and went into the bedroom. I shut the door, trying not to slam it, and sat on the bed while burying my face in my hands. Damn them… is that what they thought of me? That I was an innocent child who knew nothing about life? Damn it, I had taken care of my family at only eleven, I had participated twice in the Hunger Games, I had survived and had become the symbol of the damned rebellion against oppression… and they dared to categorize me as innocent? I punched the pillow. I would show them, especially Peeta, that I was anything but innocent. And just then, the second thing that they had categorized me as popped into my head: "pure." I was pure.

I mentally repeated that word to myself until it lost its meaning. Pure. I wasn't stupid enough to not know what they were referring to. It seemed that it was all Peeta thought about nowadays. I inhaled and exhaled several times with my eyes screwed shut, relaxing myself so that I could think about the subject calmly. I didn't like it when they made fun of me; I wanted to show them that they had no reason to, but how? I recalled the photographs from last night and I compared them to my supposed purity. Well, it was clear what Peeta wanted, but what did I want? The hunger I felt during some of our kisses was clear, that excitement, those shocks of electricity running through my body, starting at my lips, going through my entire being only to reunite and palpitate in my intimacy. My body knew what it wanted too, but my mind was confused…the anger was mixing itself with the hunger that could not be satiated with food, my pride mixing with my fear. And unfortunately, pride was my sin, which caused me to decide in that moment that I would play the same game as those two, but in my own way.

I needed to come up with some sort of plan.

Well, I knew what was going to happen between Peet and me, but I had one problem; I had absolutely no idea how to act. It was possible that he had experience, or in his defect he had those pictures, but in my case… I only had my instinct and the embarrassing school classes, I only knew the basics, I knew that the male organ entered into the female one, and that it was supposed to cause pleasure. Even though no one was in front of me, I blushed just by imagining Peeta and I, both of us completely naked, holding each other, kissing, and him… penetrating me… an electric jolt hit me in between the legs, causing me to gasp. The feeling was the same as the one I had when we kissed, but much more intense. The jolt returned when I thought about his kisses and his hands over my hips. I knew what those palpitations meant, I had felt them several times before, but it wasn't until the morning of the day before yesterday that I came up with a better name for them. Excitation. I shuddered; if I felt this way just by thinking about it, I wondered how it would feel when I was actually in that situation. I was scared.

I needed to make up for my utter lack of experience with information if I wanted to show Peeta that I wasn't that innocent and that I wanted (or at least I thought I wanted) the same thing as him. But…where would I get this information? From my drunk mentor? From Sae? No…I would die of embarrassment and my cheeks would explode…maybe I needed to borrow Peeta's magazine…I sighed sadly. I was starting to feel terrified about everything that could happen.

I wanted it to happen, no? It was what my body screamed and yearned for when Peeta's hands brushed me. My body wanted his hands to touch me further than what was strictly moral. But my mind was screaming no, that we could go on like this, just as we had been doing so far. Chaste kisses and chaste touches. But… how long could we go on like this?

* * *

**_Teaser:_ **

_[….] I covered my chest with my arm and I turned a little, allowing him to see part of my torso. His face was like a poem, eyes darkened, mouth open, and cherry cheeks; he had blushed. I bit my lip again, nervous. This seemed to make him uncomfortable because he fixed his eyes on my lips and he shifted from one leg to another, putting his weight on the orthopedic one while he tightened his fists. […]_


	6. Chapter 6

I continued to rattle my brain as I sat on the bed. I had to do something, but I didn't know what and I didn't know how. Questions ran through my head, making my temples throb. Why did everything have to be so difficult? It was easier for me to leave things the way they were, with kisses and touches and sleeping together. Damn it, why did Peeta and my own body want to change it, the situation was more comfortable the way that it was….

I was lost in my thoughts when I heard the front door open and close, and then I heard footsteps climbing the stairs. I took in some air and released it with force, and without hesitating, I carefully decided to make my move; I would start the show. If Peeta wanted to look at naked bodies, then that's what I would give him….even if it was my own body, ugly and full of scars.

I got rid of my pajamas and went towards the wardrobe in my panties, opening it and pretending to look for something to wear. Just in that moment, the bedroom door opened and my face began to burn hot as he faced my back. All he could see was my bare back and my rear covered with nothing other than my white snow-colored cotton panties. I bit my lip and closed my eyes tightly, thinking about how it was a stupid idea, too stupid. But the cards were on the table, I could not turn around and simply yell at him, no, I wanted to…show him.

I picked up the first article of clothing that I saw and I clenched my fist, wrinkling it. I covered my chest with my arm and turned a bit, allowing him to see part of my torso. His face a total poem: wide eyes, mouth agape, and cherry-colored cheeks; he was flushed. I bit my lip again, nervous. This seemed to make him uncomfortable because he fixed his gaze on my lips and shifted from one leg to another, putting his weight on the orthopedic one while he tightened his fists. I smiled to myself. Was it working? Was it making him uncomfortable?

"Peeta?" I tried to make voice purr so that it resembled Effie's when she was trying to get something. "I'm getting dressed…" I stuttered. I was starting to feel ridiculous.

"I can see that…" Peeta gasped. But he didn't move, and he didn't stop staring at me with that look of surprise on his face; his mouth was starting to twitch.

"Will you let me continue?" I tried to use that same absurd tone from before and added a pout, since that usually worked for me.

He nodded and left quickly, even more flushed than before. I sighed sonorously and allowed myself to fall on my knees in front of the wardrobe. Save for my prep team, no one had ever seen me naked before. It had made me feel slightly defenseless, but I had achieved my objective, or so it seemed. Peeta had acted nervous, disconcerted towards my nudity…my cheeks regained color, but I tried to recompose myself and actually find something to wear this time.

I looked at all the clothing that I had in that large wardrobe. Too much of it was useless since it came from the Capitol: dresses of all colors, long, knee-length, mid-thigh… and even one that was a bit shorter; shirts with annoying multicolored and garish prints, some in one solid color, but most of them lacked cloth, and I also had a ton of sweaters for the winter, and dozens of pants. It was clothes that I hardly ever wore; I didn't like bright, striking clothing, I liked wearing faint colors and long pants, my shirts didn't have cleavage, even if it was summer. As Octavia had referred to me once, I was a prude. But now with Peeta near I sought to look more presentable, I tried to look nice, making sure that there no defects on my clothing and that they favored me as much as possible.

Deep in the wardrobe, I found a blouse that I had never worn before, it was black without sleeves and the cleavage was slightly more pronounced than the ones I usually wore, but not by much. I picked it up and held it in front of me, examining it. I decided to give it a try; I put on a dark bra that they had also given me and put on the shirt. It adjusted tightly to my body, but it wasn't uncomfortable, and as I suspected, the cleavage was indeed more pronounced than I was used to, but not too much, since it reached the line that separated my breasts. I grabbed some jeans and put them on as well. I left my hair down, forming soft curls from the braid I had on.

Once I was dressed, I weighed my options, I had to find some information…but neither Peeta nor anyone else could find out…in that moment I remembered the box of books that I found when I first came to live here, books upon books, it would take years to read them all. It was highly unlikely that the box contained any magazines like the one that Peeta had…but what if there was something there that could help me? Perhaps I could find a romance novel, like one of those ancient ones that my mother had brought with her to the Seam when she got married. I grew up watching her read those books with sappy titles, but when I tried to read one, she reprimanded me and told me that it wasn't for children. She threw them away when my father died. Maybe I could a picture in one of those books; there was always one of a couple kissing or hugging in the cover.

I went downstairs to eat breakfast as I thought about the box, that box was in the basement, gathering dust. I had to find the perfect moment to go down there.

As I entered the kitchen, Peeta greeted me shyly, and without even looking into my eyes, his gaze went directly down to the spot where my blouse began. I lifted it a bit, feeling uncomfortable as I gave him a reproaching look, causing Peeta to blush. I smiled, perfect. My eyes instantly paused at the sight of the tray filled with cheese buns, and my stomach rumbled. I picked one up and bit into it.

"It's delicious."

"Thanks, Katniss," his cheeks turned even brighter. Since when did Peeta blush at my compliments?

"Is something wrong, Peeta?" he simply shook his head, looking down at the floor.

I approached him and placed a hand on one of his shoulders. He looked at me and I smiled, luckily he returned it. His smile intoxicated me. All of him intoxicated me, his smile, his eyes, his hairs, his scent, his strong muscles…I had to reprimand my mind. I leaned in and kissed his nose.

"Last night's forgotten," I lied, but he didn't have to know that, did he? He smiled even wider, kissing me sweetly. I had to repress the urge to lounge for more.

I pulled away gently as I looked into his deep blue eyes and continued to devour the bun while I prepared myself a cup of tea.

"I'm going to take some buns to Sae, her granddaughter loves cheese buns," I nodded at him, assuming that he did it to avoid the uncomfortable situation in which we found ourselves.

He put a handful of buns in a sack and kissed me on the cheek. "I'll bring something to eat." I nodded again. A few minutes later, he had left me alone.

For a second I thought that my heart had stopped, he had just left and his absence pained me even more because we weren't fine, our situation was strange, uncomfortable… I was upset at him, but even then I tried to bother him, provoke him….provoke in him the sensations that I didn't even understand myself. I sighed, asking myself for the umpteenth time why everything had to be so complicated; I only needed him close. I rubbed my temples; I had to look at the bright side: it was like the heavens had heard me, since I now had few hours to myself to search through the box of books.

I walked towards the basement door and opened it. Everything inside it was dark, and before I entered, I ran my hand through the wall and lit a small bulb that gave off a faint light. I closed the door behind me and went carefully down the stairs. Unlike the rest of the house, the basement was dismal and damp, and it had a smell similar to the mines. The walls were bare cement and the metal stairs squeaked as I went down. I finally reached the end of them and looked around me, there were shelves against the walls, most of them empty, and in between two of them there were three boxes stacked on top of each other. The one I was looking for was at the bottom.

I removed the two boxes on top and opened the lid of the enormous box. The dust filled the air and made me sneeze a few times. When I recomposed myself, I took a deep breath and began to flip through the books. Most of them were books about medicine or history, one of them in particular caught my attention, it was simply titled "History," but on the cover there was a picture of an ancient hovercraft, it looked somewhat like a bird, since it had two large wings and a tail, and the word "airplane" crossed my mind, but I wasn't sure if that's what it was called or if an "airplane" was something else.

I continued to shift through the box and underneath the largest books, the novels began to appear. I put aside three for the moment and began to read the first one. I opened it in half and scanned through it. It took me a while to get to the interesting part:  _"we walked in silence, hand in hand, the night was descending, and after a while we found a dark and sheltered place. He kissed me as he held me tightly. He stroked my back and this time his hands directed towards my chest for the first time, over my clothes. 'We should keep walking to my house.' I nodded and we walked there quickly."_ It was starting to get interesting, so far there was nothing new in there that Peeta and I hadn't done, sort of; he had never touched my chest. I frowned at the simple thought of it. I kept reading, but the characters never got the guy's house since he was run over by a car and fell into a coma, and the girl promised him eternal love on his hospital bed. I snorted and put the book back with the others and continued with the rest. The same thing seemed to happen in all of them, love, caresses, kisses, a little bit of intimate touching, but right before the very end, one of the main characters would die. Tragic romance. I don't know why I was even surprised; it was exactly what they had pretended to do with me and Peeta in our first games, no?

I almost gave up hope; I was already cursing the time that I had wasted when I took a book out of the box, it was finer than the rest that I had looked at until that moment, it had a black leather cover without books and an elegant gold title that said: " _The Perfect Lover's Manual_." My breath escaped my lungs in a rapid jolt without me even intending it. Was it actually possible that something like this existed? Even more, was it possible that it had actually been in my basement? It was as if a genie had heard and granted my wishes. The probability was unlikely, but there it was, as if the manual was calling to me, and I only hoped that it wasn't as absurd as the other books I had leafed through.

I opened it timidly and began to read:  _"Congratulations on acquiring this stupendous manual that will help you achieve what you greatly desire, but first we must clarify that the most important thing to remember is that in order to gain it, having self-confidence in your character is key."_ I sighed.  _"We will begin in steps, the first one being Seduction."_ I moaned pitifully.


	7. Chapter 7

I ran out of the house with the cheese buns in my hand almost as if a mutt was chasing me. Last night had been the weirdest and most embarrassing of my entire life. I had waited for Katniss to fall asleep so that I could go down to the living room and look at what Haymitch had given me a few hours earlier. When Katniss had found me there with the magazine in my hand, I thought I would die, not only because I wanted her so badly, but also because of the erection that I had attempted to hide, hopefully with success.

I perfectly recalled our conversation from that afternoon.

" _So the girl is driving you crazy, huh?" He took a swig from his liquor bottle. He was sitting on the sofa, or rather, slouching on it. His shirt was buttoned in the wrong places and he smelled a bit stale, as if he hadn't showered in a week._

" _Completely, Haymitch," I sighed as I buried my face in my hands._

" _Then why don't you to try to do something about it? I'm sure she wants a little bit of progress too," He swung his hips, making a thrusting motion with this his hands. "She just doesn't know it."_

" _You don't know that, Katniss thinks too much, she's too complicated."_

" _Kid….I saw that kiss in the arena, all of Panem saw it, and believe me, it looked like the beginning of a porno movie," he grinned, his eyebrows lowering._

" _Porno? What's that?" He took another gulp from his bottle, nearly choking on my question._

" _Are fucking kidding me, you don't know what that is? Don't you know what you do with women under the sheets?"_

" _Of course I know, it's what I have wanted to do to Katniss for weeks," I said bashfully, only to fume angrily at Haymitch's cackle._

" _Do you know how to do it, boy?"_

_I nodded."They explained it to us at school, and I've heard about it from my brothers." He burst out laughing again, even louder than last time; he was really starting to bother me._

" _Look kid, that's not going to be enough for the girl on fire…" he disappeared without saying further, only to return a few minutes later. "Here, enjoy and make her enjoy," he winked at me._

_I took it and looked up at him, eyes wide; it was some sort of book, with only a few pages and an enormous picture of a very attractive woman in her undergarments on the cover._

" _What is this?"_

" _Porno, adult magazines….whatever you want to call it…it'll help you learn how to satisfy a woman."_

_I started to hyperventilate as I flipped through it. Naked bodies, male and female genitalia, completely exposed, touches, pinches, licks….and at the very end, penetrations, in hundreds of full-colored photographs._

" _Don't thank me, kid," He smiled openly, even though I wasn't planning to thank him. All of this seemed like a bad idea, but he was drunk, and I didn't want to be rude, so I took the magazine with me when I left his house._

When I had gotten home, I stashed the magazine under one of the bedside tables in Katniss' room, but when she fell asleep, I couldn't stop thinking about all of those images. What if they really did help me? I made sure that she was sleeping and picked up the magazine as I went downstairs to read it in the living room so that I wouldn't wake her.

Thinking about that conversation had also made me think about all of the ones that I had had with my brothers when they had thought that I liked a girl (even though they had been right, they had never asserted who the owner of my dreamy sighs was). They explained to me how I needed to kiss her, how I should touch her body…and remove her clothes… even though they had always been rough, and had talked about it in a very crude way, as if girls were just pieces of meat to them. But I wanted to make Katniss feel good, I wanted to caress her and make her climax beneath my body. Just thinking about it excited me.

I sighed. How much longer did I have to wait? Damn it, I needed Katniss that way, I needed to make her mine, to touch places in her body that I had never even brushed against, especially now after seeing her half-naked. Oh god, my self-control had almost gone to shit when I saw her there, standing, wearing nothing but those virginal panties…when she had turned towards me, I could see a small part of one of her breasts, and that had driven me crazy with desire, and instead of pouncing on her like a predator does its prey, I had run out of the room and gone straight towards the bathroom to relieve the pressure.

Why did she have to be so exceedingly sensual? She had tiny habits that made me go completely wild. The worst part of it was that I was sure that she didn't even notice it: her heated kisses, her voice when she asked for something, how she wrinkled her nose, or how she bit her lip when she was either nervous or in deep thought. Small things that made me go hard in seconds and forced me to use all of my willpower so that I wouldn't throw myself on her…the last straw had been seeing her like that, naked, her voice sounding sexy…

Damn it! I wasn't like this, I was a decent guy, not a pervert obsessed with Katniss' beautiful curves…what if Snow's tortures had changed me? What if the Capitol had changed my deepest feelings, and I would never be the same? I was afraid that I had stopped being the guy that I was before…and well, of course I had changed in some aspects, but had they changed who I was too? Were my gentlemanly gestures to Katniss a façade that would soon fall to reveal the beast?

I had to convince myself otherwise, repeating to myself hundreds of times that that wasn't the case, that I had been yearning for Katniss for a long time now, even long before our first kiss, I would dream about her, as a boy they would be innocent dreams about us playing together for hours, but as I grew up, the dreams got more intense, no longer apt for children by the time I was fourteen. Ever since then, I would imagine touching Katniss' body, and now, it was torture, a sweet form of torture, but still torture nonetheless.

I needed her, I needed her in a way that she couldn't even imagine; she was so innocent, so pure…I was sure that she had never even thought about sex in her life, ever, and it was something that I liked, knowing that no one had ever touched her before, and not even she had felt the need to touch or to be touched. I was the only who caressed her now, the only one who touched her, but I wanted more, needed more, I needed Katniss' body like I needed to eat or drink, I needed to devour her with my hands, wander over zones that not even she had discovered… I needed it, I needed it NOW.

I was completely tired of getting up every morning with a painful erection and trying to hide it, tired of trying to hide the excitement I felt when I stroked her or kissed her; I needed that to be normal for us so that she could relieve my hardness… but at the same time I was scared, what if I had her but didn't satisfy her? I bit my lip, crestfallen by the idea. I needed to make her feel good…to make her enjoy all of this, make her happy for sure.

I didn't even notice how long I had been walking until I appeared in front of Sae's; I had been so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't even paid attention to the path I had traveled. I exhaled; I needed to get rid of these thoughts before something went wrong.

I rang the doorbell, and a little girl with a cute green dress and two perfectly done braids opened the door and allowed me to step in as she yelled: "Grandma, it's Peeta!"


	8. Chapter 8

I gulped and slowly turned the page. The title of the first chapter was written in enormous red letters that said: " _Seduction."_ I stroked the letters leisurely and took in some air as I began to read. It began by saying that I needed to have confidence in myself. Well, there was no problem with that; I had confidence in myself and in my actions. I knew what was right and what wasn't, I knew what I wanted. Eh…well, maybe not that, but that might change thanks to this book. But it was in the next paragraph where I began running into problems, it literally said that if I saw myself as pretty and attractive, it would be easier for the boy to think that I was attractive too. Great, I had only read half a page and I was already failing. To see myself as pretty…was impossible….I didn't believe that I would ever see myself so favorably unless I was using the hundreds of beauty treatments that my prep team had put me under.

I decided to skip that part, but the next one wasn't any better…it talked about dressing well, favoring your good qualities and hiding the bad ones. But what if I didn't have any good ones? It then went on to discuss ways of speaking, moving, and acting in order to follow seduction. Even though I completely disliked the book, I had to admit that it at least gave good advice; some of it was interesting and helped me understand some of the things that happened when I was with Peeta. For example, it talked about how his Adam's apple would bob up and down, indicating that he was gulping when he watched me bite my lip without meaning to, and explained why he would stare at my hand so fixedly when I played with my hair while we ate breakfast. In those moments, Peeta was allowing himself to be seduced.

Perhaps I had already seduced him after all. Maybe him being in love with me meant that he was already seduced. He was, wasn't he? But it didn't talk about that in the book, so I remained in doubt.

A few minutes later, I had finished reading the entire chapter. I now had more doubts than before, no, I was definitely not starting out well…but even then I decided to keep reading the next chapter, which was titled with the short and simple word  _"Kisses."_  I chose to skip it, thinking that the kisses that Peeta and I shared was a subject that I didn't need to learn any more about, I liked how he kissed me, and by his reactions I supposed that he liked the way that I did it too. I bit my lip, remembering his kisses and the heat that gathered below my abdomen, and then I noticed that I was feeling it again as I remembered it.

The next chapter was  _"Caresses,"_ and even though I was tempted to skip this one too, I forced myself to start reading it. Usually it was Peeta who would touch me, and I would be the one letting him. My strokes were limited to his hair and chest, and I wanted to know more. The first two lines reminded me to touch what appeased to me at that moment, as long as it was gentle and avoided the erogenous zones. I had no idea what "erogenous zones" meant, I would need to look it up in the dictionary and figure it out, but I didn't care and decided that I would start touching Peeta whenever I felt like it, I liked touching him and watching him close his eyes in relaxation.

I set the book aside on the shelf and starting placing the rest inside the box, leaving everything as I had found it. I then went up to the living room with the book so that I could keep reading it. But as soon as I starting reading what the next chapter was about, I put it down quickly. No, I didn't have the strength to face this, or at least not at the moment; I couldn't stop my cheeks from turning the same color as the strawberries that I picked in the forest; maybe I could keep reading once I learned how to control my blushing. Damn it, why did everything have to be so complicated? I had just learned a new word:  _"Masturbation."_  And to think I didn't even know that girls could touch themselves for pleasure too.

This sort of thing wasn't for me; I don't know who I was trying to fool. I wasn't meant to seduce, I wasn't seductive, and I wasn't a "lady." I hunted, soiled my clothes with mud, and cursed.

Great, my plans were going adrift.

I went upstairs to my room and put the book inside the wardrobe, in between my clothes, and went down to the living room. This time, I picked up another book that was on the small shelf and lay back on the sofa as I started reading the ancient, boring book, wishing that Peeta wouldn't take long.

I soon got tired of the book and left it resting on my chest. I closed my eyes as that word came back into my mind:  _masturbation._ I had heard things at school, and it had been mentioned more than once that boys sometimes touched themselves, and that they liked doing it. Did Peeta do it? An amused smile played on my lips, followed by a slight heat on my cheeks. From the few things that I had read, it seemed that women did it too, or at least some of them...how did it feel?

Without being fully aware of my actions, I unbuttoned my pants and slid my hand into them, leaving my hand there, over my panties, pressing slightly. Nothing. I didn't feel anything, just the pressure. I put aside the soft cotton cloth and placed my hand over my bare skin; it was really soft skin, one of the few parts of my body that wasn't scarred. I moved my fingers slightly, stroking my intimacy right over the small line that parted it. It didn't feel any different, it was only a touch that was being provided by me, no different than the others, and it wasn't even half as pleasurable as the soft strokes that Peeta gave my neck. Maybe I wasn't doing it right, but I didn't care, I didn't need to do it, it was fine. I relaxed and fell asleep that way without meaning to.

"Katniss…"

"Hmmm?"

I cracked my eyes open, dazed. "What?"

"Are we going to eat…?" I nodded as I rubbed my right forearm, my hand still lost beneath my panties; I had fallen asleep that way. I instantly removed it, feeling the heat rise on my cheeks again, blushing. Peeta smiled, bit his lip, picked up that same hand, and kissed my fingers. I thought that he was going to ask me about it, or simply laugh about it, but no, he just made that sweet gesture, holy heaven, was there anyone in this world sweeter than him? I remembered one of the points on the "Seduction" subject, and I bit my lip as I looked at him, stroking his lips and cheek.

"Let's go," I made him leave the trance in which he seemed to be stuck in, picked up his hand, and walked towards the kitchen; the table had already been set. Another blush appeared as I thought about how long Peeta had been home while I'd had my hand posed over my intimacy. I tried with all of my strength to get rid of that thought, washed my hands on the sink, and we sat down to eat.

After we finished, I got up to wash the dishes, and after a while I looked up at him as I cleaned the table.

"Why did Haymitch give you that magazine?" the words tumbled out of my mouth before I even thought them, I didn't even know if I wanted to know the answer. He looked at me, his eyes wide, and blushed. I loved seeing Peeta like this, it was too cute.

"You know how he is…" He seemed to think about it for a few seconds. "He thinks it's time for us to become closer."

"Become closer…in the same sense as those photos, no?" He nodded as I simply sighed, I was embarrassed to admit that I would like to try it, that my body was screaming for it, but it didn't how, and I was scared. "What do you think?

"Me?" His voice raised at least an octave; he left his silverware on the table and began to play with the bottom of his shirt, nervous. "It's complicated…for you…for your…"

"Don't you even dare mention my innocence, Peeta," I snapped, interrupting him.

"Katniss…"

"No, Peeta, I'm not innocent, I'm not a child…no…no…" I began to hyperventilate. "Look, I know I might not have your experience, but I'm not a prude…I know…what you need to do…it's just that…"

"It's just that what?" I could see the preoccupation on his face.

"It's just that… it scares me…I promised myself a long time ago that I would never be in a romantic relationship…and…look at us…" Sadness furrowed his face, a sadness that tugged at my heart. "I'm not saying that I regret….whatever it is that we have…" his half-smile illuminated me.

"If one day…you and I….you know…you'll have to teach me," my face felt like it was about to explode in that moment, it was burning with embarrassment.

"Katniss, I have the same experience as you…" He approached me and stroked my arm. "How could you think…?"

"You're very…handsome…the girls at school would never stop talking about you during class; it's normal…" He laughed a few inches away from my face.

"For me there's only you, you've been the only one….always…your eyes…your lips…your skin…" He continued his caresses, now going down my neck; it was as if my skin melted at his touch. Hearing him say that filled me with happiness, it made my heart pound.

"Only me…"

He nodded and his lips approached mine, and it was that instant, the instant when he leaned towards me that seemed eternal. When he finally placed that juicy delicacy on my lips, I gasped and kissed him fiercely. I bit his bottom lip gently and stroked him with my tongue, and then played with his as it came out to meet mine. He came closer to me, stroking my hips as my body slammed against the sink. I growled against his lips and held him tightly, wrinkling his shirt as I clutched it in my fists. I continued to drink from his lips, biting and licking them as he did the same with mine.

His hips rested against mine, and I moaned as I noticed that same hardness against my stomach that I had felt two days before against my back, and the electricity began to concentrate right where I felt it. In that moment, Peeta pulled away and bit his lip, leaving me shocked and gasping without understanding why he did it; he was leaving a deep emptiness inside me. I gazed at him pleadingly, but he shook his head, panting.

* * *

__

_**Teaser:** _

_[….] I bit my lip; I knew that he wouldn't like my naked body with so many scars and patches covering it._

" _Peeta, I know that…"_

" _Shh," He placed a finger over lips[…]_


	9. Chapter 9

I was leaning against the sink, watching him gasp for breath, and as I gasped myself, I wondered why he had pulled away. He looked at me for a few seconds and then went running out of the kitchen. Damn it, now that I had finally decided to do this, he did this to me, was he an idiot or what? I followed him panting, feeling obfuscated.

"Damn it, Peeta! Now what's wrong?" I yelled at him as he sat down on the sofa.

"I can't do this…I can't do this to you…"

"Do what to me?"

"This…it's not what you want…you don't want…"

"What I want or not is up to me to decide isn't it?" I spat. He looked at me again, his face preoccupied, and I could even see a certain sliver of fear in it. He nodded briefly, moving his head only once, a gesture that made me smile; he acted like a frightened child.

"Then don't say any more and kiss me, you idiot!"

He grabbed me by the waistband of my pants and threw me on top of him, making me laugh like a dork. I wrapped my arms around his neck and sat astride him, kissing him sweetly. This time, Peeta didn't hold back, he kissed me passionately, seeking my tongue inside my mouth as if his life depended on it, stroking it as our tongues then wrestled ferociously inside of his mouth. He paused for breath and then he plunged back in to kiss me fiercely, his lips crashing into mine, smiling, and then he bit my bottom lip, making me shiver. The hunger inside of me fanned back to life and demanded me for more, and I didn't deny it. I let go of the hold of his teeth and licked his lips, only to repeat this with his tongue, inviting it to enter my mouth again and play. In that moment, one of my hands was playing with his hair as the other gripped his shirt over his chest. The heat in my center was becoming unbearable, the throbbing became more and more intense, and the wetness permeated through my underwear. Peeta was gripping my hips with force, pressing on them with his strong fingers.

We continued our intense kiss, and when Peeta pressed me closer to him, I moaned like never before, a low rumble that had come from my throat, a gasp that was far different from the ones of pain that I was used to hearing. And for the first time, I noticed Peeta's hardness against the center of my being. I gasped loudly and pulled away as I looked at him.

"Does it bother you?"

"What does?"

He looked down to where I was gazing, and when I met his eyes again, he was completely flushed. His sweatpants had an enormous bulge that was in between us now. "My…my…my erection?"

"Erection…." I mumbled, repeating the word, which I didn't recall ever hearing before.

"Just a bit….because of the clothes…but it's supposed to do that so it can…"

"I know it has to do that, silly." Now it was me who was blushing. He smiled and kissed me sweetly, placing his hand over the lowest part of my back, on the curve that separated it from my behind.

"You're aroused too…" I nodded, looking away embarrassed and slightly afraid.

"We won't do anything you don't want." He tilted my chin up, forcing me to meet his gaze as he stroked my rosy cheek.

And I kissed him again; I kissed him like I had never kissed him before, with a voracious hunger for him, for his lips, for his perfect body. I felt his hands on my back and underneath my shirt, running his fingers through its entirety, drawing lines on my spine. I purred against his lips, biting them. When I pulled away for air, he took this opportunity to lift my shirt as he looked at me, as if asking me for permission. I scooted back, sitting on his knees, and testing the flexibility of my own. As soon as I did this, I raised my arms without letting go of his gaze so that he knew that I was granting him permission. For the first time, I confronted Peeta in only a bra.

I bit my lip; I knew that he wouldn't like my naked body with so many scars and patches covering it.

"Peeta, I know that…"

"Shh," He placed a finger over my lips.

He then stroked my chin and went down to my neck, making small figures on it. His finger continued its descent down my body; he caressed my cleavage and his finger passed in between my breasts, only to keep going down over the line that led to my navel. He played around it and then continued going down until it reached the waistband of my pants. I had dedicated myself to stare fixedly at his finger, panting as I enjoyed his touches, and feeling aroused, very aroused.

He unbuttoned my pants and lowered the zipper as he gazed directly into my eyes. His pupils were extremely dilated, his eyes were showing me something in them that I had never seen before and which I could not decipher. I bit my lip again. But he didn't try to remove my pants; he only pushed them down a little, allowing him to see part of my underwear. He lifted me by the hips again and pressed me closer to him so that he could play with my tongue, and I moaned again when our intimacies touched. We didn't kiss for a while, since he had turned his attention down to my neck. He began with gentle kisses that made me tremble, but later on he used his teeth to graze at my skin, and I shivered even more as I clenched his shirt by the shoulders. It was then that I noticed that this garment was extra, causing me to gather enough willpower so that I could pull away for a second and get rid of it.

The thrill that overcame me as I saw his bare chest was still indescribable. Even though his skin had as many marks as mine, it was perfect to me, his chest was just as muscular as his arms, and his abdomen didn't fall behind, I was convinced that if he wanted to, he could show me the strong abdominal muscles beneath his skin. And then there was that fine line of blonde hair that descended down to his bellybutton until it got lost in his pants. I felt the impulse to touch it, causing Peeta to moan even more intensely than before, and I smiled as I passed my fingers through that same path again while my lips trailed down to kiss his neck in the same way that he had kissed mine. He moaned again, I liked hearing him, it made me feel good, it let me know that I was doing it right. My instinct told me not to stop at his neck, and I continued down with the kisses and nibbles as far as my current position allowed me. I nibbled and kissed his shoulders with devotion, stroking his chest as I dug my nails softly into him.

When I noticed Peeta's right hand go down over my stomach and then begin to play with the elastic on my panties, I stopped kissing him and closed my eyes tightly, pressing my forehead against his shoulder, gasping, preparing myself for what was next.

"Should we stop here for today?" he asked me worriedly, and I looked up at him gasping, and then kissed him tenderly, gazing at him again.

"Continue…"

"I'll make sure you don't regret this…." I nodded and went back to kissing his neck in attempt to relax myself; I didn't understand it, but even with the hunger and the arousal, I was very nervous and terrified.

He played with the waistband of my panties again, panting against my ear, making the throbbing in between my legs increase, but this didn't relax me. When he snuck his hand inside them, I bit his shoulder, hard. He moaned.

"Where's your pubic hair, Katniss?" I leaned against his shoulder again, and I had to decipher the words inside my mind, since it was so far away from here at the moment that it took me a while to understand what he was saying.

"The Capitol kept it…since…the Victory Tour..." Peeta chuckled, rubbing the zone that was supposed to have the most fuzz. "Don't you like it?"

"I love it…" He kissed my cheek. "You're…soft…" I nodded.

He stroked that same spot tenderly for a while, making me sigh as my eyes closed. But as soon he went down another inch, sticking his finger in between my folds, a guttural cry came out of me. When one of his fingers touched something there, the throbbing increased, an even more intense palpitation running through my entire body. An electric current generated from my navel and then intensified at the point where Peeta had touched me, but this didn't bother me, on the contrary, it was even stronger than the hunger that I had felt a few minutes ago, I wanted more…I kissed his neck, waiting for him to keep going. And he did, of course he did, he kept playing with my intimacy, rubbing something inside it that made me moan with loud cries, sounding nearly absurd, and if I stopped to consider it, they were even embarrassing, but now was not the time to think.

A few minutes after those intense touches, I noticed how the electric charges increased at that point, like they had done inside me, a heat was beginning to gather in my lower belly, a heat that soon turned into fire, a fire so strong and intense that it began to burn me, it made me gasp and scream against Peeta's neck and shoulder, which I had stopped attending to a while ago. The fire blazed even more, and all of a sudden, without a warning, exploded like a bomb, making me cry out even louder and leaving me without air inside my lungs, the fire trailed through me entirely, now I was really the girl on fire. Peeta slowed down his rhythm and kissed my neck again, and as he allowed me to rest on his shoulder, I couldn't understand why I was so exhausted, I was panting and sweating as if I had been running, but it was different…now I was relaxed.

I bit Peeta's neck again, who had halted his movements, his hand still resting there.

"I don't know what that was…but it was wonderful, I had never felt anything like it before, Peeta," I managed to say stuttering.

"You've never had an orgasm?"

"That was an orgasm?"

"Of course," he smiled and kissed me so gently that it made me think that he probably thought I would break. "But I saw what you were doing earlier…you had your hand…"

"I don't know why I had my hand there….but…I never…" I stopped looking at him, shame was making an appearance again, and I wasn't about to tell him that I had tried to masturbate.

I settled on his lap, resting on his shoulder again. I don't know how, since I felt like I was floating, but I remembered the bulge in between his legs, and I lowered my gaze and touched that faint line of soft hair again. Hearing Peeta's moans intoxicated me. I kissed his neck again and continued to caress the rest of his chest, nibbling on him occasionally, then, as I gathered more courage, I placed my hand over his pants and pressed on it lightly, unsure.

"Do you like it?" He simply nodded as I squeezed a little more. I liked feeling his hardness against the palm of my hand, it made me feel powerful, it made me feel desired. "How?" I sighed. "I don't know what to do, Peeta." I said pitifully. I was about to break down and cry like a stupid girl; he knew and could do whatever he wanted to me at any moment, and I couldn't make him feel pleasure like he had done to me. Peeta sought my mouth and kissed me, it was a kiss so sweet, so tender, like the majority of his kisses, but then he bit my lip, panting against a new grip that I made on his hardness.

"I could show you…if you want…"

"I do."

* * *

__

**Teaser:**

_[…] I followed his intense kiss and then prepared myself to face reality. I lowered my gaze and there it was, the culprit of my discomfort a few days ago, and if I had to use a word to describe it, I would undoubtedly call it "big." I was sure that something like that couldn't possibly fit inside a woman. I gasped at the thought of this enormous piece of meat entering me, but even though I was afraid of it, I didn't dislike it, I wanted it. […}_


	10. Chapter 10

I wanted to learn, I needed to learn, I wanted to return those gestures to Peeta, to learn to give him the same pleasure that he had just given me. And the only one who could help me with this was Peeta himself; I would not discuss these matters with anyone else.

"I need to lower my pants…is that okay?" I nodded even though I wasn't sure.

"Do it."

He kissed me sweetly as the cloth that was in between us began to disappear, leaving it only up to his knees: well, this was it; Peeta Mellark was naked on my sofa, just for me. The old and insecure Katniss would have run away to avoid seeing his perfect body without anything covering it, but now the new one wished to see him and touch him, wished to not feel shame when I saw his perfect nudity.

I followed his intense kiss and then prepared to confront myself with reality. I lowered my gaze and there it was, the culprit of my discomfort a few days ago, and if I had to use a word to describe it, I would undoubtedly call it "big." I was sure that something like that couldn't possibly fit inside a woman. I gasped at the thought of this enormous piece of meat entering me, but even though I was afraid of it, I didn't dislike it; I wanted it.

"Touch it," Peeta asked me in a very hoarse voice. I trailed all of his length with my fingertips, gently, until I touched a tiny, shiny drop at the very peak of him, and that simple gesture made my boy with the bread moan with intensity, making me smile. I gave him a soft kiss on the lips as I went back to running my fingers over him, and then I wrapped my hand around him and squeezed him a bit.

"It's so hard," I gasped in surprise.

Peeta kissed me sweetly as his panting became heavier. He nibbled on my lips while he placed his hand over mine and lowered it over him, only to raise it back up in the same rhythm. I followed his movements and then stopped kissing him so I could watch how he did it. The skin that covered his penis glided up and down along with our hands. Soon, Peeta let go so I could do it on my own, and I continued moving my hand up and down, increasing the speed little by little, making him moan more intensely as well. I adored those sounds, I could spend my whole life listening to his gasps become more accelerated thanks to the movement of my hand that was now stroking his manhood frantically. His face was also unrecognizable, his mouth half open as gasps and moans escaped from it, his eyes closed, his eyebrows arched with an expression of pleasure, all of this was signaling me that I was doing it right. I liked that, and it excited me again, I noticed how the palpitations came back to my sex. I kissed him passionately again, even though I noticed that this time it was harder for him to return the gesture and play with my tongue, but I didn't care because I knew perfectly well why that was.

When Peeta began moaning loudly and hoarsely and his breathing became uneven, I moved my hand more rapidly, even though my arm was tired. A few seconds later, Peeta tensed and held his breath; I assumed that he was having an orgasm, as I had done before. Shorty after that, the tip of this penis began to release a viscous milky-colored liquid that stained my hand, his abdomen as well as mine, and his pants. Even though it frightened me, I didn't stop stroking him until he opened his eyes and gave me a goofy smile.

"Did you like it?" I asked him, unsure. What if he hadn't liked it? He laughed and kissed me as he stroked my hair.

"You were great." I smiled shyly.

"But there's one problem…" I was suddenly scared. "You've seen me naked, and I haven't seen you," I laughed, embarrassed as I remembered his complete nudity, and even though I still had his member in my hand, I had forgotten about it.

"And what do you propose? That I take my clothes off?" He nodded, causing a deep blush to invade my cheeks.

"I'm not going to take my clothes off," I could see the disappointment in his eyes as I kissed him sweetly and stroked his cheek, and although I knew that my cheeks had turned red again, I finished my sentence, "because you're going to do it." I tried to follow the advice from the book, I had used courage, and I had proposed it to him…and now all I needed was to stop this absurd blush from appearing every time Peeta was near.

Peeta stared at me with his mouth agape; had I scared him off? Luckily, he then smiled and kissed me again, hard, I didn't recognize this rough side of him, but now that I was discovering it in his kisses, I decided that I liked it and that it excited me. I gasped against his lips and started moving my hand again, which was still around his penis, which in turn had shrunk and become flaccid. He panted too, and grabbing me by the hips, he flipped us over so that I was lying on the sofa.

"I stained you," he looked at my hand and stomach and then kissed my hand. I think I nodded stupidly. "I'm going to go get something…so you can wipe it off…"

"No, no, no…" I pulled him towards me and kissed him. "Don't leave…don't leave me here like this." He smiled, stroking my cheek gently. But he pulled away and left the room as naked as when his malevolent mother had brought him into the world.

I cursed him as I watched at him, still panting, with that strange fluid on my skin. I wasn't able to think much further before Peeta's lips landed on mine and my mind went blank. I moaned as I noticed how he passed his hand over my belly, even though there was a paper towel in between our skin. He then wiped my hand and kissed me.

"Where were we?" Another sweet kiss from his lips, "Oh, I remember now…you had to, no,  _I_ HAD to undress you," I laughed, biting my lip.

"Do you know how crazy that gesture makes me?" He kissed me again, fiercely, stroking my lips with his tongue before setting out to find mine as I parted my mouth open.

I smiled; he didn't know what his smile and his kisses did to me, those kisses made my intimacy pound along with my heart, and it became faster and faster every time. He placed his hand on my hips and pulled my pants down slowly, revealing my white panties, then my thighs, until at last they disappeared from my legs. Peeta's pupils dilated again as he ran his eyes over me, making me feel intimidated.

His hands went back to my hips, and they escalated up to my sides tenderly, monitored by Peeta's gaze and mine. I had only seen him this focused when he painted, when he drew out thousands of colors over a blank canvas, mixing them in perfect harmony and creating one of his wonderful paintings. Now, as I looked at him, I realized that this was what he was doing, he was painting me, and he was using me as a canvas to paint millions of caresses on my half-naked body. I shifted over so that he could also touch my back, sitting up in front of him. One of my legs was hanging over the edge of the couch, and the other was resting comfortably over this one. He took advantage of my position so that he could kneel in between them and then kissed me again, this time struggling with the hook of my bra with one hand. He stopped kissing me after a few seconds so that he could concentrate on his struggle.

"Damn it…how do you unhook this…" I laughed as I bit his lip and then helped him undo it with a rapid movement.

"It's not that difficult…" He frowned at me, which made me laugh even more as I kissed him on the cheek. "Continue…"

He nodded as his hands stopped at my forearms, which he tickled with his fingers, and then continued to stroke my arms up until he reached my shoulders, which he massaged smoothly. He wrapped his fingers around the straps and slid them down slowly from the garment that was covering my small breasts. He gasped and exhaled as he saw me, and I felt tempted to cover myself with my arms. But I didn't do it; I clenched my fists for a second and tried to relax. Peeta placed his hands over my waist and he looked at them as if he were scanning them. His gazes were intimidating me and making me feel extremely uncomfortable.

"Are they not the way you expected?"

"They're even better…." I didn't let myself blush at his assertion; instead I gave him a sweet kiss on the lips. Then, without understanding why, I picked up one of his hands and placed it over my left breast. My nipple hardened even more against his touch, and the skin around that zone sent electric jolts towards my abdomen, causing me to emit an almost imperceptible moan. I gasped when the boy with the bread kneaded it a little, as if it were one of his buns.

"Peeta…" I susurrate, dragging every letter as he began to repeat the same motion with my other breast.

"Hmmmmmm…?"

"Keep going…"

He nodded, and although it seemed that he had to think about it too much, he continued to descend down my sides until he returned to the waistband of my panties. I lay back again on the sofa so that I could make it easier for him. He toyed with the elastic again, and I shifted uncomfortably; I wanted him to end this torture.

"They're really wet…" I blushed, this time heavily.

"Is that bad?" He shook his head, passing a finger over my intimacy, pressing over the part that he had just been stroking a few minutes ago. I arched my back in response, and he took advantage of this to kiss my navel. I smiled, stroking his tangled hair, and he smiled back.

Finally, he grabbed the edges of the cotton cloth and began descending it as he kept touching me. It descended down my thighs just like my pants had done before. I pressed my legs together and lifted them over him, and the garment passed through my ankles and over my feet, and then I adjusted my legs as they had been before, with Peeta in between them.

…

* * *

__

**Teaser:**

_[…] I slowly stopped moving, still hugging Peeta with my face pressed against his neck. Embarrassment. Shame made its presence inside my melted brain, and I was incapable of meeting his eyes, even though we had just looked at each other a few minutes ago, when I had moved in that aberrant manner […]_


	11. Chapter 11

This is it. My world has been condensed to this couch. To Peeta looking at me. Or better said, to Peeta looking at my sex, at the rosy folds and the line that parted them. My breathing accelerated as I suddenly became aware of the situation, both of us naked and aroused. I looked at him as he looked at me, his eyes fixed on the part of my anatomy that was glistening with the fluid that was seeping out of it.

"Peeta…it's….uncomfortable…"

"Huh?"

But even then I had to admit that part of me enjoyed it when he looked at me like this, the tingling in my stomach reminded me of it, a tingling that had begun when the cotton cloth had stopped touching my skin. I smiled when he glanced at me in confusion. His face reminded me of a child's in front of its huge birthday cake. And although it was true that it made me uncomfortable, I had no intention of moving away or covering myself. I remained in that same position, showing him every single corner of my being.

A few minutes passed in which both of us gazed at each other's bodies in comfortable silence, and then Peeta passed a finger through my folds again, making me arch my back once more as I flooded the living room with my moans. He smirked as he did it again; tearing a new wail out of me, my heart was pounding harder and my breathing accelerated all over again.

I pulled him closer, grasping his neck and kissing him the way we had before; I played with his tongue, sucked it, bit it, and panted against his swollen lips. I held my body against his, and our sexes brushed. I noticed how Peeta shuddered and moaned, he moaned huskily.

"Should we go to the bedroom? It'll be more comfortable," I nodded without thinking, panting as I kissed him and bit his lips.

But I didn't move, I remained stationary as I grasped his tufts of hair tightly, pressing his face against mine, kissing him as if it were the last time.

I settled better against his body, trying to mold into him, and his penis brushed against the part of my intimacy that he had discovered earlier. I moaned loudly, separating my lips from him and clenching my eyes tightly. After I recovered from that electric shock, I looked into his eyes. I must confess that I was frightened by what I saw in them, they seemed full of intensity, his pupils dilated to the point that I could hardly see his blue irises. But it was an exciting fear, not like the fear that I felt when I knew that he was having an attack, I knew now that I wasn't going to stop him. And if he did have one, I didn't care, I wanted to keep feeling him this way.

It was in this way as I looked into his darkened eyes that I moved my hips like I had done before, brushing against him again, ripping another moan out of my throat that was accompanied by one from Peeta's throat. He narrowed his eyes slightly, and his hands flew to my ass as he squeezed it, pressing me even closer to him. I thrust my hips up again, initiating a new frottage, a new moan from each of us. I smiled as my breathing became more and more jagged, coming in sync with the movement of my hips, which had acquired a mind of their own as they moved against Peeta's member, rubbing it against me. It seemed as if he were intending to rip my rear with his hands; he was holding it so tightly. I followed his frantic movements, which were making the same pattern that he had done a few minutes ago against my hand. Up and down, up and down. My crotch ran against the entirety of his length, lubricating it with my own fluids. I was panting in exhaustion, but Peeta's eyes impelled me to keep going. After a few minutes, he dug his nails into my bottom, and that viscous liquid smeared my abdomen again.

"Don't stop…"

He was crazy if the thought that I was going to stop now. Now that I was starting to feel the fire in my lower belly, I noticed how the heat began to gather; my drowned moans had turned into embarrassing screams, and I dug my head into Peeta's neck, exploding as I bit his strong neck. I was the Girl on Fire again.

I slowly stopped moving, still hugging Peeta with my face pressed against his neck. Embarrassment. Shame made its presence inside my melted brain, and I was incapable of meeting his eyes, even though we had just looked at each other a few minutes ago, when I had moved in that aberrant manner. I hadn't even bothered to think, I just acted out of impulse. I had never been so impulsive. I could still remember my first kiss and how hard it had been for me to take that step…and now…I was humping naked against him. I even had an orgasm, as he had called it, and it was even more intense than the first.

I didn't recognize myself; I didn't recognize my actions or my feelings.

"I don't know what happened to me…" I was extremely apologetic. My lips brushed against the skin on his neck, and I noticed that the entire zone bristled. That simple image made me grin slightly.

"You….had an orgasm, Katniss…"

"I meant that that I don't know why I started moving that way or why…" I felt his smile against my hair.

"I'm going to teach you how to lose that shame and stop overanalyzing everything…that little head of yours has to work less." He kissed my head, squeezing my butt again. I gasped, closing my eyes tightly as I clenched my fists. I instinctively bit his neck again. I made him gasp too, "Don't think so much, just do what feels good, beautiful."

I didn't think I was "beautiful," but I loved it when Peeta said it, it made his voice sound soft and sweet and velvety, he dragged each syllable slowly, savoring the word just like he did when he said my name.

I smiled slightly as I saw the mark of my teeth began to bruise him.

"You're going to have this memento for a few days…"

"I'm going to have it forever, Katniss…" There it was, the way that he said my name. Did he do it on purpose?

"I meant that you…um…I sank my teeth into you…."

"I noti-" the doorbell rang, and I cursed the whole world. "-ced."

"Don't open it," There was no one in all of District 12 who would want to bother us more at a time like this than our drunken mentor.

"I wasn't going to," the doorbell rang again; the shrill ringing was beginning to annoy me. I turned to Peeta, truly pouting this time; I was not faking it now, I didn't need to, I really didn't want him to pull away from me, I didn't want to stop feeling the heat of his body.

"I know you two are in there!" Our mentor shouted.

 _Ding-Dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong._  The ringing was exasperating me; it pierced my eardrums and bounced inside my head over and over again. My fury increased, it was reaching unsuspected heights. I clenched my fists tightly, and, cursing my mentor, I pulled away from Peeta's body and headed towards the door in long strides, with the clear intention of kicking his old ass.

But a hand holding on to my arm stopped me. I glared at Peeta as he gripped my forearm firmly.

"Katniss…you're beautiful…and I adore your bare body…but…I want to be the only one who enjoys those magnificent sights…"

I stopped trying to pull away, and Peeta loosened his grip as I covered myself instinctively, Peeta smiled gently, and I understood then that it didn't matter, he had already seen everything visible about me, and I lowered my arms, letting them hang by my sides.

"Get dressed; I'll try to see what he wants…" I nodded as he pulled on his pants, which he already had in his hand.

* * *

_ _

**Teaser:**

_[…] When he nodded at me, I suddenly realized what he was saying, what he was so implicitly proposing. Sex. Making love. Until a few hours ago, I had assumed that such terms and my name would never appear together, much less in my head. My ideas about the future did not include having a partner. They were based on hunting and surviving, period. […]_


	12. Chapter 12

I heard Peeta opening the door while I searched for my panties through the clothes that were scattered on the floor. I heard a triumphant chortle and the loud, clumsy sound of boots walking in through the door. It only gave me enough time to pick up Peeta's shirt and toss it on quickly. As soon as the cloth covered my rear, I heard Peeta's ragged, rapid breathing behind me, followed by a sigh of relief, which I suppose came from seeing that my body was covered up. You couldn't really see anything, but the shirt only covered what was necessary; it only reached the top of my legs, and if I raised my arms, I would be completely exposed.

Haymitch kept laughing like a maniac, patting Peeta on the back, occasionally pronouncing a "well done, boy." His snickers bothered and embarrassed me at the same time, it was obviously not what it looked like, and since I wasn't leaving much to the imagination, I guessed that our mentor was assuming something that wasn't true. Peeta and I had not made love, or at least not yet, and if he hadn't interrupted we would be…I shook my head and scattered those thoughts away.

"Go away, Haymitch!" I spat. But he only laughed harder.

"It's not what it looks like…" Peeta murmured, his cheeks were burning red, and his gaze was directed down at the floor, and that bothered me even more; I couldn't stand to see my boy with the bread like this because of that idiotic drunk.

"Haymitch, leave now unless you want me to shoot you with an arrow," I threatened as he cackled even harder.

"Unfortunately sweetheart, you and I both know that you don't have your bow here."

"Lucky you," I mumbled.

I stood closer to Peeta, taking his hand so that he would look at me. He smiled, and I smiled back. But his smile faded when we saw Haymitch bend down and pick something up from the floor.

"White and virginal…beautiful…" he clucked his tongue. "Although they're not so virginal anymore…" he looked me up and down.

"Although It's none of your business, she's still a virgin," Peeta growled at him, clenching his jaw and tightening his fists. His self-control wasn't going to last much longer. Peeta was a gentleman, but his patience wasn't infinite.

I approached Haymitch and tore my underwear away from him, and he kept laughing without believing Peeta; sometimes he was just unbearable, especially when he got so drunk. Today was one of those days, his breath reeked of alcohol, and he stumbled around comically. He slurred his vowels and tripped over his tongue.

"Why did you come?" As I said this, I tugged down at the shirt to cover my legs; I was beginning to feel embarrassed about the situation.

"I need Sae…"

"If you need alcohol, you will need to go to her house; you know that Sae no longer comes here, at least not as often… Peeta takes care of me now…" I stuttered, wishing that he would just leave.

"Oh, he takes care of you, huh?" he winked at Peeta, and I couldn't stand it anymore; I pushed him away with all of my strength, trying to kick him out of the house.

"Get…out…" after a few seconds of shoving, we were finally able to open the door and throw him out.

I doubted that he had come here looking for Sae, he knew perfectly well that it had been months since she had stopped by to cook or clean for me. That was something that Peeta and I took care of now, I was even learning how to cook every once in a while, which was an achievement for me and a challenge for Peeta. What if he had heard me screaming and decided to come and bother us? It sounded very much like him; he had a twisted mind, even though there were times when he acted like a child.

"He probably heard us, didn't he?" I was starting to feel embarrassed again as I sat on the sofa.

"You scream a lot, Katniss," and there it was; a simple statement like that could make me bright red, "I had no idea you were like that."

"Is that bad?" I muttered, gritting my teeth angrily, "I'll try not to do it," I fixed my gaze at the edge of the rug; I didn't know that there was something wrong with that.

"Of course not…I don't care if he hears us…I want you to moan and scream as you wish. I want you to be free," he smiled shyly as he sat beside me. "I really like it when you scream."

I blinked like an idiot and then kissed him again, but this time it wasn't one of those crazy passionate ones, no, now we kissed sweetly and held each other. But this didn't stop Peeta from lowering one of his hands, tracing the line of my column before resting his hand on one of my bare butt cheeks. The contact of his skin against my naked one made me gasp, and I kissed him harder, increasing the rhythm and movement of my lips as I searched for his tongue and stroked it as it played with mine. When he felt my tongue slip inside his mouth, Peeta squeezed me even more, pressing me closer to him; I was sure that he would be ready for action in a few minutes. I swung one of my legs over of his and straddled him again, sitting on his knees.

"Where did you want us to go before that crazy drunk interrupted us…?" I murmured erratically against his lips while he tried to kiss me again, and I pulled away, only allowing our lips to brush. I knew that I was torturing him, but knowing that he wanted more from me drove me crazy.

"You know exactly where," he pressed me firmly against him, holding the back of my neck so that I wouldn't pull away, kissing me for a few seconds, biting my lips, and leaving them even more swollen.

"Shall we go?"

When he nodded at me, I suddenly realized what he was saying, what he was so implicitly proposing. Sex. Making love. Until a few hours ago, I had assumed that such terms and my name would never appear together, much less in my head. My ideas about the future did not include having a partner. They were based on hunting and surviving, period. There was nothing more, just feeding my family, protecting them. But now I had no family to feed, now it was only us two, the girl on fire and the boy with the bread. It was a strange combination, we were a strange couple; we were too different, extremely distinct, but we needed each other, and right here, right now, with him only wearing his sweats, and me wearing nothing but his shirt, our need was to undress and mold into one.

There was no going back, this was meant to be.

I slowly pulled away from Peeta, standing up. Being away from him pained me again, it made me feel cold. When he stood up, I could see the stain of my own excitement on his pants, a wet stain that gave away my state and made me feel ashamed. I knew that he had noticed, because a small smile tugged at his lips as he glanced down. I then realized that he liked that, and embarrassment returned to my cheeks for the umpteenth time. But I had to admit that I felt proud noticing his reactions, even if they were nearly imperceptible.

"My shirt fits you terribly well," I looked at him without catching his sarcasm; it was huge on me, several sizes bigger than what I normally wore, and it was in men's size. Either he was definitely crazy, or his taste in fashion was worse than mine.

"It's enormous…wide and long…"

"That's what's so beautiful about it….what's important is that you're wearing something mine and that there's nothing underneath it," I smiled even though I still didn't get it; I didn't want to seem dumb.

"I just like the fact that it smells like you," I sniffed it, and the intoxicating smell of Peeta hit my nose like a beautiful symphony. His smile became even wider.

"And what do I smell like?" I blushed at the question; I hadn't expected to define it.

"You mostly smell like bread, freshly baked bread, the kind that is still warm and tastes heavenly, and like chocolate, hot sweet chocolate. And sometimes you even smell like strawberries or vanilla, if you were baking cakes that day. You have a delicious, pleasant scent."

I took his hand and led him up the stairs to the upper floor. I wanted today to be our "day of discoveries." I still had many things to learn, and he still had many things to teach me.

…

* * *

_**Teaser:** _

_[…] "Don't torture me…this is what you wanted, isn't it?" I murmured._

" _It is what I wanted, yes…but…you want it too…"_

" _Well now I want more…" I didn't even think about it. It wasn't proper of me to say that. I wanted more from him. What was happening to me? […]_


	13. Chapter 13

He held my hand tightly as we walked towards the bedroom, and I was starting to feel like I was in a dream. This couldn't be happening, I couldn't be allowing Peeta and I to end up doing  _it._  I was giving myself completely without any restraints, and this wasn't like me. I shook my head slightly to get those absurd thoughts out of my head. Damn it, it was what my body had been begging and screaming for all of these weeks, feeling those pleasurable caresses, melting in his strong arms, drowning in his kisses. How could I possibly doubt all of these magnificent sensations? I wasn't going to regret this; I wasn't going to let that happen. I was starting to like it, and I wanted to go all the way. I wanted to enjoy Peeta without any reserve…

I came back to reality as I felt his arm right before I placed my foot on the first step. He sank his face into my hair and kissed my neck. He then parted the curtain that was impeding him from brushing my skin and kissed it again. I was crazy. Regret feeling his ragged breathing against my ear? Regret the heat in my navel? The throbbing in between my legs? I could definitely say that I must be mentally unstable.

When we reached the bedroom, I sat on the bed and looked at him nervously. He, however, remained standing, gazing back at me with a crooked smile on his lips. He remained there for a long time, just looking at me, biting his lip every once in a while, passing a hand through his hair and contemplating.

"Peeta…what's wrong? What are you thinking?"

"That…you can't even imagine, how long I've been wishing for this moment…" I smiled at his comment and pat the bed so that he could sit by me. He hesitated a bit, but he did it, taking one of my hands and interlacing it with his.

"And how long is that?"

"Too long…"

"That answer won't do, Peeta," I kissed him softly on the lips. "How much time?" He sighed, and then kissed me again.

"You're going to think I'm a pervert…" I chuckled softly. "Do you remember…that…school dance we had, to celebrate Ms. Mist's 25th anniversary as our principal? They made us dress formally like we did for the reaping…and…celebrate it…"

"How could I forget," I remembered alright, we were fourteen years old, and I had grown so much that year that the dress I wore for the reaping the year before that was useless, so my mother had to alter one of hers from when she didn't live in the Seam. Although the dress was the right length, my body was thinner than my mother's, so she had to add cloth here and there so that I would look good. When it was ready and I looked into the mirror, I hated the result, not because it didn't fit or because I was ugly, but because it wasn't me. That precious lacy silk dress with its black ribbon didn't go with me, it was useless for hunting; I couldn't get dirt all over myself with that on.

"Right…well when I saw you…with that dress…made of lace…I…saw you differently…I was in love…yes…but…with that dress…I saw your curves…and I wanted to…undress you…ever since then…" he was blushing, and I smiled and kissed him on the cheek, caressing his nose.

"We were just kids…all I thought about was putting food on the table."

"Katniss…I'm sorry," he kissed me. It was in that moment that I realized that my comment had made him feel guilty.

"Peeta…no…I didn't want you to feel bad…it's just that…"I sighed. "Until the games…I had never thought about….those things…kisses…feelings and stuff…you've made me change my ways."

He lifted my face by holding my chin up and kissed me sweetly, and as compensation, I increased the movement of my lips, which soon moved frantically against his. I panted, feeling the heat in my core as I traced Peeta's chest, drawing patterns on it with my fingers. I noticed how he held back a moan, and I abandoned his lips to redirect myself to his neck. I kissed his chin first, and then the edge of his jaw, he had a light beard shadow that scratched my lips, but the sensation only made me want to keep going. I continued down his neck as I concentrated on it. I kissed him sweetly and then steadily faster, sucking it lightly. Soon, my teeth took over as they freely roamed across his skin. They went down to his shoulders while my fingers dug into the flesh on his sides. It was then that I noticed that we were no longer lying down, but Peeta was thrown on the bed as I leaned over him. I decided to adjust myself, and since the position on the sofa seemed like the most comfortable, I crossed a leg over his body, sitting on his stomach. I continued kissing down his chest as my hands played with the waist on Peeta's pants; it was elastic, which made it easy to tell what was beneath it. And that was where all of Peeta's arousal was concentrated.

Peeta quickly switched our positions and laid me across the bed. He was panting and excited, that I could see perfectly, I would have to be blind not to see it. He kissed me, resting some of his weight on me, pressing his pelvis against mine as I felt him against my bare intimacy again. I moaned. He smiled, showing me his perfect teeth, and then kept kissing me passionately as he moved, probably on purpose, which made me frown uncomfortably; he was torturing me. He kissed me again as he smiled and ran his hand across my thigh gently, causing my skin to be filled with goose bumps again.

"You're so soft, Katniss…"

I stopped moving my tongue inside his mouth when his hand touched the inside of my thigh, brushing the part between my legs. I arched my back as much as I could with Peeta's weight over me, I moved my hips, seeking a more effective touch, but he removed his hand from my crotch, resting it on the outside of my thigh and smiled even more; he was enjoying seeing me like this.

"Don't torture me…this is what you wanted, isn't it?" I murmured.

"It is what I wanted, yes…but…you want it too…"

"Well now I want more…" I didn't even think about it. It wasn't proper of me to say that. I wanted more from him. What was happening to me?

I knew that these three simple words really hit Peeta; the way that he kissed me afterwards was very different from the rest, even more so than the ones we had just given to pleasure each other. His kiss was passionate, full of fierceness; he snuck his hands underneath me and squeezed my ass tightly, leaving all of his weight over me. My moan was drowned by his mouth and his by mine; I felt his erection against me, pressing hard into my abdomen.

A few seconds later, my right hand snuck in between us, looking for his hardness, palming it and stroking it, making its owner release a loud, hoarse moan. But what he did next surprised me. He grabbed my wrist and forced me to abandon my games, placing it over my head. When my other hand tried to continue the works of its companion, Peeta repeated the same procedure, holding both of my wrists over us.

I looked at him uncomprehendingly, but he smiled at me and kissed me as if his life depended on it.

"Look."

I looked into his eyes; the situation was so strange that it was beginning to frighten me. Him panting over me with the beat of my own breaths, him wearing only his sweatpants, me wearing only his shirt, him gripping my hands, holding me down. I bit his chin, and he allowed the air from his lungs to escape, closing his eyes for a second. He then looked at me again. His pupils were dilated again, so much that they were frightening. His eyes were completely black.

I tried to release myself, but he was stronger than me, so I gave up quickly, but what I did manage to do was escape from the kiss that he began to give me a few seconds ago. I looked at him confused, was he having one of his attacks? Would everything end here? I was completely defenseless, breathless, aroused, and practically naked. If something happened, whatever it was, I had all of the odds against my favor. And yet despite all this, he rubbed his nose against mine and kissed me a gently kiss on the lips, smiling.

"You're so beautiful…like this…for me…" I tried to let go again, but he gripped me even tighter.

"Do you trust me, Katniss?" It took me a few seconds to answer him, I wasn't sure if this would end well. The truth was that I was terrified.

He managed to hold on to both of my wrists with one hand, while the other one ran slowly down my body, centering the caresses on my abdomen. A few seconds later, his fingers touched that spot that made me scream and turn. And I did, I gasped out a drowned cry, and I twisted and lifted my hips. His deft fingers began to play in that place, tracing millions of rapid circles, and then rubbing up and down, only to return to the circles again, and a few seconds later I felt a pressure that made me yell, this time out of surprise.

"Peeta…"

"Relax," I could feel that pressure again, and I realized that he was trying to enter me with his forefinger. I nodded, but knowing what was about to happen made me tighten my core, and his finger found my barrier again. I was in shock. If only his finger, which was about a fifth of the girth of his member, wouldn't enter, how was Peeta going to make love to me? I panted and closed my eyes tightly, trying to think of something else, trying to relax, but without success, as I could see Peeta's frustrated attempts.

"Peeta…stop…you're… you're hurting me…" I gasped, panting as I held back the tears coming out of my eyes.

"This is normal…you're nervous…"

"Have you done this before?" I cried out, leaving him gaping as he shook his head once. "Then you don't know if this is normal!"

I closed my eyes, frustrated, cursing myself, not because of me but because of Peeta, I was disappointing him, as I had done many times before. The phrase that my mentor had given me pounded in my memory like a punch in the stomach. " _You could live a hundred lifetimes and not deserve him, you know."_  I would never deserve him…neither his love nor his body. He didn't deserve to be with someone who couldn't give him what he wanted. Even he had admitted that he had been waiting for this for years, and it seemed that I couldn't give him it to him.

His hand let go of my wrists and stroked my hair tenderly. The hand that had been struggling to enter me and failed rested over me, cupping me completely, leaving me with a pleasant tingling just for the sake of it.

"Calm down…" he soothed, rubbing his nose against mine.

"I'm sorry."

"Shh."

And then he kissed me, again with the sweet kisses, without lust, this kiss was just like our goodnight kisses, those that he gave me before hugging me so that I could use him as a pillow. He kept kissing me, moving his tongue and stroking mine slowly, softly, languidly. I don't know how long he kissed me like this, it could have been seconds, minutes, or even hours, but I completely lost concept of time. I bit his lip and arched my back when I felt that pressure against my intimacy again, but this time it didn't hurt, I noticed how his something, his finger, entered me and lost itself in my interior. I moaned as I looked into his eyes, his smile was so wide that I was afraid that it wasn't real. I smiled as well, even though my breathing had turned erratic.

"You just need to stop thinking about what's going to happen…let go…"

"I'm letting go…"

"You're such a bad liar, Katniss…" he kissed me again, but this time, I made his kiss be like the once from before, fiercer.

I was aroused again, or at least if you could even use the word "again," since I didn't think I had ever stopped. I wrapped my hands around his neck, kissing him, panting, but my lips froze when I felt his finger do the opposite movement that it had done a few seconds ago so that it could come out of me. I panicked; I didn't want to stop feeling him.

"No…" I couldn't say anything more because he dug his finger inside me again. His smile brushed my lips when a moan abandoned my mouth.

"No?" He repeated his movement. He took it out completely and entered it again. I bit his smile, winded.

His moan mixed with mine as he kept entering and leaving. And then again, and again. He began moving his finger faster and faster inside me, making me pant and moan and arch my back. I began to move my hips slightly, following the dance of his finger. Peeta kept kissing me passionately, panting as well; I supposed that he liked what he was doing to me. His face showed satisfaction and his eyes darkened again, I was starting to like them like this, his dilated pupils showed his excitement.

Soon, my boy with the bread stopped kissing me and centered his concentration on observing how his finger came in and out of me; I closed my eyes and let him continue, my hands fastening into the sheets and my moans echoing around the bedroom. His pinky finger traveled to that spot that Peeta knew how to touch so well, and he rubbed it while his finger kept thrusting in and out of me. I grit my teeth and arched my back again, making an almost impossible form, he would kill me with pleasure, but it would be the best death in the world. He lifted my shirt with his free hand, uncovering my breasts. He kneaded one of them, and then descended down to lick the rosy bud, which was as hard as his crotch. A cry of surprise escaped in between my moans. He looked at me and smiled and then he passed his tongue over my nipple again. The electric charge met with the fire in my belly that ignited thanks to Peeta's work. He rolled that part of my anatomy with his tongue, and I felt him suck it, and the electric current intensified, the fire became even larger, and in two seconds, it exploded. The drowned, hoarse cry that escaped from my lips was much more intense than the ones from before. My body convulsed into waves of fire that ran through my veins, reaching to the edge of my toes. When the fire was quenched, I stayed still, beaten and breathless as I opened my eyes to see him smiling sweetly while he moved his fingers leisurely.

He placed a kiss on my lips, too sweet, too short.

"You're exhausted…" I nodded dumbly even though he didn't need to say it, it was easy to see; my chest rose and descended rapidly as my lungs sought desperately for more air. My heart was pounding hard, and my articulations barely responded.

"Rest…I'm going to make dinner."

"Hmm?" I turned towards the window; the sun was at its lowest point, disappearing beneath the mountains. I hadn't even noticed, apparently we had spent the entire afternoon entertaining ourselves. "No…you…"

"I'm fine," he lowered my shirt and left my side, which caused me to groan in protest, but I didn't have strength to protest more than that. "I'll let you know when everything is ready."

I nodded even though I was falling asleep without being able to help it, I noticed how he covered me with a blanket, but I was no longer awake when he left the room.

* * *

 

**Teaser:**

" _Well?"_

" _I don't know how to do_ **that** _."_

" _That? Ugh…you haven't screwed him yet?_

" _What?"_

" _I mean have you slept with him yet..."_

" _We sleep together every night…" she cut me off, laughing._


	14. Chapter 14

The bright sunlight filtering in through the window woke me up. Wait a minute, bright light? The last thing I remembered was that it was getting dark. I closed my eyes and yawned as I stretched on the bed. I turned to see Peeta on the other side of the bed, but there was no one there. I sighed. I remembered that I had his shirt on and I sniffed it. Fresh bread and chocolate, his sweat, which instead of repulsing me only pleased me. Images flashed through my mind of the night before. I remembered his kisses and touches, his finger inside of me. Damn it…I was blushing again. I recalled what he had caused inside me, and I felt those familiar goose bumps again.

I got up, noticing that my joints were a bit stiff and a few of my muscles were sore. God…it had been ages since I'd felt this way, and Peeta's make-out sessions were doing this to me. I headed towards the dresser and shifted through my drawer looking for some panties. There were plenty of these from the Capitol as well, transparent lingerie that gave off the impression of being uncomfortable. Maybe later…I could wear one of them…Peeta would like it…I was sure he would because of the picture of the woman on the magazine cover. Had he learned everything he had done to me yesterday from it? If so, then at least it had been useful. His hands had touched me so expertly, ripping moans out of me…and mine had been insecure…but he had apparently enjoyed it…even though he didn't let me touch him that last time. Damn. Doubt attacked me like a punch to the chest. Perhaps I should ask him.

I picked up the first pair of panties I saw and noticed that they were normal, like the ones I usually wore, plain, without any designs, weird cloth, or see-through material; these were a pale pink color. I put them on. I braided my hair without looking in the mirror and went downstairs to the kitchen, assuming that Peeta was making breakfast. But there was no one there. I sighed. Where had he gone? I approached the table to pick up the piece of paper on it and read it.

_I went to see how the bakery was doing. Kisses. Peeta_

He had drawn a heart right beside the word "kisses." I grinned stupidly. But I was mad at him, he had left without saying goodbye, he could have woken me up, no? Usually, when he went out, he would wake me up so that I wouldn't worry. The one who usually left without saying anything, without even leaving a note, was me. I felt like going hunting, but then I remembered my sore muscles and realized that it probably wasn't a good idea.

I decided to have some breakfast, heating up a glass of milk and devouring one of Peeta's chocolate muffins. When I finished, I cleaned up my mess and went upstairs to shower, maybe a bath would get rid of the absurd thoughts I was having lately. I went into the bathroom, and even though I didn't want to, I discarded Peeta's shirt, and then the panties I had just put on. I looked in the mirror and gasped. Peeta was very strong and he had been very excited yesterday. My hips were marked with his fingers; you could see the purple marks perfectly. I pressed on one of them, and it hurt a little bit, but I smiled. I wasn't mad about having them. My neck and shoulders were also dotted with tiny bite marks here and there. The most incredible thing about it was that I hadn't even noticed what he had done. Had I been that intoxicated by his kisses?

I sighed and got in the shower, washing my conscience, enjoying the hot water. When I finished, I wrapped myself up in a towel and went to get my clothes. When I opened my underwear drawer, I saw the lingerie sets again. Undergarments that were "sexy," as my dear Cinna would have called them in his day. Although I felt some doubt, I picked up one of the sets; it was more or less plain, the lace on the panties was limited to the waistband, and the one on the bra to the top edge of the cups, but at least it was an intense black color. I then chose a red tank top and short black pants for my clothes. I felt strange in this clothing, but I looked good. Peeta would like it, I was sure of it; he had always looked at me differently whenever I used Capitol clothing, those that showed off more skin than necessary.

I went downstairs to the living room, intent on picking up a book to pass the time, discarding the one from yesterday completely since it had been so boring. I picked up one that looked interesting, but just as I was about to sit down on the sofa, the phone caught my attention. I dialed the number almost without thinking; she was the only person open enough to talk about something like this.

_Ring, ring, ring, ring!_

"Hello?"

"Hey…"

"Brainless!"

"Hi Johanna, I'm glad to hear from you too," maybe it had been a bad idea to call her, since she laughed.

"Hey, you know I'm happy to hear from you…"

"All right, well…" I sighed. How was I going to bring up the topic?

"Is there something wrong?"

"Uh…" I bit my lip. "No…well…yes…it's…iffy to talk about…"

"Shoot, beautiful."

"I…wanted to know…if…you…well…if…you could help me."

"With what?" I took in some air.

"Peeta…"

"Uh-oh…trouble in paradise?"

"No…no…on the contrary, everything is going well…too well…"

"Well?"

"I don't know how to do  _ **that**_."

"That? Ugh…you haven't screwed him yet?"

"What?"

"I mean have you slept with him yet..."

"We sleep together every night…" she cut me off, laughing.

"I meant have you had intercourse," she kept on cackling as my cheeks turned red, and I was grateful that this conversion was over the phone.

"Not really…" I don't know why, but I could imagine her grinning.

"Not really, huh…I thought that during the Victory Tour…you…"

"We lied."

"Have you at least gotten off?"

"Huh?"

"Have you had an orgasm?"

"Yes…yes…several…"

"And him?"

"Him too…" I sighed, I was dying of embarrassment, and she was laughing, she seemed to be having a great time, "Johanna, please…this is serious…I…he seems to know what he's doing…and I…"

"Katniss, you just need to let yourself go, do what your body tells you to do, and I'm sure that your body is begging you to fuck him, dead god, you're a teenager, have a little fun!" I blushed even more at her words, sighing; it was so easy for her to say…

"I heard things at school…like…that it hurt…and you bleed…surely that's unpleasant…"

"That doesn't happen all the time, and if it does, it's only for a second…damn it, Katniss, WAKE UP! You must have Peeta climbing over the walls, how long have you been together? More than two years, and that poor boy must be desperate to stick it in you."

"Ugh…" I couldn't even say anything else, her brazen words were scaring me, calling her had definitely been a bad idea… "Yes…yes…I…know…I just wanted to know…what to do…so I won't tense…"

"Focus on the pleasure and on giving him pleasure, don't rush, just let everything flow, don't start thinking, 'He's going to put it in, he's going to tear me up all the way to my throat,' because that's only going to make it hurt more and it won't be fun, honey."

"Aha…." She wasn't clarifying anything; I already knew all of that…sort of…she sighed.

"Just let go, sweetheart…and use protection…"

"Protection?"

"Do you want to have a kid, Brainless?" I shook my head even though I knew that she couldn't see me. "I'll take that as a no. Buy some pills…just in case…you know how they work, right?"

"I have to take them right before  _that_ ," shit, I hadn't thought of that. Birth-control methods…we almost did it yesterday without taking any precautions…one thing was having intercourse and another thing was having kids, I absolutely refused to do that. I didn't want kids; there was no way I would allow that.

"Have I helped you out?"

"I little bit…but I still have the same concerns as before…"

"Ugh, you're just going to have to learn like the rest of us, just practice, there's no secret to it no matter how much I tell you." I sighed.

"All right…thanks, Johanna…"

"You're welcome Brainless, bye…" she hung up on me before I could reply.

Damn it, she had made fun of me and to make things worse she had hardly helped me any. At least she had reminded me to buy the almost magical pills. You had to take one right before having intercourse, or even hours prior to it, and it kept you safe from unwanted pregnancies. It was a great invention, and even though I knew that there were things like it before the Dark Days, these were considerably better. They couldn't possibly fail. That's what I liked about it, there were no accidents.

I put away the book I had just picked up, arranged my hair in a way that wouldn't show the marks Peeta had left on me, and left the house to go to the pharmacy that we had in the district. I could now allow myself to buy these pills, since medicine had now been made more accessible to everyone, and my district was in charge of making them, so I knew that we had that advantage.

I arrived at the pharmacy and bought the pills without any problems, save for my embarrassment for such things. Since I was close to the bakery, I approached it to see if Peeta was still there; I missed him already. One thing was being away from him while I was hunting and another thing was missing him while I was at home. Besides, ever since yesterday, the urging need to have his heat had become more and more intense, so much that I felt like I was almost drowning, and I had only been away from him for a few hours.

I walked the two blocks that separated the pharmacy from the bakery as fast as I could, and when I reached the corner, he was right there. My boy with the bread, shirtless and sweaty, just like yesterday. His skin was covered in tiny beads of sweat, especially his back, his strong and muscular back, but so soft at the same time…the fact that he didn't have a shirt on also meant that I could see that perfect line of blonde hair that descended down his bellybutton until disappearing beneath his pants. That trail that I had adored last night. I slight tingling ran down my in intimacy before I could help it. "Ugh, control yourself, Katniss," I reminded myself, was I losing it, or what? I made sure that my hair was still covering my neck, and I kept walking and smiled, he still hadn't seen me, he was carrying a heavy sack of cement to take it towards the strange machinery that mixed it in with water.

"You're still strong," he gasped when he heard me, and I chuckled softly.

"Katniss…" I could see him blush a little, how adorable, "What are you doing here?"

"I missed you," I bit my bottom lip, remembering what he had told me last night, "You didn't tell me you were leaving…"

"I left you a note…"

"It wasn't enough…" I faked a pout; I loved seeing Peeta's reaction. He leaned in to kiss me, but stopped an inch away from my face.

"What?"

"They're looking at us…" I looked around, and sure enough, all of the workers refused to take their eyes away from us.

"Remember that all of Panem has seen us kiss dozens of times, Peeta…" I sighed, scooting away from him, "Can I help with something?"

"No, it's okay…" I sighed again, he kept evading me. Maybe I shouldn't have come. "I don't want you to get dirty…you look beautiful in those clothes," and there was that blush on my cheeks again.

"Thanks…" I managed to stutter, although I stopped myself from admitting that I had dressed this way to impress him.

"We love seeing pretty girls dressed so nicely around here!" yelled one of the workers, Drake I think was his name. Peeta glared at him. I tugged on the bottom of my pants anxiously. Damn it, there was a reason why I didn't dress like this, I hated feeling like a piece of meat or a mannequin, that's how I had felt in those Capitol dresses. But I had stupidly wanted to look pretty for Peeta, even though he had seen me in my worst moments.

"Go home, Katniss…" Peeta murmured; he seemed upset by the guy's comment. I nodded, there was nothing else I could do, and my clothes were honestly not helping much, besides, I was still sore. I couldn't imagine how my body would cope the day something actually happened between us…

I waited for him to kiss me, but he didn't, he just brushed my cheek with his fingers and then walked away. I went back home kind of mad; I had gone out to spend time with him and had returned alone. Damned Peeta…I had even worn those uncomfortable undergarments that he probably liked. I thought about going hunting again, thinking it would clear my head, but discarded the idea again when my thighs protested as I climbed the two stairs on the front porch. Damn it, I was even sore because of him…although I honestly hoped that all of my soreness from now on would come from activities like the ones that had happened yesterday.

I entered the house reminiscing on last night's events. His kisses, his touches, his tongue…his finger entering me. I was starting to get hot. Even though we hadn't gone all the way, it was more than I had imagined I would ever go with a guy. I had never imagined that someone would make me yell and moan in such an embarrassing manner, I would never let anybody see me like this. But yesterday's events had happened so naturally…I just let go and did what I pleased. Like when I began to rub our intimacies together, I had no idea what I was doing, but my body asked for it and I liked it. I did what Johanna had suggested, I had let go before I had even talked to her. Maybe I wouldn't need the book that I was hiding in the closet…but it would remain there just in case.

To eliminate those thoughts from my head, I started making food, even though it was early, but I was going to cook something more elaborate than usual, so that I would be entertained. I could only hope that the kitchen wouldn't burn down and that the food would turn out edible. I began preparing the vegetables while I sang, and soon my luxurious thoughts disappeared, as well as the slight anger I felt because Peeta hadn't come home with me.

I was in the kitchen for hours, I was honestly starting to like cooking, even though I left the baking to Peeta since he was the expert, I always burned it or would leave bits of flour inside the dough. A few hours later, I took the goose stew with tubers out of the fire; all I needed to do was make the forest sprout salad, I hoped that Peeta wouldn't take long so that the food wouldn't get cold. I kept on singing, it had been a long time since I had done it, but today I had reasons to sing, no? Whatever it was that Peeta and I had, it had just taken one step ahead, and it was a big step for me.

When I turned around, I saw him and jumped and then stopped singing. I instantly blushed. Would I ever stop blushing when I was with him? I looked like an idiot…

"I love hearing you sing…you have a lovely voice."

"I don't like it when people hear me…" I looked away, fixing my gaze on one of the floor tiles.

"You used to like it…" I sighed.

"People change…"

"Well I would like it if that changed again…I love the melodies that come out of your mouth…almost as much as…" he blushed. Wow, I had gotten to him, and I blushed again too.

"I think you should start setting the table…" if we kept going with this conversation, who knew what would happen.

He set the table and we sat down to eat in comfortable silence, save for the soft grunts of satisfaction coming from Peeta while he ate. When we finished, Peeta grunted again, and I laughed softly while I stood to clean up.

"Either you really liked it or you were really hungry…"

"Both, love…it was delicious…and I was starving, I didn't eat dinner last night and today I only had a glass of milk before I left.

"How come you didn't eat dinner?"

"You fell asleep…I tried to wake you up, but it was impossible…"

"And since I didn't eat, you didn't either?" He shook his head, getting up.

"Watching you sleep with my shirt on was much more entertaining."

And just like that, another small phrase of his had made me blush. Damned Peeta…He smiled as he watched me, leaning forward as he placed his lips on mine very gently. He then brushed my bottom lip with his tongue and sought mine when I parted my mouth. We played with our tongues for a while and then he let go, giving me another kiss on the lips, panting. My breathing had turned erratic as well, and he stroked my cheek while I smiled foolishly as I looked into his darkening blue eyes. I perked up when I saw in his eyes that our kiss had given him the same effect as me.

He parted my hair away from my neck so that he could kiss it, and then he backed away with his mouth gaping.

"Did I do that?" I touched the bite marks.

"Who else? And it's not the only one…" I lifted my shirt and showed him the marks of his fingers, and smiled even wider when I saw his face. "You're strong…"

"Katniss…I…damn it, love…I'm sorry, I didn't mean…" He passed his fingers through his hair nervously. "Why didn't you tell me I was hurting you?"

"I was…distracted…" I smiled and took his hands, if he didn't stop, he would rip his hair out, "Peeta, they don't hurt, I'm not mad, and I wasn't mad during that moment, okay?" He looked at me worriedly, and I kissed his hands and then I kissed his lips sweetly several times. "Have you seen your neck? That must hurt," I caressed one of his bruises, the one that was the darkest.

"It doesn't hurt…in fact…I like having it…that way they know that you're with me…especially that Drake…"

"That's embarrassing…no one should know that you and I…oh…my…" I began to flush again. Peeta chuckled. "It's best if we…control our teeth…"

"I don't want you to control them…" I was about to protest, but he kissed me with such tenderness, caressing my neck in such a way that my brain melted and I stopped thinking.

* * *

 

**Teaser:**

_[…] "I was afraid…"_

" _Of what, Peeta? Of me?" I smiled a little._

" _Of you rejecting me…I knew your stance on the subject perfectly…and then there's your innocence…" I sighed._

" _You just saw that I'm not as innocent as you thought…" I snapped. I hated the whole thing about my supposed innocence, I wasn't a child, I had shown him that yesterday, and I would do it again._

" _Don't get mad…" […]_


	15. Chapter 15

Peeta was kissing me, he was kissing me as if he were an angel fallen from the sky. That sweetness he was using contrasted with the roughness and insistence of his kisses from yesterday. And I liked that, because I knew that after what had happened, he continued to be a perfect gentleman. He still kissed me with so much sweetness that sometimes I wondered if he thought that I was going to break. But I had just lit up the match to ignite the fire inside me, and I was not satisfied with that sweet kiss. I pressed my hip against his as I slowly increased the pace of my lips as they moved over his. My hands had a mind of their own as they headed up to tangle on the tufts of his nape. Far from pulling himself apart, Peeta placed his hands on my hips and squeezed, this time gently, drawing me closer to him.

He licked my lips and played with my tongue like the expert that he was now, too many shared kisses had taught us what the other one liked. And Peeta knew perfectly well how I liked it when his tongue played with mine, and how I liked it when he began by taking the initiative, so that later I could step up and take the lead in our mouths. At this rate, the fire in my belly was pounding in my crotch, and it was beginning to bother me. I was also starting to notice Peeta's excitement growing.

With two short steps he was able to crash my rear against the table, demonstrating his strength, even though he didn't need much strength to pick me up either; he grabbed my thighs and sat me down on the table, and I separated my thighs instinctively without separating our lips so that he could settle in between my legs, which he did immediately. Just like the day before, I noticed that his shirt was impeding me from imparting my caresses to him, so I pushed it up. Peeta let go of me for a second so that he could take it off, and when the shirt was in my hands, he glued his lips to mine again, with that fury I adored so much that it made me moan as I wrapped my legs around his hips.

He separated his lips from mine, looking into my eyes, those eyes that were almost as black as coal.

"I have something to give you, beautiful," he gasped and kissed me again, this time calmly, which bothered me.

"What? What is it?" My breathing was completely erratic.

"In the midst of everything, I don't want you to feel bad, or pressured, or for you to think that this is the only thing I want," he stammered almost breathlessly. "I'm doing this for you, because I know that this way you'll feel better, you won't have to worry…and it doesn't have to be now, I want you to be sure, so that you want it, need it…" he kept on blabbing, he seemed pretty nervous. He pulled away, leaving me empty and cold as he went towards the entrance, and returned shortly with a small white bag.

"Don't get mad, Katniss…this is just in case…nothing else…" he gave me the bag, looking at me worriedly. When I saw what it contained, I burst out laughing.

"Katniss?" I got up and picked up another bag from one of the kitchen cabinets and gave it to him. He took out its contents and looked at me in surprise, his mouth forming a perfect "O."

"You weren't the only one who was thinking of the  _just in case_ ," he smiled as I took the box of pills out of the bag, leaving it on the table. "Now we have two boxes of  _just in case."_

He drew me to him and kissed me tenderly, stroking my hips.

"Katniss…I…like that you thought about the…the  _just in case_ , it must mean that…"

"That yesterday was fantastic, and that…I want you to keep teaching me." I murmured softly into his ear, having recognized that this embarrassed me enormously, one thing was thinking about it, and another thing was telling him openly.

"It was amazing for me too, beautiful."

I smiled; he had liked it. What we had done yesterday…he had liked it…he had said that it was fantastic, and for my clumsy self-esteem, that was a great advance. I hugged him tightly, wanting to ask him if he was telling the truth or not, using the  _real or not real_ game, but since I was torn between being too embarrassed and being afraid of hearing the answer, I decided not to do it. I simply remained in his arms.

"Katniss…"

"Hmm?" I was really comfortable resting on his shoulder, surrounded by his strong arms.

"Will you do me a favor?"

"Whatever you want…" I noticed how he was smiling, although I didn't understand why.

"Will you take Haymitch's dinner today?" I instantly pulled away from him.

"What? Today? Why?"

"Because with what happened yesterday, he's not going to stop making fun of me."

"And you think he won't do the same with me? You know that he hates me!"

"Haymitch hates everybody…"

"Yeah…but…that's not going to save me from his comments…he's going to make me blush, he loves embarrassing me…"

"But you're stronger. Besides, you've never went and cried to him…"

"Cried?"

"Yes…well…I…in…the last few months…I….I've vented…telling him how hard it's been for me with you near," he stammered.

"What?" I felt a deep pain in my chest, I felt the whole world crumbling beneath me, as if the floor beneath my feet had torn open and swallowed me whole…he had suffered because of me, him, my boy with the bread. I was starting to feel confused, if he had a hard time with me close, what was he doing by my side? And even worse, why did he kiss and touch me?

"Katniss…it's not what you think…don't make that face…"

"What face do you want me to make after what you just said to me?"

"I was having a hard time having you near because I couldn't touch you the way I did yesterday, couldn't kiss you passionately, make you moan…couldn't make love to you…it was turning into a need for me…"

"Peeta…"

"You can't possibly understand what it's like to….sleep by your side….touch you…but never get any further than that…"

"Why didn't you ever try?"

"I was afraid…"

"Of what, Peeta? Of me?" I smiled a little.

"Of you rejecting me…I knew your stance on the subject perfectly…and then there's your innocence…" I sighed.

"You just saw that I'm not as innocent as you thought…" I snapped. I hated the whole thing about my supposed innocence, I wasn't a child, I had shown him that yesterday, and I would do it again.

"Don't get mad…"

"I'm not mad at you…" I lied, even though it really did bother me to remember that he thought I was too innocent, but I also knew perfectly well that my anger towards Peeta wasn't going to last long, he was always commenting on how I didn't know the effect that I had on him, but I did know the effect that he had on me, and it was one of absolute peace and serenity, besides the fact that I had the ill need to have him by my side.

I began to prepare a bowl of food for our mentor, the conversation and the kisses were over, or at least in my part.

"I'm going to take this to him before it gets cold…"

"Katniss, please…" I picked up the bowl and kissed him so that he would shush, damn the anger that didn't even last a whole minute.

"See you later, Peeta."

"Katniss…" I left the kitchen before he could say anything else, at least this way he would think that I was still upset at him.

Our mentor's house was right beside mine, we were barely a few yards apart. I walked towards the fence's door without looking back; I knew that Peeta was standing outside my house looking at me in defeat. I sorted out the weeds from Haymitch's garden, took in some air, rang the doorbell, and waited. Nothing. I rang it again, once more obtaining no result. I decided to ring a third time, when the door opened and my mentor appeared. He had a knife in his hand and seemed a bit dazed. When he focused his eyes on me, his lips drew up in a sly smirk.

"Come in, sweetheart…" I stepped inside and closed the door without any delicacy, causing it to slam loudly. Haymitch put his hand on his head, groaning in pain. Great, he was hung-over.

"I brought you some food," I walked past him until I got to the kitchen, he served himself a cup of coffee and poured a long stream of liquid from a bottle that he had on the table. From the smell of it, I could tell that it was whiskey. He picked up the food and sniffed.

"At least it smells good…" I glared at him.

"If you don't need anything else…" I murmured, containing my rage, ready to leave as soon as possible.

"Has Peeta's drought ended?"

"Excuse me?" Haymitch burst out laughing as if I had just told him a stupid joke.

"Has there been any action," he thrust his hips and I understood, blushing instantly.

"What do you care?" I scowled.

"Oh…come on, doll…I'm your mentor…if I don't care….who will?"

"No one, nobody cares what Peeta and I do," he tusked with his tongue.

"Of course I care…I want to know if the family's going to get bigger or not…"

"Don't worry, we're being careful, the family won't increase."

"Oooh, that means that you've made progress…good girl."

"No! There hasn't been any progress, damn it," he laughed.

"Well from your shouts and moans it sounded like there has been, maybe you should close the windows…" I covered my face with my hands, dying of shame, a shame that I had honestly never felt before, my face was burning in a way that I had never noticed.

"He just touched me," I mumbled.

"With his hand?" I nodded. "Did he do anything with his tongue?"

"He kissed me, yes…"

"I wasn't referring to that…he didn't use it on your…little petals?"

"Ugh, no…" My expression must have been really comical because my mentor began to cackle scandalously. "Stop laughing," I glowered at him, our faces inches from each other. My embarrassment was beginning to transform into wrath.

"Or what? You'll stab me with one of your arrows?" I had to back up a little, the smell of alcohol was twisting my insides, "Or better yet, you'll bite me, like you did with your boyfriend?" In that moment, my vision blurred, and I raised my hand and slapped him hard. The dry blow reverberated in the whole room. My mentor's mouth fell open, his jaw hanging, but it didn't take him two seconds to break out into hysterics, this time even louder.

"Shut up, you stupid drunk, or I'll put a match near you, so that all of the alcohol inside you will go BOOM!" I scowled at him again. He stopped laughing, but he kept his stupid smirk on.

"I just want to help…" he attempted to make an innocent face, but he failed.

"We don't need it… Peeta knows what he's doing, stop saying nonsense."

"And do you know what you're doing?"

"Perfectly well…"My tone was beginning to show how tired I was of this subject, I was on edge.

"Well I only heard you moan…" that pissed me off. I may not be the best lover in the world, or have much experience at my disposal, but Peeta had enjoyed it, that viscous liquid had demonstrated it.

"I don't have to hear him to know that he likes it…" I was so tired of this that I decided I would show him for myself, show him the effects that my touches had caused on Peeta, in all of its forms, I wouldn't be able to hide this from him for very long. I parted my hair, showing him the teeth marks as I smiled with satisfaction when my mentor was left speechless. "Do you still think that he doesn't like what I do?"

"Ugh…nice collar…" I sighed. "It looks like desperate Peeta has had a nice time…about time, too…"

"He has an amazing time, Haymitch."

"Don't take long in giving him the big prize," He looked directly down at the junction between my thighs. "Or he'll go looking for someone more receptive, there's plenty who would give it to him willingly…"

"I'll give it to him when I feel like it."

"He'll end up raping you or leaving you."

"Peeta would never do that."

"Are you sure? Katniss…" He smiled wide. I sighed.

"You're impossible, Haymitch…I'll come get the bowl when you're finished…" I headed towards the door, and since I didn't hear his reply, I left.

Rather than walking, I ran back to my house in large strides, cursing that drunk. I still didn't understand what I had done to him so that he would treat me that way, laugh at me, at my acts, or my thoughts…when I arrived home, I came in with a loud bang on the door. The loud noise must have alarmed Peeta, because he quickly descended the stairs.

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

"I doubt that, Katniss…" his voice contrasted with mine, since it emanated tranquility, and it was obvious that the only thing that came from mine at the moment was fury.

"Think whatever you want," I dodged him and climbed up the stairs, but he managed to catch me on the last step.

"What did he say to you?"

"What are you going to tell me, Peeta? He made fun of me!"

"I don't think he did…"

"You weren't there, you don't know what he did…he laughed at the fact that you and I…haven't done you know what…"

"You know he only does it to bother you and make you mad."

"Well this time I'm furious… he even laughed at my screams this time, because we had a window open…" I blushed at the memory, "He could have seen us…"

"Katniss…sweetheart…I already told you…I love your screams…the next time we'll make sure that everything is shut…" his voice still sounded calm, and this irritated me.

"No…it's best if…we don't have a next time…that way we'll make sure…"

"What?" I could see the disappointment on his face.

"You heard me…maybe you should find someone else…some other girl…"

"Katniss! Are you even listening to yourself? You're saying foolishness!"

"I'm being completely serious."

"I don't want to find someone else, you're the only one for me, when are you going to understand that?" he sighed, passing a hand over his hair.

"But Haymitch said that…" I mumbled. I wasn't sure what to tell him, but even though I didn't want to lose him, I was afraid that he would suffer, and that I would suffer too, because of everything that was going on between our bodies, because of my desire to be naked against his also naked flesh. Maybe this was too much for me, and I couldn't handle it. Even if I wished with all of my soul that I could.

"I don't care what Haymitch says, the only things that matter are what you and I desire…and right now I only care about you. Not our mentor, not another girl, just you, just Katniss Everdeen, do you understand?"

I looked into his eyes and nodded, I wanted to believe in his words, that only he and I mattered, but it was difficult, very difficult.

* * *

__

_**Teaser:** _

" _Peeta?"_

" _I had no idea you had this on…" he passed one of his fingers in between my breasts._

" _Do you like it? I put it on for you…"_

" _You're driving me crazy with it…" I blushed madly; at least I had finally done something right._


	16. Chapter 16

I didn't like seeing Peeta like this; his face clearly reflected his thoughts, a mixture of desperation and deception, and the worst thing of all was that I hated disappointing my boy with the bread. And now I had done it, maybe it had been my words or actions, but he was there, looking at me with that face. He placed his palm on my face and stroked my cheek with his pinky. It was incredible how a small caress could make me shudder.

"I'm sorry, Peeta…"

"What are you sorry for?" his breath crashed against my lips.

"Everything…especially having talked to you like that."

"Forget about it…I shouldn't have asked you to go to his house…" he smiled slightly, enough for my lips to want to imitate his.

"And also…" I whispered. There it was, I had to gather some courage as I let it out, "I also feel like I don't deserve you."

"WHAT?" the shock etched upon his face frightened me a little.

"Yes…I'm sorry, you're just too good, attentive, loving, and I'm not either of those things…besides…everything that I've made you go through, all of the damage, all of that began when I didn't thank you for the bread that saved me…" since he didn't say anything, I continued, "Obviously I'm not good for you. But I can't help the need to hold you back. I'm selfish, but I don't want you to be far away from me." Peeta placed his finger on my lips to silence me.

"So what? Who says you're not good enough for me?"

"Damn it Peeta, everyone knows," the tears were starting to sting at my eyes now. "Even Haymitch…"

"Did he tell you that?" I nodded.

"A long time ago…"

"I will beat him." He was starting to sound pissed.

"Peeta…"

"No, listen to me, Katniss." He took my face between both of his hands so that I would look at him, "I've been in love with you ever since I first saw you, and no one is more perfect for me than the woman I've always been in love with. Those who think that you don't deserve me or that you hurt me can just fuck off. But that isn't the case. You deserve what you wish, everything that you desire, because you are the girl with the biggest heart I know," he placed his finger on my lips again when I tried to reply, "And I've been lucky enough to have you notice me, even if it was in that way, even if it was hard for you, you did it, and you've made me the happiest man in the world. That first kiss…"

I removed his hand from my mouth.

"You know that kiss was…"

"I know, I know," he cut me off. "But I also know that some of those kisses in the cave were different for you." My cheeks burned a bit, sign of an incipient blush.

"You've suffered a lot because of me…"

"I would go through it again if it assured me that I would get to sleep with you a few more nights."

"Don't say that…I won't let anyone hurt you."

"Then stop saying that you don't deserve me, because that hurts me. I'm the luckiest man in the world for being here with you."

"Putting up with my tears, nightmares, and my refusal to have something more…intense?"

"That's all disappearing, the tears barely make an act of presence, your nightmares are practically doing the same, and the rest…" he passed his finger over the marks on my neck, the ones he had made himself. "We're making progress…"

I sighed. What was I going to say to him now? He had left me completely speechless, everything he had told me had filled my heart and had made it pound in a strange way.

"So?"

"So Katniss don't think about that and we can continue being a nice couple."

"Couple…"

"Yes, couple, even if it is hard for you to say it, even if you pretend like we're not a couple, we're lovers." The word bounced loudly in my ears, one thing was imagining it and another thing was hearing it said out loud.

"You've never asked me…" his blonde eyelashes beat rapidly.

"I didn't think it was necessary, after having spent months kissing and sleeping together, it was a given."

"I suppose…"

"I don't understand you," he simply smiled.

"It doesn't matter," he took my hand, interlaced our fingers, and kissed the back of my hand. "Katniss Everdeen… would you like to be my girlfriend? Would you like to go out with me?"

My heart toppled over, the blood concentrating in my belly, the air abandoning my lungs, my vision clouding and my mouth going dry. Damn it, what we were was a pretty obvious fact. We touched like lovers, we kissed like lovers, we lived together like lovers, and we were even starting to do more serious things, like lovers. We were that, but we had never put a label on it, or at least not me, it frightened me. But the question was there…hell, if I got like this just from being asked to be his girlfriend, what would happen when he asked me if I wanted to marry him? I couldn't stop smiling when I realized that I was already thinking of him asking me to marry him when I hadn't even responded to his first question.

"Katniss…" Peeta brought me back to Earth.

"What? Ah…yes…the answer…yes…of course I want to, we're already together, no?"

Peeta smiled, in a way that I rarely ever saw him smile, showing me each one of his teeth, white, pearly, and perfect. He then kissed me so sweetly that it seemed too short, so then I kissed him again, entertaining myself in his lips, and then my tongue waited for his mouth to grant me permission and passed to play inside it. Our tongues curled and played inside of his mouth first and then went into mine. When I separated from him to take in some air, Peeta pushed me, pressing me against the wall with certain strength, and rather than upsetting me, I enjoyed this action so much that the tickling in my abdomen turned into heat. I panted against his lips when his hands squeezed my hips and slid down to my bottom, pressing me even more to him as we leaned on the wall. In an instinctive and irrational act, I jumped and wrapped my legs around his hips, like I had done when I had been sitting on the kitchen table this morning. Peeta grunted, biting my lip and squeezing my butt. I chuckled softly; I loved it when Peeta switched from his gentleman side to his bad boy side and touched every single corner of my body, making me melt.

I passed over to kiss his neck when I noticed his excitement against my groin, proving that he was as aroused as I was. When Peeta imitated me and began to kiss my neck, I started nibbling him and unbuttoning his shirt, but it was becoming exceedingly difficult because of my nerves, so I tugged hard at both sides, making the rest of the buttons jump out. Peeta laughed against my neck.

"I sure didn't expect that, Katniss," I kissed him again, shifting my hips and searching for some friction, I needed to feel that pleasurable sensation that only he could give me.

"I don't think you expected many things from me….but you like these things, no?"

"Are you doing this because I like it?" he licked my earlobe, which caused me to drown a moan against his neck.

"What?" I looked into his eyes, those eyes darkened by desire, the desire for my body, "No…Peeta, I'm doing this because I like it, I wouldn't do something like this just because you want it, I'm not as good as you…" Peeta smiled at me.

"I like hearing you say that you like this…."

"I would be crazy if I didn't like it," Peeta slid one of his hands up and squeezed one of my breasts, and this time I moaned without reprimanding myself.

"Peeta…let's go to bed…" he pressed my body even closer to his.

"I love hearing that." Our lips met again as he headed towards the bedroom with me in his arms.

He laid me across the bed and went down to kiss my neck, making my heart beat intensely, the heat of my stomach growing and making my panties embarrassingly wet. He then went on to my clavicle and my shoulder, while his hands began drawing shapes beneath the tight shirt I was wearing today. I was able to make us roll over as I straddled him. He sought my mouth and I returned the warm kiss gladly while his hands passed over my sides, heading down towards the place where the boy with the bread's excitement concentrated.

His hands became lost underneath my shirt again, caressing the groove of my vertebral column, making every inch of my body burn. I shifted so that he could take off my shirt, which he did quickly. He just stared at me, panting as he stroked my hips.

"Peeta?"

"I had no idea you had this on…" he passed one of his fingers in between my breasts.

"Do you like it? I put it on for you…"

"You're driving me crazy with it…" I blushed madly; at least I had finally done something right.

He moved over so that he was at my height and kissed me again, making a swaying movement that allowed me to notice his excitement. I moaned loudly, moving my lips over Peeta's like a maniac, playing with his tongue inside of his mouth almost without breathing, the pounding in my crotch became more and more unbearable, I needed Peeta's fingers touching that spot. I pushed him gently so that he was lying back down again, and I went down to nibble his torso at the same time that my hands went up and down on his sides. I kissed over his bellybutton at the same time that my hands headed towards the zipper on his pants, unbuttoning them and unzipping them. I gasped at the enormous bulge that formed over his underwear.

"Are you okay, Katniss?" I nodded, passing my fingers over that zone, ripping a moan out of him. I smiled against his lips. I kissed him and passed my tongue over his lips.

"Wait…"

I stretched and looked inside the drawer on the nightstand. I didn't know if it would happen or not, but it would be best to prevent ourselves, and besides, in this way I would show Peeta that at least in my part, we could go as far as he wanted. I picked up the bottle of pills that I had stored there, opening it nervously, and picked up one of the pink pills. Peeta smiled, caressing my back while I popped a pill into my mouth. I showed it to him as it was on my tongue, and then I swallowed it. Peeta pulled me in and his lips crashed against mine in that moment, but it didn't seem as if he were kissing me, rather he seemed to be devouring me. I gasped again, I was beginning to feel hot and my clothes were starting to bother me.

Peeta seemed to sense this because he lowered his hands and stroked my bare thighs from my knees up, reaching the button on my pants as he unbuttoned them skillfully, lowering them down to my knees with one tug.

"Wow… any more surprises?" He stroked the soft lace on the waistband of my panties.

"Don't you have enough?" He removed my pants completely from my legs.

He placed himself in between my legs, looking at me with the same intensity that he had used when we were on the sofa. He leaned over me and kissed me again, and I made him press his hips over mine, making both of us moan when our intimacies touched. My hands quickly headed to his ass, and with soft tugs I was able to lower his pants, abandoning his legs as Peeta pulled them down too. Now our crotches were separated only by those fine fabrics that made up our undergarments. I thrust my hips in the way we both liked it. The heat began to intensify in my lower stomach, and my crotch throbbed even faster, speeding up my heart.

Peeta passed his lips over my jaw, descending down my neck and towards my shoulder. He pulled away the strap of my bra and bit me with force but at the same time with sweetness, making me groan. Since I knew that he would have problems with the clasp of my bra, I undid it myself, making him smile. He continued kissing me in this way, descending down my body, towards my breasts, which he instantly discovered, sending the bra towards the floor. I would be lying if I said that I didn't feel a bit exposed and even more nervous about the situation. But the feeling of nervousness disappeared when Peeta pressed a kiss on the rosiest and hardest part of my breasts and then licked it. My back arched and a hoarse moan abandoned my body as he took it in his mouth and sucked it. This drove me crazy. One of my hands tangled into his locks and the other descended down his back, but then when it reached his waist it went towards the front to caress the patch of hair that I knew so well, and that I liked even more than his eyelashes. Peeta's moan didn't make me wait as he tightened his teeth a little bit more around my nipple, which caused me to wail in response. My hands went down a bit further, resting over his hardness and squeezing it a little, another moan, this one much more intense, escaping from his mouth.

I was so entertained stroking him that I didn't notice where his hand was until I saw how he slipped it inside my panties. My moan turned into a scream when he brushed that part, that piece of flesh in between my folds that when I felt Peeta's touches, it made the fire inside me rage even more. I closed my eyes and let him do this, neglecting his crotch during those few seconds, but I quickly imitated him as I slipped my hand inside the cloth that covered him and I stroked the entirety of his length with the pad of my fingers. He groaned again against my chest, but he soon sought my mouth again to kiss me as if I would need it. I drank from his lips at the same time that I wrapped my hand on his hardness and stroked him the way he had shown me, but very slowly. Peeta's moan became even huskier against my lips, which parted open in an aroused expression when I noticed how his finger got lost in my interior. I moaned and cried out softly when he began moving that finger inside and out slowly.

It seemed that Peeta began to feel bothered by our clothing as much as me, since his hand tugged down my panties, and I helped him some, but to our annoyance he had to remove his hand from me to finish taking them off of me, taking this opportunity to take off his briefs as well. He started staring at me again, but this time I didn't stay still, and instead continued stroking him, each time a little bit faster. He leaned over me again and kissed me heatedly. Our crotches brushed again, and I removed my hand to feel him completely against my skin. My legs opened a little more to allow him better access, and I moved my hips again to rub against his hardness, causing immense moans from both of us.

Peeta separated our mouths and looked into my eyes, caressing that part of my intimacy again. My gasps and cries flooded the bedroom once more. I couldn't help but close my eyes and forget the whole world; I let Peeta touch me as I clutched the sheets. When one of his fingers sheltered itself in my interior again, I couldn't stand it anymore and I exploded, screaming and arching my back beneath Peeta's body.

I looked at him with a smile drawn across my lips. Peeta kissed me sweetly returning the smile, although his eyes remained darkened. They were so dark that I barely registered any blue in them. I encircled his member with my hand again and I stroked him slowly while I licked his lips and then maintained a battle with his tongue.

"I want you to do it, Peeta…" his moans intensified against my lips.

"Do what?" my cheeks reddened, I had to be clearer.

"I want you to…" I swallowed. "Make love to me…now." He placed his hand over mine so that I would stop stroking him and he kissed me so tenderly, one of his 'goodnight kisses' as I liked to call them.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely." I took him by the hips and pressed him closer to me, his penis digging into my groin again.

The kiss that Peeta gave me in that moment completely dislocated me. It was sweet yet intense, full of love and desire mixed evenly together. So tender, but so passionate that it was difficult for me to follow, although I think that I was able to do it in the end, since he continued it for a few seconds while he placed his hardness in that spot where his finger had gotten lost.

"I can stop if you want…"

I nodded, placing one of his hands on my hips as I noticed the same pressure as the previous afternoon, except more intense, since this was much bigger. I breathed deeply and kissed Peeta to forget what was going on down there. I noticed how he tried to make his way into my interior, it hurt a little but it was bearable, and a few seconds later, I yelled.

"It hurts…"

"Do I stop?"

"No…no, continue, you know that it's possible that it could hurt me…"

And he continued, he continued making pressure, there was something in my interior that impeded him from passing. He kissed me sweetly, practically licking my tongue, and then he did it, he entered me completely, slowly but firmly. And I screamed again, this time it was a sharp and strong pain, it went through my interior and I noticed how something in me tore. But I also noticed something else, I noticed Peeta's heat in my interior, and that heat, that pleasure that produced me to feel him so deeply inside me, so mine, intoxicated my body. I came back to reality as I felt Peeta's lips on my forehead and cheeks.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"

"I'm fine…"

Even then I grasped his hips and kept him firm so that he wouldn't move for a few minutes, in which we entertained ourselves by kissing and touching. After that time passed, I let go of his hips and placed both of my hands on his bottom as Peeta slid out a bit before entering me again. The pain came back, less intense now but it came back, and I gritted my teeth as I let him keep going. The pain disappeared little by little and the sensations that Peeta provoked me began to make me moan each time more intensely. His body contracted over mine faster and stronger each time, his mouth travelling over my neck and mouth equally, while his moans mixed with mine. My hips began to move at the same pace as his to seek a bigger thrust. Soon, my moans turned into screams, those embarrassing screams that I tended to emit whenever Peeta touched me, full of pleasure. But this pleasure was much greater than the ones his strokes had given me. This pleasure made me feel full, feeling Peeta's member in my interior was without a doubt the best feeling that I've had in my entire life.

Peeta's movements became even stronger and faster, his body lunged against mine with such force that the headboard made loud thuds against the wall. I wrapped my legs around Peeta's waist like I had done when we were in the hallway. This made that pleasure point in my interior rub against Peeta's body, and that was the end of me. Each thrust was a moan from his part and a scream from mine. The heat in my navel was growing in large bounds, so rapid and so intense that I could barely stand it. And it seemed that my body did not stand it. It exploded, it exploded in a way that so intense and so powerful that my cry of pleasure, that guttural outcry, must have been heard around all of Victor's Village. I realized that I had arched my back when I felt Peeta's arm wrap around my waist at the same time that he moved swiftly, just a few more seconds, and at the same time that he bit my neck, I felt something just as warm as him spread into my interior, which I supposed was that viscous fluid.

He stopped moving slowly and supported his weight over my body, panting over my neck as he sought my mouth and kissed me sweetly. I smiled as he flipped us over and left me over him without sliding out of me. I rested my head on his chest. He caressed my hair and back, which was covered in sweat, until he reached the end of it. He then lifted my face, holding me by the chin and giving me a short kiss on the lips without stopping his panting. I smiled like a fool, mixing my panting with his.

"You love me. Real or not real?

"Real."

* * *

__

_**Teaser:** _

_As he laughed, he moved his leg that was in between both of mine, brushing over my sex and ripping a real moan from me this time, making me clench my teeth. Peeta stopped laughing and moved his leg again, this time brushing deliberately over my intimacy. I moaned more intensely than before, digging my fingers into his chest._

_"You did that on purpose…" I murmured as I gazed at him. Incredibly enough, his eyes had gone dark again._

_"Of course I did, love…" he made me moan again as he pressed me closer to him with his hand._


	17. Chapter 17

I woke up slightly dazed, and it took me a few minutes to take in my surroundings. I was in bed, beside Peeta, and the burning in my most intimate place reminded me of what had occurred not too long ago. I raised my head and looked at Peeta.

"Hi," I murmured.

"Hey," he smiled wide as he caressed my back. His hand traveled up from my shoulder to the curve of my spine before reaching my behind.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep…"

"You know I like watching you sleep."

"But it's not very romantic to fall asleep right after…."

"Since when are you a romantic, Katniss?" I smiled.

"Well maybe not me…but you are…"

"Well…" he kissed me softly on the lips. "There's nothing more romantic than seeing you sleep on top of me right after making love to you."

The blush on my cheeks increased considerably, and Peeta smiled even more as he stroked one of them. He then kissed me again and held me tightly. I smiled, returning the hug and pressing our bodies even closer. And right in that moment, right in that place, in my bed, with my boy with the bread, unclothed and holding each other, I felt happy, immensely happy. For the first time in two years, all of the bad memories, all of the remorse I felt, disappeared from my mind. There was only Peeta and me, the star-crossed-lovers, but now, in this bed, there was no tragedy, only happiness. Happiness in all of its glory. And without being able to help it, I burst out crying; first my eyes filled with tears, tears that began stinging as they overflowed, followed by sobs and full-out bawling.

I had hardly ever cried out of happiness, once when my little sister was born, I had only been four, but I had wished for her to arrive so badly into the world, wanted her to be a girl, that after hearing my mother's cries all night, my father appeared into the living room with a small pink blanket that used to belong to me, wrapping that tiny pink body, and I jumped up excitedly from the couch. When she opened her enormous blue eyes, I cried and said hi to her.

Another time was with the same boy that was with me now, during our second games, when I had thought him dead and Finnick had revived him. I had laughed and cried at the same time, that cry of happiness after knowing that he was still with me, that I had regained the opportunity to save him, it's possible that that's when I realized that I loved him much more than I had thought, even though I would never recognize it.

The tears soon reached Peeta's chest, and my convulsions alerted him.

"Katniss, what's wrong?" I simply shook my head, sinking it even further into his chest. "Oh god, what did I do? Katniss, I'm sorry, I thought…I thought that…I didn't…" he sounded nervous and desperate.

"I'm crying out of happiness," I mumbled, embarrassed.

"Out of happiness?" I nodded, looking into his eyes, that deep sea of them that now presented fear. "Are you happy?"

"In this moment, yes, that's why I never want it to end."

"Let's freeze it…it's even better than the picnic we had on the roof of the training center," he murmured against my lips, "Will you allow it?" I smiled even more at his words while he dried my tears.

"I'll allow it." He kissed me tenderly, passing his fingers through my hair and tangling them there.

"We would be nude forever," he placed his hand on one of my butt cheeks, causing me to shiver.

"Always bare," I whispered, it was a romantic moment, one of the few that we had lived outside of the cameras, it was real, it was ours, and I could hardly believe that I was acting this way, but I was doing it, I was doing it without pretending.

"Naked for me," those words caused a tingling in my navel, heading down between my legs.

"And you for me, don't you forget." Peeta chuckled softly.

"So that I can make love to you for hours," the tingling increased and reached my intimacy. Peeta's words excited me almost as much as his kisses. I hid my face in his chest again so that he couldn't see that he had just made me blush.

"Like before…"

"Yes…or maybe even better…" he kissed my head.

"Better? Do you think it can get better? I doubt it…"

"That was our first time, from now on it'll be better; for example, it won't hurt you anymore."

"It didn't hurt that much," I lied softly, although the truth was that it had hurt, I had the feeling that my interior was too narrow for his hardness, and that the next time would hurt too.

"Katniss let me remind you that you're a bad liar, I know that it hurt you, I saw you face; I heard you scream…"

"And I will remind you that I've been through worse, deflowering me wasn't all that painful…"

" _Deflowering_ you sounds so good," I wrinkled my nose; it may sound nice, but I couldn't prevent it from embarrassing me.

"The…the…act was mutual…" I looked into his eyes as he smiled at me and then kissed me sweetly.

I leaned on his chest again and listened to his heart as I closed my eyes. I smiled when I noticed that it wasn't beating calmly and that if I moved my hips slightly, it would beat faster. I placed one of my legs in between his, allowing his good leg to rest in between mine, and even though it had been my gesture, I shuddered when I felt the heat of his thigh on my crotch. This made his heart beat even faster. I kept listening to the  _thump thump_  without believing what had just occurred a few hours ago. Peeta and I had made love. And the strangest thing of all was that I knew that I was going to do it, that I had wanted it to be that way, that's why I took the pill, and even though the nerves made an act of presence, I wasn't afraid to do it, I gave myself to him and I enjoyed it. I enjoyed his movements like a maniac; my hips had sought a better thrust, and they had moved to feel him even more and in that moment I felt no shame, I hadn't thought about the consequences, or that it was wrong. We did it. Peeta showed me everything he felt for me with each thrust. And I had finally shown him what I felt for him as well. With acts and words. I had told him that I loved him, he had asked me with that silly game and I answered him with one word:  _real._ The smile that Peeta made in that moment was magical. It was so pure, so sincere, and so big. It was the best smile I had ever seen in my life. And it was directed at me, and towards what I had said.

I still found it incredible that I had admitted that I loved him. I hadn't even thought about it myself. But when he asked me, I didn't have a single doubt. I loved Peeta and it was possible that my love had been there since a while back, perhaps since the day that he saved my life when I was 11. It was possible that my brain didn't even know how to interpret the feeling in my heart. Or maybe it simply didn't want to due to all of my problems and convictions. I was a tough girl, a girl who needed to feed her family, and thinking about love when you were starving was wrong, very wrong. That's why my brain had refused to admit what my body had felt, even after everything had winded down, it was hard for me to admit it, but it was the truth.

Peeta was my dandelion in the spring, I could be a little bit happier by his side, and I was conformed feeling half as happy as I felt now for the rest of my life. I wanted to make him happy too, my heart decided that in that moment, I would do anything to be his dandelion; I wanted to be his orange sunset. My heart wanted to be everything for him and my brain was ready to allow it.

I closed my eyes, smiling to myself due to the whirlpool of thoughts that I was having. The important thing was that even though it was only during those few minutes, only until the painful memories came back, I was happy. I was happy to be beside the boy with the bread, and more incredibly, to be naked by his side.

Without noticing, my right hand began tracing shapes on Peeta's chest. It went up and down all over his strong and muscular torso. Soon, it headed towards his neck, caressing it as well. Peeta's hands began to imitate mine as they stroked my body too. We had gone back to our usual ministrations of touching each other's bodies and filling them with caresses. But now it was different, Peeta didn't stop when he reached my breasts and then go down, touching only my belly. Now the pads of his fingers traveled without modesty to those tiny mountains on my body, centering themselves on the rosiest part, making it harden and stealing a mischievous smile form the owner of those fingers. My throat couldn't help but let a small moan escape it, just a slight murmur of satisfaction.

"Do you like it?" I murmured as I looked into his eyes.

"I love how it hardens with my touch." I smiled, slightly embarrassed.

"I think…I think it gets like that because it likes it," I murmured against the skin of his chest.

"Yes…I love your body when you're enjoying yourself, your mouth agape, those screams, your pupils dilate and darken the gray of your eyes…"

"Your eyes darken too…and I like seeing them that way, although I thought that you were going to have an attack the first time I saw them." I laughed nervously, his laughter sounded more relaxed.

As he laughed, he moved his leg that was in between both of mine, brushing over my sex and ripping a real moan from me this time, making me clench my teeth. Peeta stopped laughing and moved his leg again, this time brushing deliberately over my intimacy. I moaned more intensely than before, digging my fingers into his chest.

"You did that on purpose…" I murmured as I gazed at him. Incredibly enough, his eyes had gone dark again.

"Of course I did, love…" he made me moan again as he pressed me closer to him with his hand.

I stretched up and kissed him softly, entertaining myself with the taste of his lips only to savor his sweet tongue which also began tasting mine, increasing the rhythm of our games, making me gasp. A few seconds later, Peeta was panting in unison. Feeling his breath against my mouth was turning me on more than it usually did when our clothes interposed the contact of our skin. But now, naked, I felt that with each mere kiss my navel burned more and my groin was beginning to throb and moisten against Peeta's thigh, which was starting to move with a gentle rhythmic swaying motion.

A few minutes later, my lips directed themselves over Peeta's strong jaw and over his neck, where they deposited millions of kisses. My hand descended all over his side until it went back to caress his adorable line of fuzz, but it accidently rubbed his hardness, which I noticed in that precise moment. Gathering some courage, I separated my lips from his magnificent neck so that I could look into his eyes while ran my fingers over his length. He parted his mouth in a half smile that was erased to let in a moan after I encircled my hand and gripped him gently. He closed his eyes tightly when my hand began to go up and down over his manhood slowly, while short pants and moans came out of his mouth, which intensified little by little, becoming louder each time.

"Katniss…"

"Shh, let me keep going." I gave him a short kiss on the lips. "I don't think you can enter me right now." His face seemed preoccupied and he tried to get me to stop stroking him as he placed his hand over mine. "Peeta…" I was being honest, what I really wanted in that moment was to have him inside of me again, but my intimacy, even though it throbbed, hurt and burned in a very intense way, to which I supposed it was best waiting for the pain to disappear until I could fully enjoy my boy with the bread.

I removed his hand and moved mine much faster, and he must have given up with those movements, since he closed his eyes again and allowed me to continue. My hand ran over his member so fast that it seemed impossible that that hand could be mine. But it was, and feeling his heat and his hardness against it excited me exceedingly, so I could be assured that Peeta's thigh was impregnated with my moisture, just like his pants had been after our encounter on the sofa the other day.

It didn't take me more than two minutes to feel one of his hands in between my thigh and crotch, his deft fingers quickly finding my pleasure point and stroking it frantically, converting my aroused moans into my well-known screams. Even then, my hand didn't stop doing its job, and as proof of it, Peeta soon stopped moving his fingers over me, and holding his breath, he drowned an intense moan against my lips. That familiar white liquid stained my navel and he didn't even let out two breaths before his fingers continued their work on me, first slowly, then passing on to a more intense movement, rubbing small circles over that spot. When his lips joined mine again, the explosion of pleasure ran through my veins and each one of my nerve endings until I was left exhausted and panting against Peeta's mouth without being able to kiss him back.

When I was able to return Peeta's kiss, he hugged my tightly, smiling against my lips, and when our kiss ended he whispered in my ear that he loved me, making every inch of my skin vibrate.

* * *

__

_**Teaser:** _

_I breathed in deeply and slowly separated my legs, looking away from Peeta's face. I could assure that I was more nervous and more embarrassed now than when I had him on top of me, about to enter me. I decided to close my eyes so that I could avoid finding his gaze as I lowered my fingers into my intimacy._


	18. Chapter 18

I dozed off again on Peeta's chest, feeling completely relaxed while listening to the beating of his heart accompanied by the rhythm of the air entering and leaving his lungs. His hands moved harmoniously over my back, tracing hundreds of caresses on it all over again.

"Are you asleep?"

"Not at the moment…" I could feel him smile.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm great…"

"But it hurts you…" he murmured against my hair.

"I can bear it." He sighed.

"I'm sorry, love…I'm really sorry," he kissed my head, holding me even tighter against his chest, as if it were possible.

"I'm not sorry; would you prefer it if it had not occurred?" I adjusted so that our faces were level with each other, and he shook his head. "Well then that pain is necessary." I kissed his lips sweetly, savoring them.

Peeta then gave me a kiss on the forehead and got up, leaving me a bit maladjusted, all tumbled up and naked on the bed. I felt tremendously fragile, and I felt like the bed was enormous in comparison to my small body. Being with Peeta changed things; the bed became the most comfortable place in the whole world, soft and warm. But being there alone made it feel enormous. I adjusted myself and got up, drowning a yell against my palm as I noticed the state of the bed. It was completely messed up; we hadn't even bothered to remove the comforter, and this cushiony cloth contained a prominent stain of blood, bigger than I had imagined the hemorrhage produced after losing my purity would be. I had always heard that it was possible to bleed, but that the bleeding would be minimal, a few drops, and these weren't exactly four drops.

Peeta returned in that moment and hugged me from behind, sinking his head in my hair to later deposit a kiss on my neck.

"Look," I pointed at the blatant stain.

"Wow…that's just…"

"Way too big, Peeta," I squeezed his hands, which hadn't stopped encircling my waist tenderly.

"I'm sure that it's normal, some girls will bleed more than others…girls at school would be overheard talking about it…some of them said that they didn't bleed at all…" I sighed, I knew that he was right, but something inside of me wouldn't let the preoccupation disappear. "It was really hard for us, so maybe that's why the stain is bigger…. don't think about that, honey."

He let go of me and with one rapid movement, he removed the comforter from the bed, leaving it on the floor as he made me lay on the bed over the sheets. He lay down beside me and kissed me tenderly.

"Don't worry about it… it will stop hurting soon."

He kneeled, and although I tried to impede it out of embarrassment, he spread my legs open and then pressed a wet cloth over my intimacy, which seemed impregnated with cold water. A shiver went through me as a gasp came out of my throat, which I couldn't decipher if it was from surprise or relief. Peeta kissed my navel while he put some pressure on the cloth. I let him do this as I stared at him. He seemed completely concentrated on his task of healing my discomforts. I closed my eyes and bit my lip when Peeta used another cloth to run over my thighs over the zones closest to my sex, cleaning those zones from all trace of our activities.

"Don't do that…" he murmured.

"Do what?"

"Bite your lip."

"Why not?" I did it again, involuntarily.

"Because I'll jump you and you won't be able to stop me from possessing you." He kissed my navel again, but this time my hips rose to shorten the agony of my skin, which desired to be kissed again.

"Even now you act like a gentleman," I sighed, my breathing accelerated.

"Why do you say that now?"

"Look at what you're doing… listen to the way you talk about us having been together… or how you're holding back the craving of doing more to me even though your eyes are darkened," I smiled softly, "You're the perfect gentleman."

"And you're the perfect lady." I laughed.

"Oh please, not even you believe that, however much in love you may be with me."

"I was referring to this moment, you're holding back too even though it would be easier for you… just say the word and I'm at your feet."

"It would be easy for you too, look at how you've got me," I blushed as I pronounced those words, but instead of replying, Peeta kissed me again, pressing even more over the cloth that was covering me.

I moaned against his lips, but my hand stopped Peeta's from continuing his normal work on me. He understood my gesture completely, and even though he didn't break the kiss, his hand remained static against my skin, separated only by that fine cloth.

"Keep the cloths like this for a while, and I'll put some ointment on it later."

"It's not necessary, I'm fine."

"I insist… it will stop hurting you this way." He kissed my forehead. I sighed, the best thing that I could do at the moment was give in and let him take care of me; Peeta wasn't going to give up.

"Do you realize that this is completely embarrassing?" He brushed my lips with his again, smiling.

"Well I love being this way." His hand traveled beneath my navel, making my skin rise.

"I don't…we're naked…"

"We were naked a while ago too, but you didn't mind…" he winked at me teasingly.

"That's different…we're not going to make love with our clothes on, are we?"

"Well this is the same thing; your chest is the same as before… what does it matter if I keep looking at it?" He passed his finger over one of my nipples, which hardened even more than before, and a mischievous smile escaped from his lips.

"You have responses for everything…" He smiled even more, with self-satisfaction.

"Exactly," he gave me another chaste kiss, "Besides, it hurts because of me, I have to cure you."

"It wasn't your fault… we both wanted this… I don't regret it." In that moment, Peeta threw himself at me and hugged me tightly, leaving me completely surprised, I didn't expect that reaction at all.

"You can't even imagine what it means to me to hear you say that you don't regret it… it's something that terrifies me, that you end up regretting getting to this point."

"I'm not going to regret it…" I wrapped my hands around his neck, "Never, Peeta… with you my life means so much more… even though it sounds extremely corny, it's the truth, you've made me see things differently… you've even made me fall in love…"

"In love…"

"Aha…"

"With me…."

"Exactly…" his lips began to leave soft kisses along my neck as my skin prickled and my breathing accelerated. "Keep going…"

"Hmmm?"

"Your treatments won't be for nothing…" I managed to separate his lips from my neck using all of my willpower. "Besides, if you know that it hurts me, you won't enjoy it… you're too much of a gentleman for that."

"And you know me too well…" He kissed my forehead as a smile traced upon my lips.

"We spend a lot of time together."

"Yes, and I love it, and from now on we'll spend even more." I couldn't stop myself from chuckling.

"Haymitch was right about you being desperate after all…"

"Katniss…. I was absolutely desperate… it was horrible! Do you know what it was like getting out of bed with an erec-" I covered his mouth, blushing, even though I wasn't the one talking that way.

"I get it, Peeta; you don't need to give me explicit details." He smiled against my palm, and I removed it.

"I'll get you to talk about these things without making you feel so embarrassed, sex is something natural."

"I think that's going to cost you more than the act of giving myself to you…"

"We'll see about that…"

His lips went back to playing with mine while his right hand rested over the cloth again, which had slowly lost its coolness and therefore its healing power. The entrance to my body kept burning in an astounding manner, it wasn't an agonizing pain, but since it was in my most sensitive zone, it was extremely bothersome, even though the process by which the damage was caused was the best moment of my entire life.

"Do you still not want to put the ointment on?" I shook my head.

"I'll do it."

"Perfect…" He picked up the bottle of ointment and unscrewed the lid.

"I said I would do it, not that I'm letting you do it…" I smiled after seeing the incredulous and disappointed look on his face. "It's not that I don't want you to touch me… but it embarrasses me."

"You need to stop acting so ashamed around me, my hands have touched every single inch of your body, Katniss… it's too late to blush."

"I can't help it… maybe it's easier for other girls…"

"I don't care how easy it is for other girls, what I want is for you not to be embarrassed when I look at you or touch you…" I sighed.

"I can't help it." I repeated. I fixed my eyes on his, which still held that hint of discontent. "But…" I took a deep breath, "You can look while I do it, no?" I managed to say it almost without stuttering or dragging the words, feeling the blood gathering on my face, I was completely insane, I was going to let him see me so exposed again, being fully aware of it, since this time I wouldn't be aroused. I saw how his gaze changed; his eyes began to shine at the same time that they darkened.

I took the bottle of ointment and dipped my fingers into its pasty contents; the feeling of it grossed me out a little. It was a bit greasy, and it had a distinct odor to it, a sour and penetrating smell, but incredibly enough, as soon as it touched my skin, it turned creamy, only to disappear over the zone as if I hadn't applied anything, leaving only a mild pain that reminded me of the cupcakes. I took a good amount of it with my index and middle fingers. My gaze traveled over the bottle to Peeta's eyes, which were fixed on my fingers. I breathed in deeply and slowly separated my legs, looking away from Peeta's face. I was sure that I was more nervous and more embarrassed now than when I had him on top of me, about to enter me. I decided to close my eyes so that I could avoid finding his gaze as I lowered my fingers into my intimacy. I had to introduce them into me a bit so that I could reach to the center of my aching. I tightened my eyes and teeth as I spread the salve, even though the sensation was nice, and for a nanosecond I almost lost myself, I was tempted to dig them in more just like Peeta had done with his finger. But that idea left as fast as it came, I had felt completely absurd.

I opened my eyes without stopping from applying the ointment and saw how the good boy with the bread had his eyes right where my hand was. The blush that I felt dazed me and became even stronger when my gaze descended to the center of his anatomy and observed how his manhood was ready for attack again. I instantly removed my fingers from me.

"Peeta…" his eyes headed down to where mine were fixed.

"It's a normal reaction," I noticed him become embarrassed. "I'm sorry…"

"I don't know what I was thinking when I said that you could look…"

"In that you believe that I'm a gentleman… and my mind may be… but my body… if it likes something, it reacts accordingly."

"It reacts too much."

"It's logical… you're way too sensual," he groaned. "But you don't notice it, you do it unconsciously… and that's what drives me crazy… like seeing how you touch yourself… even if it was just for the cream…"

"I wish I could become aware of those things…"

"Why?"

"I like how you are, love…" I kissed him sweetly, covering myself with the sheet; I noticed how he smiled against my lips but didn't say anything about me covering myself.

"What are we going to do with…?" I directed my gaze at his hardness.

"Take a cold shower while you rest." The idea of him leaving me hit me again. "It won't even take me five minutes to come back…"

Even though my face possibly reflected sadness, I let him go as I settled into the bed, turning everything in my head; I still couldn't believe that I had been able to give myself to Peeta that way, as the poets said it: "body and soul."

* * *

__

_**Teaser:** _

" _What did I say about biting your lip?"_

" _I don't know…" I bit it again, of course I remembered it perfectly, and this time I did it fully aware of it, with the slight hope that he would kiss me again._

" _Don't do it… for my sanity." I smiled. "It drives me crazy…"_

" _Well then fix it." I swear that I tried to sound seductive, but my anxiety wouldn't allow me, and I ended up sounding like the usual Katniss._


	19. Chapter 19

As soon as I snuggled in, I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply into the pillow. It had the same scent as Peeta, the smell of freshly baked bread, as I was occupying his side of the bed. I pat the pillow and smiled. I still couldn't believe what had happened in this bed. Peeta and I had been together. We'd made love. And it had been magical. Sappily magical. Peeta was without a doubt the most caring and tender boy in the world. But he was also passionate. His hands had caressed me without fear. I was sure that he knew every single part of my body and the reaction that he caused me when his hands traveled here and there. There were too many caresses to not know.

He also knew which spots to touch and when so that my breathing would accelerate. He knew how to kiss my neck, the exact moment in which to use his teeth, the moment in which my clothes were starting to bother me. And I was sure that he knew that point in our touches in which there was no way that I could say no to him, and yet he never pressured me. I had to ask it from him.

But when I asked him for it, I was completely nervous and a knot formed in my stomach, I didn't hesitate and my voice didn't betray me by breaking. I had to hold back my laughter when I saw the look of surprise mixed with pleasure on his face. After that he had kissed me sweetly and for a second I thought that he wouldn't accept, that I would have to swear that I wanted it to happen, even beg him, because I believed that he would think that I was doing it for him. But he believed me, and a few minutes later he was entering me.

I would be lying if I said that it didn't hurt. A sharp pain went through me at that moment, but Peeta's warmth in my interior, so deeply inside me, so mine, was worth it. Yes, because Peeta was mine more than ever. Only mine.

I shook my head so that I could clear myself of those thoughts; I never thought like this, it wasn't me. I had always thought that no one could actually belong to anyone, only to him or herself, and yet here I was taking possession of Peeta, and the worst of all was that I was enjoying these thoughts. Did Peeta feel the same? I still remembered the moment in which he had taken me by the wrists and murmured in my ear that I was his…so I supposed that he did.

I put my hand under the covers and placed it over my navel, my fingers brushing the highest part of my intimacy, that zone that was supposed to be covered in curls, but because of the Capitol was smooth and soft like it had been when I was a child. I remembered how much I hated it this way, but Peeta hadn't seemed to mind. I remembered how his eyes had directed towards that point after all of my clothes had disappeared from my body; how he moistened his lips while looking at it, all of the time he spent on the sofa meticulously observing it. He definitely didn't dislike it. Although I didn't understand why they had removed every single hair on my body, leaving me with only the hair on my head while they had left Peeta the way he had been before. He still had all of his natural hair. It was much better this way now that I thought about it, because I adored that line that traveled from his bellybutton all the way to that zone that had been forbidden until a few days ago. How many times had I thought about it? How many times had my memory taken me back to that first time I touched him? How many times had my imagination gotten ahead of me, making me think about my hand drifting farther than allowed?

I smiled as I remembered. If Peeta thought that he was a desperate pervert for wanting to be with me, what did that make me? Even if I denied it and tried to make those thoughts disappear, I had had them too; my imagination had flown to compromising positions every now and then. And then there were the dreams. Those dreams interlaced with my nightmares. Ultimately, those were the most numerous, and the nightmares were scarce. The same thing happened when I had those, Peeta would end up kissing me and biting my lips, touching me tenderly, until his hand touched my sex, and then as if it were an act of magic he would be on top of me like he had been before, making love to me. But unlike that afternoon, my dreams didn't contain as much pleasure. I didn't feel anything physical. It was all sentimental, affection, love, tenderness, and satisfaction for having him like that.

Obviously I would never tell him anything about those dreams; even I tried to erase them from my memory. Even I acted as if they didn't exist… could I handle them now? The dreams could possibly become more intense, because now I knew what it felt like to be in that situation; I knew the sensations that having Peeta on top of me caused me as he entered me. I doubted that I would be able to handle them, besides I was way too ashamed about him finding out about them. Curse my imagination…I was sure that it would betray me one night, I would talk in my sleep and Peeta would know that I'd been having those embarrassing dreams.

I made my hand descend a little more, touching my intimacy at the same time that a shiver went through my spine. It was a sensation very much like the one that I felt when Peeta kissed me with insistence. I directed my fingers inside of my entrance and I was awed at how fast the ointment had worked, it didn't hurt at all. I noticed that the moisture was still there and remembered the moment in which I had applied the ointment, those burning desires to introduce my fingers farther inside of me. Surprised at what this meant, I quickly removed my hand and tried to get some sleep just like Peeta had suggested.

I didn't get much rest, because a few minutes later Peeta entered wearing nothing but a miniscule towel around his waist. A new electric shock ran through me, centering in between my legs. He was so damn attractive this way. I smiled stupidly, and he returned the smile as he approached me to kiss my lips in a way that was too chaste for my taste. I must have wrinkled my nose, since he chuckled softly, touching my nose gently. I bit my lip when he went towards the closet to pick out his clothes; we had decided that he would keep things here, since we practically lived together.

"What did I say about biting your lip?"

"I don't know…" I bit it again, of course I remembered it perfectly, and this time I did it fully aware of it, with the slight hope that he would kiss me again.

"Don't do it… for my sanity." I smiled. "It drives me crazy…"

"Well then fix it." I swear that I tried to sound seductive, but my anxiety wouldn't allow me, and I ended up sounding like the usual Katniss.

"Love, I need to make dinner… you'll be starving."

"I'm not really that hungry," I lied, even though I was a bit hungry, but my biggest hunger was something else, I was hungry for kisses and touches.

"Katniss, you know you don't lie well." I sighed, frowning. "I'll let you know when it's ready."

"Well then I'll take a shower in the meantime." I was about to add that it would be a cold shower, but my embarrassment stopped me.

I got up without letting go of the sheet, keeping it close to my chest so that it would cover me.

"Katniss…" he sighed. "What did I say about covering yourself from me? It's absurd…"

"Absurd or not Peeta, it's…embarrassing." I didn't understand my shame either, I was wishing that he would touch me at the same that I was covering myself so that he wouldn't see me.

"As you wish…"

He placed his lips over mine and then caressed them with his tongue, my own tongue coming out to seek him as they molded together in a rapid game that became faster and more intense each time. His mouth descended to bite my chin slowly to then outline my jaw while his has hands caressed my shoulders. My breathing became erratic within seconds. His lips began to leave sweet kisses over my neck, covering them with tender nibbles. I let the sheet fall as I wrapped my arms around his neck so that I could play with the locks on his moist hair. Peeta placed his hand on my back and caressed it as he descended down my sides, resting his hands on my hips. He separated his lips from mine. He panted slightly, just like me.

"You can go take a shower now," he looked at my bare body with a crooked smile.

"What? You did it to… "I huffed. "You did it on purpose!" Peeta chuckled.

"You're a…"

"What?" He grinned, amused.

"A…a…a… a damn liar, Peeta Mellark!" I clenched my fists, pretending to be mad, holding back my laughter, knowing that he had noticed but wanting to play along.

"A liar? For wanting my girlfriend naked?" That word again, it repelled me.

"For deceiving me into doing it…"

"If I may recall, Miss Katniss Everdeen, that you were already nude beneath that sheet, and on your own will."

"And hasn't it occurred to you…" I gave him a short kiss on the lips; I had finally been able to put on that damned seductive tone, "…Mr. Mellark… that what your girlfriend wanted was for you to see her naked, but on the bed beneath you again?" I put on my best smile, or at least I tried to, because saying that had made me nervous and I ended up leaving the room completely naked.

As soon as I left the room, I made my way to the bathroom in large strides. I opened and closed the door, leaning against it as I breathed rapidly. I looked in the mirror as my cheeks began to flush to the reddish tone that was becoming typical of me. Although, to be honest, I was happy because the blush was just appearing now and not when I had said those strange words to Peeta.

Before I had run out, I had seen the look of shock on his face, I was sure that he hadn't expected that coming from me. I suppose that he expected me to be a submissive girl, one who was pliant, who you had to propose it to all the time. Well he was wrong, I wasn't going to be one of those girls, I was no longer going to be the innocent and immaculate Katniss, however much it embarrassed me to say those things, I would try to seduce him, just like that book that I had found had said. I sighed in relief when I heard him going down the stairs, I would think about how to confront him later.

I turned on the water and even though it wasn't the cold one at all, it was way under its optimal temperature; I need to get rid of the heat in my center. I got in the shower, trying to stop thinking about Peeta moving over me and his heat coming in and out of my interior. When I thought I had achieved it, I washed my hair and body, rinsed it, and then came out as I wrapped myself in a dry towel.

I went to the bedroom wearing only a towel just like Peeta had done before. I decided to wear something comfortable to walk around the house, to which my outfit consisted of a simple gray t-shirt and knee-length black pants. Both were made of soft cotton and elastic. Even then I chose another pair of panties from the Capitol. This time I chose some that were bright red, practically transparent except for the center, the piece of cloth that would cover my intimacy, and they were also decorated with exquisite butterfly embroidery in the same shade of red, so that at least they weren't as intrepid. I prayed that they weren't uncomfortable, although to be honest, even if they were, I would wear them anyway so that Peeta could see me in them. I knew that he liked these clothes; I had seen it in his eyes that afternoon while he had undressed me and found himself surprised by my lingerie set. I imagined the look on his face when he saw them on my skin as I put them on. Surprise, satisfaction, and arousal, they were the three things I had seen mixed on his face as he lowered my pants. Would the same thing happen with these?

As I finished dressing, I brushed my wet hair and went downstairs to find Peeta in the kitchen. The room already carried the scent of an exquisite stew. I inhaled heavily and my stomach growled as it protested in hunger.

"I admit it," Peeta jumped as he spun around to face me. "I'm starving…"

* * *

_**Teaser:** _

" _Oh god, Katniss…"_

" _What?" My breathing was betraying me; he was making me gasp in an almost embarrassing manner._

" _You're not wearing a bra…" I shook my head and he kissed me again with that same hunger that was so characteristic of him. That hunger that turned him from good boy to bad boy._

_Peeta descended to play with the most sensitive part of my breasts. He kissed them and licked them, ripping intense moans from my throat. I hadn't even noticed that he had finally uncovered my eyes until my hand dipped into his pants and squeezed that hard piece of flesh._


	20. Chapter 20

Peeta had his back to me while he centered his attention on a pot, and he turned and smiled at the sound of my voice. My heart leaped as I saw his white smile again. It was completely addictive; I could not be without it for very long. I returned the smile as I approached him to see what he was cooking. The pot was filled with a mixture of vegetables that gave off an exquisite odor and made my stomach growl again, so loudly this time that Peeta heard it and started laughing.

"It's not funny; it's just my stomach asking for nourishment, silly."

"It is, because you said that you weren't hungry." I sighed.

"Will it take long to prepare?"

"Just a little while…" he tossed a few chunks of meat inside the pot, and from the looks of it, I guessed that it was goose. "But I've been thinking about your hunger, and I've prepared a bit of cheese and apple."

I turned towards the table and there it was, slices of spongy bread with creamy goat cheese and slices of apple perfectly placed over it with cinnamon scattered on it. My mouth watered at the sight, I hadn't noticed that they were there; my eyes had been centered completely on him. That simple meal was the only thing that could possibly bring me a good memory of the games. Peeta and I had been in the cave, exchanging food and kisses, me protecting him, and even though I had been terrified at the moment, and I had been acting during a major part of the time, there were still good memories to recall. Like the first time that I felt that hunger inside of me and the flames engulfing me thanks to one of those kisses.

"Oh…" I moaned as I took one into my mouth, feeling as if I hadn't eaten in years; I had become too accustomed to eating regular meals.

"It's delicious, Peeta, you're such a great cook!"

"It's just apples and cheese…I just put them together."

"Same difference," I frowned. "It's yummy and you made it. I don't care." He smiled widely and continued attending the stew and vegetables.

I sat on one of the chairs, near the plate with the slices of bread, and I ended up observing how the muscles on his arms tensed and relaxed as he removed the food. My eyes kept traveling over the expanse of his back. His shirt fit him tightly, outlining his muscles perfectly beneath the thin cloth. And the cloth moved with every slight muscular contraction, making me grin. I bit my lip as I remembered how my fingers had dug into them while Peeta had been making love to me. My core throbbed for the umpteenth time that day, making me squirm uncomfortably on the chair. Damn it, was I turning into a disgusting pervert now? Peeta was corrupting me that was for sure, we were doing it as a couple, and even though it made me feel uncomfortable, I didn't dislike the idea, I liked it when Peeta made me feel what I had prohibited myself from feeling.

"What are you thinking about, Katniss? You're really quiet."

"I'm not thinking…"" I half-lied. "I'm just watching you…I like looking at your back."

"My back?" he turned to look at me.

"That's what I said…"

"And what's so special about it?"

"Besides the fact that it's yours?" The words stumbled out of my mouth without thinking, so I regretted it when I heard them coming out of my lips, but I kept going, "It's large … wide… muscular… strong… perfect." He smiled.

"Are there more things that you like about me?"

"I wouldn't kiss you if I only liked your back…"

"I already know that… I meant to say that I would like to know what you like most about me."

"Your eyelashes," I think that the speed with which I said that frightened Peeta, but a second later he was smiling. "They're so blonde that you can only see them well when there's a lot of light… but at the same time they're so long that it seems that they're going to get all tangled up, but they never do… they're… perfect too."

"Anything else?" He had a wide smile on lips, and a slight blush on his cheeks, and that gave me the courage to continue.

"Yes…" Without stopping to think, I lifted his shirt as I brushed the pad of my fingers over the soft line of hair on his navel. "I really like this part… these… little hairs…" I looked into his eyes, seeing embarrassment, something that I hardly ever saw in them. "And I don't understand why… I suppose that the word that I would use to define them is  _sexy,_  but I've honestly never put much thought into what's sexy and what isn't," I sighed, I was rambling too much. I looked down, embarrassed.

"You're sexy," he tilted my chin up gently so that I would look at him.

"That's not true… I'll accept you thinking I'm beautiful… but sexy?" I grinned. "Definitely not."

"You haven't seen how you look naked…"

"I've seen myself naked more times than you."

"But not the way I've seen you during our… our intimate moments…" I blushed deeply. Perfect. "It's completely sexy how you make that face, or the way that you move your hips when you're seeking my touch."

"Fine, you win." I didn't want to keep listening to him, that subject make me blush too much. But I definitely couldn't be classified as a sexy person.

"That's right; I win because I'm right, even though you may not believe it." I sighed as he turned back around to tend to the pot.

When the food was ready, we both set the table in silence and then we sat down to eat. That night, Peeta sat beside me rather than in front of me like he used to. While I took a chunk of the vegetables that Peeta had cooked, he passed his fingers over my neck, making tiny shapes, drawing them. I smiled against the food and I put the fork in my mouth, savoring the exquisite food. He descended down my neck slowly until he reached my cleavage, making my skin rise.

"Peeta…" I dragged out the last syllable.

"Hmm?" He continued down my neckline without listening to my warning, caressing me sweetly.

I let him keep going, surrendering to his touch, but I didn't fall behind as I also caressed his neck, directing myself to the hairs on the nape of his neck, tangling them in my fingers. Peeta smiled as he looked directly into my eyes.

And then it happened. Peeta launched himself at my lips as if he had never kissed me before, tangling his fingers in my hair and seeking my tongue as if he needed it to live. I let him enter my mouth as my lips played with his. He got up from the chair and made me get up too so that he could press his body against mine. Our kiss began to become more intense, our breaths began to accelerate and the fire within me began to ignite. His hands were all over my back until he placed his palms on each of my butt cheeks, which were squeezed without mercy. I moaned against Peeta's lips as I noticed that pressure, and my hands flew to introduce themselves beneath his shirt to caress his firm abdomen.

I climbed on the table myself and let him place himself in between my legs at the same time that I took off his shirt. In that moment I could finally touch his perfect torso, which was completely naked just for me. I leaned over his neck and began kissing it with devotion, running over it and leaving a trail of kisses from his chin to his clavicle. Little by little I centered my attention to his chest, which I also kissed sweetly, covering it with tiny bites. Peeta's breathing had gone completely erratic, which only caused my crotch to throb aberrantly. My hands made a path down along with my kisses, until arriving to the line of hair traversing it, and surprisingly, losing themselves into the boy with the bread's pants, rubbing all of his length over his underwear. Damn it, he was just as aroused as I was, I still wasn't used to that heat beneath my fingers. Peeta moaned loudly, seeking my mouth again so that he could drink from it. Without waiting long, he began taking off my shirt with a rapid tug, although without understanding why, he left it halfway over my head, only covering my eyes. I searched for his lips blindly and became frustrated when I didn't find them.

"Oh god, Katniss…"

"What?" My breathing was betraying me; he was making me gasp in an almost embarrassing manner.

"You're not wearing a bra…" I shook my head and he kissed me again with that same hunger that was so characteristic of him. That hunger that turned him from good boy to bad boy.

Peeta descended to play with the most sensitive part of my breasts. He kissed them and licked them, ripping intense moans from my throat. I hadn't even noticed that he had finally uncovered my eyes until my hand dipped into his pants and squeezed that hard piece of flesh. It wasn't long before Peeta moaned against one of my nipples. I rubbed that part of his anatomy over the cloth, so that I could then lower his pants and stick my hand beneath that last article of clothing that was separating us. His heat hit me again and filled my hand, making the palpitations on my intimacy almost painful, and my underwear to the point where it was blatantly wet.

His descended down my sides and without waiting they ripped off my pants with one pull of the elastic waistband. Peeta separated his lips from mine and I heard him groan raggedly, and for a minute I was afraid that there was something wrong with my panties that had been especially selected for him. But as if getting rid of any of my doubts, Peeta kissed me again, biting my lips anxiously, it was clear what he wanted from me.

My hand caressed him again, going up and down over his entire length while the other was able to make the clothes that bothered me lower down a little bit. Peeta stole another moan from me by passing another finger over my panties, pressing in between my folds, just in that spot filled with pleasure.

"Do it again," I murmured as I moved my hips against his hand, seeking his caress. When he touched me, my head fell back, accompanied by a moan.

His teeth dug into me at the same time that he parted the cloth and his hand came face to face with the most sensitive flesh in my body. He touched my pleasure point softly, but that tender massage made my throat emit intense moans.

_Dindong dindong dindong dindong dindong dindong dindong dindong dindong dindong dindong dindong dindong dindong dindong._

"Not now…" Peeta groaned without removing his hands from me.

_Dindong dindong dindong dindong dindong dindong dindong dindong dindong dindong dindong._

"You should definitely ….let me kick his ass…" I managed to say in between pants.

"I'll do it myself." His kiss was much too tender, an unequivocal sign that our touches on the kitchen table were over.

"We could both do it," I supposed that my lips formed a ridiculous pout, since Peeta lifted one of the corners of my lips with his finger very gently.

_Dindong dindong dindong dindong dindong dindong dindong dindong dindong dindong dindong dindong_

He parted himself from me, leaving me cold and overexcited, but I had assumed it, so I got down from the table to put my clothes back on. Peeta readjusted his so that his erection wasn't noticeable and went to open the door for our unavoidable guest.

"You're going to burn the fucking bell!" I snapped as soon as I saw our mentor.

"Calm down, Sweetheart," he placed a hand on his head in signal of pain and extended the other one out to me, holding an envelope. I took it suspiciously.

"What is this?"

"Take a look at it yourself, although I didn't expect to find out like this, I thought we were friends."

The envelope was marked with the Capitol symbol and had been sent by Paylor herself. I opened it slowly, in front of the attentive gazes of Peeta and our mentor. I took out the piece of paper, a paper decorated with golden trims, and read.

" _We inform you that have been invited to the celebration_

_Of the eighteenth birthday of our esteemed Mockingjay,_

_which will be celebrated the 8_ _th_ _of May in the Justice Building in District 12 beginning at 20:00_

_Black tie attire will be required."_

I began to hyperventilate as I read that simple phrase. Celebration and birthday were two words that did not go along well. I had never celebrated my birthday. What was there to celebrate? That I was a year closer of entering in the reaping? That I was still in it? That I could be chosen that year? No, I was definitely not doing it this year either.

"Katniss? Peeta's voice sounded completely far away.

"I…I…" I stuttered. "No…"

I crumpled up the envelope in my fist and then threw it at Haymitch's face as I went running out of the room so that I could take refuge under the sheets and prevent them from seeing me cry.

I heard Peeta trying to follow me and Haymitch stopping him. I heard them talking about the celebration. And in between tears, I heard them pronounce several names, including Johanna's and Gale's, and that last name made me shudder.

I closed my eyes tightly, wishing that they would shut up; I even covered my ears, but the words that I had heard a few minutes ago drilled into my brain. May 8th, my birthday… tomorrow was May 8th, tomorrow was my birthday, tomorrow there would be a party in my honor that I would not attend.

* * *

__

_**Teaser:** _

_My moans then turned into authentic cries that flooded the entire forest, silencing the birds. Right then and there it was only me and him, he possessed me with brusqueness, it wasn't sweet, and it wasn't attentive. It was just sex, rough sex. And I loved it. I didn't want it to stop. I bit his neck so that I could drown my screams while the fire in my belly grew and began to expand, it wouldn't be long before I exploded. I moved my own hips, making the electric discharges concentrate right in that spot where our bodies united._


	21. Chapter 21

 

 

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I opened my eyes to the annoying light filtering in from the window. The sun was peeking through it brightly even though the clock was claiming that it was only 8 AM. I turned to face the other side of the bed, only to prove that it was empty. I got up and put on the first thing I saw in the closet, something dark and comfortable, I needed to hunt, and I needed it now.

I got out of the house without even checking to see if Peeta was in it, and ran as fast as I could, crossing through Victor's Village. I arrived at the Seam within a matter of minutes and ran through its dusty streets until I was in the meadow. Walking on it made shivers run down my spine as I remembered the dozens of people who rested here in this place forever. I quickly crossed the fence that separated the district from the forest and ran towards the tree that hid my beloved bow. As soon as I held it in my hand, I went into the forest without a second thought so that I could drown my fears.

My silent but ferocious steps began to look for prey that I could take home; I needed to hunt, I knew that it was the only thing that would calm me down on a day like this. Today was my birthday, the day in which I had come into the world without knowing what awaited me, without knowing that I would become a tribute. There was only one year in which I had been happy about my birthday, and that was the year that I turned twelve and could finally obtain the damn tesserae with which we fed our difficulties.

I soft murmur took me out of my thoughts and it sounded big, could it be a deer? I couldn't believe it; a huge deer was running towards me. I took an arrow from my quiver, aimed, and…

"What? What are you doing here? You shouldn't be here."

"I wanted to congratulate you." I clucked my tongue.

"Don't do it, you know…you know I don't…"

"I also wanted to give you a present… away from everybody… so that it would be special."

"You didn't have to."

"I wanted to… I want… to give it to you…" I waited as I looked into his eyes for an endless minute.

"Well?" I whispered.

In that moment, his lips crashed against mine in an almost brusque manner. Immediately, without letting me say anything, he sought my tongue, and it opposed no resistance. I played with his happily, in a game that was starting to drive me insane. The heat in my belly was beginning to make presence, as it normally did with a simple kiss.

His hands began to play with the edge of shirt even though they quickly went to the next level and touched the heated skin on my navel, and that simple contact made the rest of my body tremble, pressing closer to his and seeking his touch. He seemed to understand my gesture completely as he tried to press close to me too, squeezing my waist tightly, digging his fingers into the marks that were already there. Without breaking from our wet kiss, he made me walk back a few steps until my back slammed violently against the tree trunk. I moaned in pain but I didn't care, feeling his lips over my neck afterwards, kissing it with devotion to then leave me a few nibbles here and there. Bites that immediately began to rob mild gasps that I was trying to hold back with all of my strength; this wasn't supposed to be happening here.

His hands abandoned the sensitive skin of my hips and began to struggle with the button on my pants. I noticed how he became frustrated at not being able to undo it and I had to bite down my bottom lip so as to not scream when I felt the tug from him tearing the hook. I gave in and looked for his mouth again, almost literally eating out his lips; I bit them and kissed them as if it were my mission in life. A new moan escaped from my throat when I felt how my pants slid down from my legs, and then without further warning his right hand squeezed my intimacy over my underwear. I cried out without being able to stop it and bit my lips even harder as the palpitations were becoming impossible, to the point where they were now painful and the moisture increased from underneath his hands. It was perfectly obvious how the transparent red cloth became wet, and with it his heated hands, which began moving softly with a lingering to and fro, adding more pressure to my folds, getting to that part of my anatomy that made me scream so embarrassingly and made me convulse.

The hand that I had tangled in his hair did not want to feel less important than his, so it went down to unbutton his pants, which didn't cost me any trouble at all, and then I slipped it inside of his underwear, caressing the skin of his hardness with the palm of my hand. The heat that it gave off intoxicated me, and as if it were a reflex, I wrapped my hand around his hardness and began stroking it with soft, slow movements. His moans didn't take long to come and he abandoned my mouth, throwing his head back and leaving his neck exposed, which I attacked with my kisses and tongue while my hand worked him faster and faster each time.

"Katniss…"

"Do it…do it now…" I murmured against his lips.

I soon noticed that my panties had disappeared and I had my legs wrapped around his legs at the same time that I felt a hard pressure against my crotch. I bit his neck hard as my fingers threaded into his locks.

"Do it now…" I shifted my hips against his member, in that moment we weren't making love, it was sex. Just sex. And I didn't care, I wanted it to be that way, I just wanted the carnal pleasure that he was giving me.

He simply positioned himself over my entrance and thrust into me with the force that was so characteristic of him. I moaned with intensity as I saw him hovering me over his length, trying to adjust me to his size, looking straight into his eyes. His gray eyes were so darkened that I could barely see their original color, I was completely sure that my mine looked exactly the same. He pulled out almost all the way without separating his eyes from mine as he thrust in again, this time even harder, making my back bruise against the rough tree trunk.

"Gale!" His name slipped out of my mouth mixed in with a cry of pleasure while his powerful muscles contracted due to the aggressive movements he was making against my hips.

My moans then turned into authentic cries that flooded the entire forest, silencing the birds. Right then and there it was only me and him, he possessed me with brusqueness, it wasn't sweet, and it wasn't attentive. It was just sex, rough sex. And I loved it. I didn't want it to stop. I bit his neck so that I could drown my screams while the fire in my belly grew and began to expand, it wouldn't be long before I exploded. I moved my own hips, making the electric discharges concentrate right in that spot where our bodies united.

I squeezed my eyes shut the moment I started to notice that I was exploding. But it didn't happen, I opened my eyes and I was tossed over the bed, my bed. I looked around, disoriented, panting and bathing in sweat and what was worse was that my sex pounded in a completely embarrassing manner. I tried to slip out of bed nervously, but just then I noticed Peeta's arm around my waist, his arm wrapping me in a sweet and protective manner. The stinging in my eyes produced incipient tears that didn't take long to come. I bit my lip to hold them back, but it was useless. An elusive tear rolled down my pillow, soon followed by a couple more. I didn't understand…

It had all been a dream. A stupid and disgusting dream. A dream in which Gale and I had sex. And in my dream, I liked it. I liked it a lot. Completely disgusting. Never, never had I ever thought about being in that situation with Gale, in fact, it wasn't until I had started to like Peeta's touches that I had even started to think about intimate contact, I had never even dreamt about kissing until Peeta and I had started doing it.

And now I was dreaming about Gale, Gale and I together… together but without love. I had been conscious of the fact during my dream. Even though I had enjoyed his kisses and touches and they ignited my fire, I didn't feel that adoration towards his body like I did when I was with Peeta in reality. I hadn't felt anything special when I had heard him moan, while hearing Peeta moan made shiver from head to toe, his hoarse voice murmuring my name, or simply a sigh thanks to one of my touches; all of these filled my heart. But in the dream, I had felt nothing, emotionally speaking.

But the arousal was another thing that I needed to take into account, and it was something I couldn't deny. The junction between my legs proved what he had provoked in me during the dream. And I hated it. Now I hated myself. I had betrayed myself, and what was worse, I had betrayed Peeta's love. What if I didn't love him the way I was supposed to, after all? He didn't deserve someone by his side who dreamt about another man … he didn't deserve it… but… I needed him to stay alive… Peeta was my life.

I turned slowly to my side and looked at him face to face. He was devastatingly handsome when he was asleep. A rebellious lock fell over his forehead, which was completely relaxed, his blonde eyelashes seemed even longer, and his mouth drew a slight smile, a sign that he was having a tranquil dream. I smiled against the immense yearning that I had to kiss him. But I held back so as not to awake him. I wasn't sure if I could face his blue eyes after having that atrocious dream.

An hour could have passed when my stomach began to protest for food. In all of that time, my eyes had not stopped roaming over every single inch of Peeta's face. Although, to be honest, my eyes kept stopping over Peeta's lips more and more often. They weren't particularly thick, or particularly flushed, but they had a masculine, strong air about them that demanded to be kissed constantly. And they were also soft, too soft against my skin. I had to shake my head to stop thinking about his lips running down the skin on my body.

I gently removed his arm and got out of bed carefully. As soon as I stood up, I groaned. Soreness. If yesterday's had been painful, today's was frightening. My thighs burned, especially their interior. And my hips were no better. They hurt. It was obviously a bearable pain, but they hurt due to the new movements I had taken up on, even though I would go through that pain a million more times to feel the way I had felt when I was with Peeta. Now more than ever, Peeta was MY Peeta.

I tiptoed out of the room and went into the bathroom. I turned on the shower and as soon as it was at the right temperature, I removed my clothes and slipped beneath the hot stream of water. The water burned against my skin to the point that it slightly scalded me, leaving my skin completely red. But I needed this. I needed the hot water to relax my muscles and clear my ideas. Or rather, purge them. I needed to understand why I had that stupid dream. And then I remembered. I couldn't help it, and I punched the shower wall. I would see him today. I had heard Haymitch mention it. I would see Gale today. He would be here, in District 12.

I wasn't ready to face him. I didn't want to see him. I didn't want him to see me weakened and falling apart in front of him. But I didn't want to ignore him and run away either. My intention was to not go to that damn party. But I wasn't stupid, I knew perfectly well that Gale would come looking for me. It was that irrational. I had to think of something and I had to think of it now. For my mental wellness.

Thanks to the water that ran down my face, it took me a while to notice the tears that were running down my face. And I didn't notice until I was having difficulty breathing because of my sobbing. I cursed myself. I cursed myself and the rest of the world. The shower tiles received one punch after another. After the third, blood spurted from my knuckles. But it wasn't until the sixth that I stopped to get out of the shower and the bathroom without even bothering to turn off the faucet, coming out dripping wet until I was wrapped around Peeta, who was still sleeping.

I noticed how he jumped up against my arm, but a few seconds later his arms wrapped around me and stroked my wet hair. He lulled me as if I were a lost child. His hand travelled over my damp back.

"Is everything all right, Katniss?"

"No… no, it's not… nothing's all right…"

* * *

_**A/N-** _ _Well, well, what dreams Katniss has! Will she tell Peeta about her dream? What will she do to forget about it? We still don't know if she will go to the party, and it's in a few hours! Some of your fears that she was with Gale came halfway true, and yes Haymitch seems to keep interrupting them on purpose. Will there be a third time? Knowing him… Anyway, thanks for reviewing!_

_**T/N-** _ _I recently made an AO3 account, and I've uploaded this there along with all of my other fics, and there's a direct link from there to the original story. The details should be on my page. Also, may I just say that it took some extra inspiration to translate the Galeniss sex? Hot damn. I had to listen to the "Candy Shop" cover by the Dan Band because that's my go-to smut song. And then I went back to my usual Everlark playlist, haha! Damn you, Katniss._

_**Teaser:** _

_His kisses didn't stop at my torso and instead continued down towards my navel. He kissed my stomach and around my bellybutton, passing his tongue over it, leaving a pleasurable trace of saliva as he then blew on it, making a shiver run through my body. By then the pounding in my crotch had become so intense that I was wishing that his fingers would touch it. But they didn't; his lips went down to my sex as he kissed the zone over my folds._

**Fire Kisses!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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His arms wrapped around me sweetly while he pressed his lips to my forehead over and over again. My tears and my own body soaked Peeta's shirt, but his arms wouldn't let go of me. I lifted my head slowly and gazed at him with my tear-soaked face, my eyes stung horribly, it was easy to guess that they were extremely red. But I didn't care, and I sought his lips to give them the sweetest of all kisses I had ever given them. He caressed his lips against mine and then my tongue ran over them, licking them.

When I was about to stop moving my tongue, his came out and licked mine with the same sweetness that I had used on him before. He then ran through my lips and kissed me, maintaining the same tenderness, making me lay back on the bed; I think that he cared as much as I did if I got wet or not, meaning not at all. His lips ran over the line of my jaw with such delicate kisses that they were nearly imperceptible. They kept going over my face and descending to my neck, where they were entertained for a while, although too slow for my liking. Even then I didn't complain, since his lips passed directly over one of my nipples, rolling over it so that his tongue could caress it and steal a moan from my lips. My hands tangled in his hair gently while he continued his ministrations over my breasts. I don't remember the exact moment in which my tears stopped, but I noticed when Peeta's eyes landed on mine at the same time that he used his teeth to trap one of my erect nipples and pull on it, ripping another moan from me, this one more intense than the one before. He smiled as he passed his tongue over the bitten nipple without breaking eye contact, and I couldn't help but smile back, if this was his new way of making me feel better, then I welcomed it.

His kisses didn't stop at my torso and instead continued down towards my navel. He kissed my stomach and around my bellybutton, passing his tongue over it, leaving a pleasurable trace of saliva as he then blew on it, making a shiver run through my body. By then the pounding in my crotch had become so intense that I was wishing that his fingers would touch it. But they didn't; his lips went down to my sex as he kissed the zone over my folds.

"Peeta…" his lips formed a wide smile and then his tongue slipped in between my folds, this time ripping a real cry of pleasure from me.

I trapped Peeta's head in between legs and I looked at him confused, I had no idea what he was doing, this was new to me, but I couldn't deny the fact that having his tongue running over this part of my anatomy aroused and embarrassed me equally. Peeta spread my legs open and looked up at me from that position.

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" I just shook my head. "Should I keep going?" I nodded, biting my bottom lip.

Peeta's smile frightened me a little; I noticed it was….devious? But I wasn't able to watch him much longer, since as soon I felt his tongue over my intimacy again, I closed my eyes, moaning. It was completely embarrassing, yet so pleasurable that I would swallow my stupid shame at being so exposed. I felt how his tongue ran over that part to then center itself on that pleasurable spot. If his fingers drove me crazy, what he was doing with his tongue was killing me with pleasure. The softness and moisture put together, mixed in with my own wetness made it glide in an almost magical way over me. My screams increased when I noticed my boy with the bread lose one of his fingers inside me, moving it in a wonderful manner, going in and out.

I squeezed my eyes even more, letting Peeta do whatever he wanted with me while I wreathed and cried out in pleasure, no longer remembering why I had been crying. His hands held on to my hips, which I supposed was to stop me from moving, and in only a few minutes, the heat in my center exploded, running through each vein and artery in my body.

Although Peeta's head became trapped in between my legs again, he didn't stop, and he continued licking me until my grip loosened and escalated as he kissed my lips sweetly. I played with his tongue as I noticed that I tasted a different flavor in his mouth. My own taste, the taste of my arousal, the taste of my moisture, anyone would think it was repugnant, but far from being it, my taste, noticing it on his lips, made the fire inside me ignite again, and this time with more force.

My hands lowered down directly to Peeta's pants and I thanked god that he only used sweatpants to sleep so that I could pull them down easily. My eyes landed over his underwear, where I could see his arousal begging to be released from them. I looked into his eyes and bit my lip, this time intentionally, knowing how much he liked it. I heard him groan and his lips kissed me passionately, so much that it made it hard for me to breathe when he ended the kiss. I took off his shirt with the same ease that I had used with his pants and I made him lay on the bed, straddling my legs over him.

I didn't understand what he was doing when he opened the drawer from the nightstand until I saw the pink pill in between his fingers. I smiled and kissed him passionately and then I let him put the pill in my mouth, kissing his fingers in the process. I swallowed the pill and my hands immediately centered on his underwear. I stroked his penis over it, feeling his heat and strength, and my intimacy throbbed, painfully asking for Peeta's to be inside of it.

I couldn't resist it any longer, and I disposed of that last garment that covered the body of my boy with the bread. And in that moment, I was able to see him in all of his plenitude. There, tossed over the bed, his strong pectorals and his potent abdominals and his hardness, his enormous hardness that pointed straight up. I rolled him over my hand and I massaged him up and down, putting a little bit of pressure on it, stealing a hoarse sigh from Peeta. I concentrated my gaze on his manhood and continued caressing it as I sat on his thighs with each one of my legs on either side of his body.

"Do you like it?" I murmured, biting my lips without parting my gaze from his member, trying to be sensual. I must have achieved it, because I only saw how Peeta nodded, panting.

I passed my tongue over my lips and in that moment it occurred to me to do the same thing that Peeta had done to me, caressing him with my tongue. Just thinking about that made an electric charge concentrate in between my legs, provoking a major amount of moisture from it. But I didn't know how. I didn't have a clue how to do it, how I had to stroke him or kiss that part of his body, and I didn't want to do it wrong; I had to inform myself first.

I inclined myself and kissed the fuzz beneath his bellybutton as my hand continued its game of up and down over Peeta's length. I bit his abs and I passed my tongue over his navel, licking him the way he had licked me a few minutes ago, my lips going back down towards that prohibited line and leaving new kisses and nibbles while my hand increased its pace. This caused him to lift his hips slightly, leaving his member mere inches away from my mouth. I directed my gaze towards his darkened eyes, and without thinking, I kissed the shiny tip of his hardness. It was a long, tender, kiss, like the ones where I kissed his lips, almost sweet. Long enough for my lips to became impregnated with his taste. I licked my lips, tasting it. I moaned. His taste made a much more intense shiver run down my intimacy, so strong that I couldn't stop myself from moaning and seeking some friction, one which I found against his metal orthopedic leg.

"Katniss…" I looked at him, still enjoying myself.

Peeta leaned over, grabbing me by the waist to toss me over the bed, but I stiffened, not allowing him to do it. Not now, now he was mine. I made him lean back again as my mouth sought his with eagerness. I ate at his lips and drank from his tongue. When he gave in, I parted my lips from his and looked into his eyes, adoring the bright excitement in them. Without letting go of his gaze, I took his manhood again and directed it towards my entrance. I held in my breath as I descended and let him enter me. My interior complained faintly, causing me a weak pain, not as severe as the first time, but still bothersome. I noticed how my interior squeezed against him, I felt how it struggled to make room for him, but I didn't care, I was completely his again, feeling that powerful connection. The electricity that concentrated in our union was so strong that we both cried out in unison. And hearing his cry for being inside me reached into my soul.

I continued looking into his eyes until he was completely inside of me, and my skin brushed against the hair that covered this part of his body. I closed my eyes for a second, squeezing them, I could feel him completely inside of me, feel his heat again. Out of all of the moments in my life, it was this one that I would want to freeze forever. I kissed his chest and looked at him again, sitting up, resting my hands over his chest. In that same moment, I realized that I didn't know what to do. I had reached up to this point. I had taken control, and now, I didn't know what to do.

"Do you want me to…?" He must have noticed my hesitancy, which made my blush. Even then I shook my head.

I closed my eyes again and tried to let go, I lifted my hips slightly, letting him come out a little before going back down. I moaned loudly, clenching my fists over Peeta's chest, digging my nails into him. I heard him moan as well, and I repeated the movement. Soon I began going up and down rapidly, but my body wanted more, and so I automatically began to move slightly forward, letting Peeta's body rub over my pleasure point.

Peeta's hands went down my back as he placed them over my ass, squeezing it hard. I felt how Peeta's hips lifted to meet mine in a totally rhythmic and natural movement. Our moans and shouts became obvious again. I myself had already lost the small amount of shame that I had over the situation, and I moved, seeking mine and Peeta's pleasure without caring about anything else. The Capitol could be attacking the district again and I wouldn't care. My entire world revolved around this bedroom, on Peeta's body united to mine and on his hands over my body. His left hand flew to one of my breasts, which bounced to the rhythm of my body, and he squeezed it, massaging it and causing a wave of pleasure to descend to my pleasure point. I needed more, I needed to explore, because I could no longer hold down the fire in my belly. My movements became faster as my breathing became more erratic and my shouts became more intense. Although to be honest, Peeta didn't fall behind, and his moans were more intense than I remembered. I supposed that seeing me like this enthralled him, and truth be told, having control was definitely pleasurable.

Peeta thrust even harder into my body, lifting his hips faster towards me, and the hand that he had on my breast went down until his middle finger rubbed that point in my intimacy as I felt how Peeta's heat spilled into me. His eyes closing, his mouth ajar and moaning and his finger moving made the fire in me extend and explode followed by my now typical guttural cry.

I continued moving my hips for a while, this time calmer as I tried to regain my breath. When Peeta opened his eyes, I lowered myself to kiss him, panting over his lips, mixing his breath with mine. I smiled as I rubbed over him, slowly, enjoying the moment, until the kiss ended and he rubbed his nose against mine.

"May I?" He didn't have to say anything else; I knew perfectly well what he was referring to. I nodded, looking into his eyes, those eyes that slowly regained their sky blue color.

"Happy Birthday, Katniss." I tried to smile, but I couldn't, so I pressed my lips to his as I felt a furtive tear abandon my eyes and land over the cheek of the only person with whom I wanted to share this day with.

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_**A/N-** _ _We're starting to explore oral sex, and Katniss has started to take control, it seems that you guys like it!_

_**Teaser:** _

_The relief that I felt when I made love to Peeta had disappeared, and the truth was that I needed him again; I needed his hands and his mouth on my body, his member in my interior. I needed them to forget. I needed to forget that this afternoon I would have to face one of my fears. I had found the best way to forget. To forget the sorrow. And there was also the pleasure that I felt thanks to the hands of my boy with the bread. If I could, I would spend all day letting him make love to me. Wrapped around his hips. I rubbed my temples; my intimacy throbbed just by imagining it, by remembering it._

**Fire Kisses!**


	23. Chapter 23

_**T/N-** _ _So I know it's been a while, but I'll try to keep up better with this story now; sorry for taking so long! I had some other stories to work on. I will make it up to you guys, I promise!_

* * *

"No, I'm not going, don't insist, Peeta."

"You have to go, you KNOW you have to go," he emphasized the word  _know._

"And you KNOW…" I emphasized the word just like he had done," …that I can't.

"You're strong, you can."

"NO!" I covered myself completely with the sheets.

I felt Peeta's weight on the bed as he sat on it. He had gotten up a while ago, he had healed my knuckles and he had just taken a shower, wearing only a miniscule towel around his waist.

"Katniss…"

He managed to get under the sheets with me. He looked at me and sighed. My eyes must have been completely red again; I had cried like a baby after we had made love. I couldn't help it, all of this exceeded me; I didn't want to see all of those people. I just wanted my world to revolve around this bedroom, to Peeta and me. I didn't need anyone else. Not even Haymitch, who even though I hated to admit it, was like a father to us. I didn't need him.

I pursed a pitiful frown as I looked into his eyes, I didn't understand why he didn't understand me, he knew perfectly well how I felt, he knew more than anyone else what I was going through. Everything that we had gone through. I found it incredible that after all that, he would want to attend that stupid party. Besides, a birthday wasn't all that important, just another year of suffering. He stroked my cheek, and when I closed my eyes, he also passed his fingers over my eyelids. I shook my head, feeling the tears burning my eyes again.

"I can't put on a nice dress and celebrate the rebellion…celebrate all of those deaths…Peeta…"

"It's celebrating your birthday." I scoffed.

"It's not about my birthday, don't you get it?"

"I know, Katniss, I know…" he pressed closer to me. "But we have to do it…"

"I don't want to suffer more, and see them…"

"See them or see him?" I looked away, biting my lip. "He didn't have anything to do with it…"

"Shut up, Peeta," I pressed my hand over his lips. "I don't want to talk about that."

He kissed my hand and I let go so I could encircle his waist with that arm and use his chest as a pillow. I felt safe and sound this way. I had never been a weak person, or at least that's what I had thought. I had fought with all of my strength since I was eleven years old, I had even survived the Games, but now, I felt completely exposed. And it was all because of my feelings. All because I felt love. But I didn't regret feeling it; it was the only thing that I was sure of. I would never regret it, or at least that's what I hoped.

"I'll think about it, okay?" I murmured. "At least…I'll think about it…"I felt him nod and hug me closer.

We spent a long time like this, holding each other without moving. He then got up and brought me something to eat, I barely ate anything, and only because Peeta wouldn't stop insisting. My hunger was completely gone. I let him feed me, but then I asked him to leave me alone; he did so reluctantly, but he did it, and then I spent the entire morning crying beneath the sheets, naked and with my hair matted and tangled.

The relief that I felt when I made love to Peeta had disappeared, and the truth was that I needed him again; I needed his hands and his mouth on my body, his member in my interior. I needed them to forget. I needed to forget that this afternoon I would have to face one of my fears. I had found the best way to forget. To forget the sorrow. And there was also the pleasure that I felt thanks to the hands of my boy with the bread. If I could, I would spend all day letting him make love to me. Wrapped around his hips. I rubbed my temples; my intimacy throbbed just by imagining it, by remembering it.

I got up and looked in my wardrobe for something comfortable to wear, not even stopping to think about my undergarments, even though I did choose the ones from the Capitol. I braided my hair and went downstairs to the kitchen with the intention of devouring Peeta's mouth. But as I entered the kitchen, the first thing I saw was Haymitch devouring a plate of food. I grumbled because my plans had flown out the window.

"Slow down, Haymitch, or you'll choke." He looked at me, narrowing his eyes.

"You better worry about yourself, sweetheart." I sighed and looked at Peeta, who was taking some buns out of the oven.

He left the buns on the counter and he scooted over and gave me a chaste and unsatisfying kiss.

"Have you decided?" I shook my head and he kissed my forehead tenderly.

"Decided?" We both turned to Haymitch. "There's nothing to decide, you're going to the party."

"Don't intervene in this."

"I have to intervene, whether you like it or not, I'm still your mentor."

"Wake up, Haymitch, the Games are over."

"Sweetheart, once you go, the Games never end; you better than anyone should know that." That last part left me speechless, I wanted to contradict him, but deep inside I knew that it was true.

"Either way, going or not is my decision. It's my birthday, no? I should be able to decide if I should celebrate it or not."

"Look, sweetheart…" he sighed and then suddenly stopped speaking, which threw me off.

"What? Keep going," he shook his head slowly.

"Should I congratulate you?" he said, changing the subject.

"I have a gif—"

"NO, I don't want a gift, no gifts!" They both sighed.

I assumed the conversation was over, so I started to set the table for Peeta and me, even though Haymitch was finishing up. We sat down to eat in an uncomfortable silence, without looking at each other. I looked at the food on my plate; it was another one of Peeta's exquisite recipes that he tended to prepare. I took a chunk with my fork, brought it towards my lips, and after chewing it a million times in my mouth, I let it descend down my throat. Paper, it all tasted like paper, even the water that I used to help swallow my food. I sighed and removed the food from my plate without taking another bite. When I lifted my gaze, the two men were looking at me. I rolled my eyes.

"Stop looking at me that way, I'm not hungry, that's all." I fixed my gaze on Peeta. "Seriously." He simply nodded.

Haymitch got up at that moment and gave Peeta a small pat on the shoulder.

"I should feed the geese and get ready for the party," I shuddered just by hearing it.

"We'll see each other there…" Peeta's voice was a soft, almost inaudible murmur. Haymitch nodded and left the kitchen, and a little later we heard the front door shut.

Peeta got up silently to pick up the dishes. I could clearly read the disappointment in his face, mixed in with preoccupation. I looked at him as he did this, and saw how his face changed to sadness when he threw away the food on my plate. I couldn't help it, I got up from the chair, and as soon as he turned around, I crashed my lips against his with force, making him retreat so that his back hit the wall, at the same time that my plate fell from his hands and landed on the floor, shattering to pieces.

He tried to protest, but I didn't let him, my tongue slipped between his lips to seek his, and a little later his came out to receive mine fearlessly. I kissed him fiercely for a few minutes, pressing my body to his, making the fire inside me ignite as I felt Peeta's excitement grow. I bit his chin and then went down to nibble his neck, making him moan each time that my teeth trapped his skin.

With one rapid movement, I removed his shirt, and when he tried to speak, I bit his lips again, kissing him with all of the passion that I knew how to give him. I myself removed my simple shirt and pressed my naked chest to his perfect torso. I moaned at the contact.

Peeta's hand flew to my breasts and he massaged them with a roughness that he hadn't used until now, provoking a type of pleasurable pain. I instinctively I tugged at his waistband so that he could follow me towards the table, where I climbed up and let him place himself between my legs at the same time that Peeta removed my pants with a tug, leaving me exposed in my panties.

"Green?" I looked down at myself. I didn't even remember the color of my panties or what they were like. These were completely made of lace with transparent cloth, revealing glimpses of every corner of my skin that they were supposedly covering. And they were a very intense pine color.

"Don't you like them?"

"I can't believe you're asking me this, Katniss," he kissed me again while he undressed himself, showing his arousal, which bumped against my underwear.

I moaned at the intimate contact, I still couldn't get used to feeling him so close, so warm. I dug my nails in his shoulders when the boy with the bread started rubbing his own intimacy against mine over the cloth that was covering me.

"Peeta…"

He smiled against my lips and continued rubbing my pleasure point with his member, making me moan, making the throbbing in my intimacy beg to be attended and for him to be inside it. I myself grabbed my panties and tried to take them off, but Peeta stopped me and in the end it was him who caught said garment and slipped them down my legs as he kissed my thighs in the process.

"Peeta… now…do it now…make love to me…"

I needed him… I needed to have him inside, I need to forget everything about the party, and I had proved that just by feeling Peeta's heat inside me erased it from my mind. I managed for Peeta to stand between my legs again and as he placed his lips against mine, I wrapped my legs around him, making him press closer to me, and for his intimacy to crash against mine, ripping moans from both of our throats.

I was the one who lowered my hand and directed Peeta's member to the entrance of my body. I looked at him pleadingly and he did it. He entered me gently, slowly, too slow for my taste at the moment. But I preferred it this way, my interior wasn't used to the intermission and I noticed how I struggled to make room for his hardness. I felt how I stretched for him, tightened him. And Peeta seemed to like that, I saw how he held his breath too while he entered me. His eyes were closed and his mouth was parted, inviting me to kiss him when he was completely inside me.

It was I who started moving my hips without breaking our kiss. The movement was subtle, too soft, but enough for both of us to start moaning. My moans turned into screams when Peeta started pulling out completely form me, and then pushing back inside with force. Each thrust was an intense cry. But they soon practically turned into one continuous cry, when his movements stopped being slow and started speeding up, without losing force.

I couldn't do much more, so I limited myself to trying not to lose grip of Peeta with my legs and digging my nails into his shoulders, while I screamed into his neck, moving my hips slightly to the beat of Peeta's thrusts. With each movement of our hips, a new electric current went through me. The fire that was concentrating in my belly roared in unison with my throat, pleading to explode. Peeta's movements against my body indicated that he was to the point of spilling himself inside me. This reached my overexcited belly, and without a warning, it let the fire explode and go through me completely, igniting every cell in my body. I felt Peeta's heat inside me and how his movements turned slower and slower.

I let myself fall over the table with my eyes closed, smiling. I trembled slightly due to my arousal. I left my legs falling on either side of Peeta's body as he leaned in over me, allowing me to feel some of his weight, and then he kissed me sweetly.

"I think…love…that I like this new phase of yours." He managed to say in between pants and kisses.

"What phase?" My breathing was as erratic as his.

"The bold one…although I think that the party may have to do with all of this, does it not?" I sighed, looking away from his blue eyes.

"Having you…um…feeling you inside me makes me forget… but obviously I don't just do it for that. I like making love with you." He kissed me sweetly.

"It makes me forget too…and I like doing it with you too."

"You know what, Peeta?" I sat up, sitting on the table. "Now, after feeling how I feel with you in these moments, I feel like we have wasted time, the nightmares would have been much easier to forget with this."

"Forgetting with sex?" He smiled against my lips before depositing a chaste kiss on them.

"What we do isn't sex… we make love….making love with you makes me forget."

His smile became even more intense against my lips before kissing them again. He then kissed me, pressing me against his body gently.

"Peeta…"

"Hmm?"

"I'll go to the stupid party." He nodded against my hair.

"After that…I'll spend the whole night making you forget." I shivered as I heard him whisper in my ear and I kissed his neck.

"Making love to me?"

"Making love you."

* * *

_**A/N-** _ _Guys, I want to forget like this too, who doesn't? Katniss is becoming more and more secure with sex. Let's see how the party goes!_

_**Teaser:** _

_Shortly after, we arrived to the Justice Building. Just as we reached the front of the door, I stopped walking and retraced a few steps, letting go of Peeta's hand._

" _No… no, I can't do it." I murmured with a voice I could barely hear myself. "I thought I could do it, but no… no, I can't, Peeta…"_

" _Katniss…I'm right here with you, I'll be here always._

_He extended his hand towards me, with a pleading look on his face that I couldn't turn down, and I took his hand again with force, he brought me towards him, and he kissed me tenderly. A tenderness that was nearly infinite, in a way that he had kissed me very few times, so tender that I thought I would melt in his arms. I trapped his bottom lip between my teeth and smiled._

" _Always," I whispered._

**Fire Kisses!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T/N- I know I've only been updating this once a month, but I'm going to try to get it back to its regular schedule. In the meantime, I updated some other stories. My plan now is to continue updating this story while I work on my next WIP. I probably won't post that one until it's completely finished, since I'm horrible at updating several fics at a time. I may also continue to put this on pause when I post one-shots for challenges, but that's it. I'll try to get it finished faster. Thank you for sticking with this story!
> 
> Disclaimer- I own nothing.

 

* * *

I looked at the dress that I had left on my bed while I was still wrapped in a towel. I had agreed to go to the party, but even though they had called me, I had turned down getting a prep team. I would choose the dress myself and I would prepare myself even if I did it wrong, even if I looked like a joke just like the times I had appeared on television. I didn't care.

I chose one of the dresses that Cinna had designed for me, and when I took it out of the closet and stroked the soft fabric, I shivered as I remembered the last time I had seen the man who had designed such wonderful garment. I had left the dress on the bed and hurried running to the shower. But now there was no way back. I had chosen the perfect dress, fitted especially for me, and I was going to wear it. I was going to wear Cinna's design no matter how much it pained my soul. And I hoped that the whole world would see that it had been his masterpiece.

I picked up my underwear, some miniscule black lace panties, put them on, and then I got in the wonderful dress. I couldn't wear a bra because the strapless neckline didn't allow it, but even then the dress adapted perfectly to my figure and it made my chest look more abundant than it actually was. I still had trouble understanding the fashions of the Capitol before the revolution. I caressed the fabric again after pushing the zipper up my back with great difficulty. I adjusted the airy skirt and sighed. The skirt had a long opening that almost reached up to my thigh. I groaned. Maybe it wasn't such a great idea to show so much leg. Wouldn't it be too brazen?

But just when my hands had headed towards the zipper again, I remembered Peeta's words: he liked it when I was daring. Well, I was going to do it even in this party. I was going to show him that I was changing and that I wasn't so innocent anymore. I readjusted the skirt and sighed. At least I liked the color, completely black save for a few intensely red rhinestones on the torso. Their flashes reminded me of carbon sparks. The phrase "girl on fire" coming out of Cinna's mouth assaulted my memory with force, an overwhelming force.

I had to shake my head to eliminate the negative thoughts, and even though they didn't exactly leave, I was able to fix my hair. I couldn't wear my hair in a braid, even if that's what I wanted, so I tried to do one of the hairstyles that my mother had used on me for the Reaping. It didn't turn out perfect, and a tuft of hair slipped out of one of the loops, but it gave it a rebellious edge, and I liked it.

Unfortunately, the worst part came too soon: the makeup. I had hated it when my prep team had hidden my features beneath a mask to then remake them at their own fancy. That wasn't me. I took the tiny box of makeup from inside the bathroom cabinet, taking out the small amount of makeup that my prep team had left before the rebellion, and rummaged through it, convinced that there was something there that I could use. Well, I soon found a pencil that I remembered them using to outline the outside of my eyes, which made my gray gaze look even more intense, and I didn't dislike that. One, two, three…and it took me six tries to make the line look somewhat straight and acceptable on my left eye. It was better on my right eye; it only took me half the amount of attempts. I stepped away from the mirror; good, it was hardly noticeable, but it was enough for it to give it that bigger intensity. I also found a few lipsticks of every unimaginable color. Blue, purple, orange, and even black. I was going to give up when I finally found a red one. I tried it, painting my lips carefully. I frowned as I took a good look at myself. Way too bold. I was going to be the center of attention even without having to wear such noticeable lips. I took a little bit of toilet paper and wiped them clean. Curse the damn lipstick. I bit my bottom lip, taking another glance at myself in the mirror. Even though my lips were still red, they weren't as noticeable, they had the same color they attained after spending hours sharing kisses with Peeta. Now they were a natural red color.

I finally decided leaving them as they were. I readjusted my skirt for the umpteenth time and went back into the bedroom to try on the damn shoes. I still asked myself how I was able to maintain my balance in those strange shoes, where part of the toe elevated substantially in comparison to the heel; they must have been at least three to four inches tall.

As soon as I put them on, I went downstairs to the living room. Peeta must have been waiting for me for hours. I entered the living room nervously. What would Peeta think about my outfit? What if he didn't like it? I still couldn't believe that I had agreed to go to that stupid event. I couldn't believe that I still allowed them to play with my life in that way. My idea would have been to spend my birthday alone with Peeta, that he would make me a cake and then maybe we would invite Haymitch over for a piece. That was it, just something simple, or maybe not even that, maybe I would just celebrate with Peeta, because I knew that Peeta would have liked that.

I coughed as I entered, since my boy with the bread was busy reading a book. He looked at me and a wide smile spread on his lips. He stood and I smiled too; he was especially handsome. It wasn't the first time that I saw him in a suit, or the first time that I saw him so well combed, but today he had something, a sparkle in his eyes that gave him a different and better air than I was used to seeing him until now.

"You look…"

"Weird?"

"Spectacular." I couldn't help but smile even more.

"Do you think the dress is a good choice?"

"The dress is perfect." I saw how he blushed slightly, which made me grin.

"I can't believe you're blushing, Peeta."

"I'm not blushing."

"Sure you are," I kissed his cheek.

"Katniss…" He stepped back from me, which made me very nervous. "I know you said no gifts…but…I think that dress needs something."

"What?"

"Turn…turn around." I looked at him, confused. "Please," he begged when I didn't listen.

I sighed and turned around slowly. I heard him approaching me again, passing his arms in front of me and placing something on my neck, and then kissing me. I looked down at my neck, where a tiny silver ball hung. I took it between my fingers, and something tinkled inside of it. I observed it carefully. The little ball wasn't solid; it was a sphere with various designs and holes, revealing its interior, which had another ball in it, this one a pearl white color. Peeta took it in his fingers and pressed on the catch, which made the silver ball open and reveal a pearl, my pearl.

"Oh…"

"You don't like it?" He closed the little ball again.

"I…I love it, Peeta." I whispered. "It's beautiful…I love it." I threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly, fighting to keep the tears from coming.

"It's…what they call an angel caller. Supposedly if you make it ring…" he shook the little ball as it chimed, "Your guardian angel will protect you."

"I don't think it's necessary…my protector is always by my side." I rubbed my nose against his as he kissed me.

"It's not that big of a deal; besides, you've always been the one who has protected me."

"True…but you've saved me from my nightmares, and that's more important." I smiled wide as our lips joined again, and then he kissed my forehead.

"Ready?" I shook my head hard.

"But I have to do it, no?" He nodded and picked up my hand to kiss it.

We left the house without letting go of each other's hands, not letting go even as we walked on the street. My hands were sweating profusely, and I was sure that Peeta could tell, but even then his grip was firm. We left Victor's Village a few minutes later, finding ourselves in town. Even though the sun had hidden a while ago, it was still day time, and people were looking at me and Peeta curiously. This made me even more nervous and terrified. I didn't like to be the center of attention and this dress was costing me just that.

We soon reached the Justice Building. Just as we were in front of the door, I stopped walking and retraced a few steps, letting go of Peeta's hand.

"No…no, I can't do it." I gasped in a voice I could hardly hear myself. "I thought I could do it, but no… I can't do it, Peeta."

"Katniss…I'm right here with you, I'll be here with you, always."

He extended his hand towards me with a pleading look on his face that I couldn't turn down, and I grabbed his hand with force as he pulled me towards him, kissing me tenderly. A tenderness that was almost infinite, like few times that he had kissed me, so tender that I thought I would melt in his arms. I trapped his bottom lip in between my lips and smiled.

"Always…" I murmured.

Taking a large gulp of air, we entered the building. We weren't exactly sure where to go, but Peeta followed the sound of the soft music at the end of the hall. There, in front of a large door, was a man completely dressed in uniform, and it wasn't the same uniform that the past Peacekeepers had used, but it was similar to them, and that was something that unsettled me even more. Peeta had to tug on me to get us to approach the man. I realized that he was holding some papers in his hands when he made a gesture for us to stop as he read something from them, and then opened the door for us.

The music became even louder as Peeta tugged on me again gently so that we could enter the room. The immensity of the room overwhelmed me as we walked in. It was an enormous hall in which the ceiling was at least thirty feet from the floor; I could have never guessed just by looking at it that the building held such a large chamber. Five enormous crystal lamps hung from the high ceiling, with dozens of light bulbs on each one that made the crystal tears on their arms shine as if they were alive. The huge windows were covered with white curtains with golden designs on them that reminded me of the vines that climbed the walls of the Seam. And on the walls were hundreds of paintings, much like the ones that Peeta did of people dancing or children with wings, angels, all of them with golden frames. In the back was a large table with all sorts of delicacies and drinks; the smell of the food reached my nostrils even from this distance. I couldn't identify where the music was coming from; in the center was a large dance floor with several couples dancing and having fun.

All of this disgusted me, especially the people laughing and having fun, people that I didn't recognize. Why were all of these people here? They didn't know me, they didn't know anything about me save for the fact that I was the stupid Mockingjay, and even then they were celebrating my birthday. It was repugnant; I had no other word to describe it. I turned to Peeta, and my face must have reflected my feelings, for he smiled and kissed the back of my hand as he still held it.

I looked around the room at all of the people that were there. Some of them I remembered from District Thirteen, but others, the immense majority of them, I was unable to place, possibly because I didn't know them. I knew perfectly well that there would be people from each one of the districts in the country, including people from the Capitol, but the truth was that I didn't care which district they were from, they were strangers, and I didn't want dozens of strangers to congratulate me or gift me stupid things.

I heard Peeta murmur an encouragement in my ear just as my eyes fixed on another pair of gray ones that were watching me. My terror turned into reality. There he was; the culprit of a large amount of my nightmares, and that last illicit dream. And to my disgrace, he looked especially attractive. His hair had grown noticeably, and his muscles had swelled, and even though his back didn't reach the size of Peeta's, it seemed powerful beneath that perfect black tuxedo.

I squeezed Peeta's hand even more tightly, too tightly, knowing that, if it wasn't because Peeta had powerful hands, I would have broken it by now. I noticed how his head turned from me to where my gaze was fixed. I knew by his squeeze that he had seen him too. Or perhaps it was because he encircled my waist with one arm when Gale began to approach us in large strides.

"Gale…"

"Calm down..." I felt him kiss my temple while Gale came closer and closer to us.

"Catnip!" He yelled when he was a few feet away from us.

I gave Peeta a panicked look, managed to disentangle myself from his embrace, and ran out of the saloon without waiting for Gale to come any closer to me.

* * *

 

_**Teaser:** _

" _Get away from me, Gale."_

" _Something tells me that you don't want me to do it."_

" _Do it…don't give me another reason to hate you."_

" _You don't hate me." He inhaled my hair, and I had to close my eyes at the sensation._

" _Don't make do it, Gale." I tried to back away, but he was obviously stronger. I didn't recognize this new Gale; he frightened me._

" _I know you want this… and the truth is that I do too… we're very much alike, we're meant to be together."_

**Fire Kisses!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- Guys, it looks like Katniss figured out how to get ready for the party, and Gale just came into the scene, and this time it's not a dream! And we have Katniss's first reaction, which was to run away. To everyone who reads this story, please take a moment to comment. Thanks!


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

 

“Catnip! Catnip! Katniss!”

 I kept on running as fast as those shoes would allow me to go through the Justice Building; I knew that he was following me; I could hear  perfectly how his shoes were slamming against the ceramic tiles, each time coming closer. To my surprise, I found a door that was ajar and I opened it wide and went inside. When I tried to close it, something stopped me, and a piercing shout came from the other side of the door. I opened it fearfully, and there stood the culprit of my last dream, shrunken and clutching his left hand.

“Damn it, Katniss!”

“What?”

“You caught my hand with the door; you could be a little more careful!”

“I’m sorry…”

“Why are you running from me?”

“I don’t want to see you, Gale.”

“Why not?” He seemed angry, and I couldn’t tell if it was because of what I said or because of the pain in his hand.

“You know why; if you want to be near me then don’t ask again.” I pronounced the words between my teeth, tightening my fists around the dress’s cloth.

“Katniss…I…”

“Shut up, Gale,” I sighed.

In that moment his eyes dug into mine and I couldn’t tell what they were saying, since they were a mixture of several things, from pain to sorrow. I tore my gaze from him, embarrassed, and directed it towards his bruised hand. The truth was that I must have hit him really hard since the back of his hand was starting to turn purple. I sighed, feeling guilty about it; I just wanted to get away from him, not hurt him.

“I have something at home for that,” I pointed at his hand with my chin, “come with me.”

“I’m fine.”

“I’ll just go tell Peeta,” I ignored him deliberately, “I’ll tell him that I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“He’s going to take it the wrong way, Catnip,” he tried to joke, but I didn’t find it funny.

“Peeta trusts me; he doesn’t have to worry at all.” I tried to sound cold, but that hardly ever worked with Gale.

“As you wish; I’ll just wait for you here.”

“Good.”

I went back down the hall with my emotions flooding my heart and reaching my brain, overwhelming it. I was going to be alone with Gale. In my house. Just the two of us. I bit my lip without knowing well why I was so nervous, and I entered the room in search of Peeta so that I could tell him. It took me a few minutes to find him. When I saw him, my world crumbled down a little more. He was at the very end of the large salon, surrounded by people and holding a baby with soft bronze hair on his head. It didn’t take me long to recognize him. He was Annie’s son, and every day he looked more and more like his father. But it wasn’t the sight of the baby that shook me, no, it was seeing Peeta holding him in his arms, it was watching how my boy with the bread cradled the six-month-old baby, cooing him, watching how he smiled when the baby smiled back. Seeing Peeta with a baby made me feel ill.

Peeta liked children; I knew that well, more than once I had seen him give away pastries to children who were barely old enough to walk, nearly every child from the Seam. He had fun watching them giggle and coo, and he would laugh when they placed their sticky hands on him so that he would pick them up. And I knew that sooner or later it would happen. He would want one of his own. Peeta would want his own baby, one that carried his blood. He would ask me for it. And I would refuse to bring a child into this world. I wasn’t going to watch my children suffer. I wasn’t going to force upon them an unstable mother and a father who sometimes lost his mind and wanted to kill their mother. A baby didn’t need parents like that. They couldn’t suffer unnecessarily. They shouldn’t have to. Peeta and I couldn’t have children, and that was something that Peeta would have trouble understanding. But he would have to. I wasn’t going to be a mother.

Annie touched Peeta’s arm and indicated with her gaze that I was here. He smiled as he looked at me, and then he looked down at the baby without the smile fading from his lips. And I had to admit that Peeta’s smile was absolutely adorable. With the smile still on his lips, he approached me slowly. He crossed the entire salon with everyone’s eyes on us.

“How are you feeling?” he murmured as he kept cradling the baby, who directed his big eyes at me.

“Better…”

“You sure?” I nodded rapidly. Peeta placed a kiss on my lips carefully so that he wouldn’t crush the baby.

“Yes, don’t worry,” I gave him a light smile.

“Do you want to hold him?” He offered me the baby with a grin.

“NO!” I stepped back, realizing that I might have sounded too abrupt. “I would drop him…” I tried to explain.

“It’s okay…”

“I….” This was going to be more difficult than I thought. “Um…I hurt Gale and I have to go cure him.”

“Why?

“Peeta… I’ll be back soon.” I noticed how he clenched his jaw, and I began to fear that he was having an attack, so I instinctively tried to reach for the baby, but his clear eyes focused on me again.

“Yes, don’t take long.”

He was about to turn around when I took him by the arm and pressed myself to him to seek his mouth and place my lips on his. I ran over them with my tongue, and when he allowed me, I played with his in a slow and soft kiss, which caused a light fire to burn inside me. I moaned against his lips and he let go of me with a slight smile.

“Katniss… remember that I’ll help you out tonight.” I bit my lip.

“You may have to help me before that, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stand Gale.”

“You want me to go instead?”

“No, I was the one who caused the damage and I have to be the one to fix it. He shouldn’t have followed me.”

“What did you do?”

“I caught his hand with the door.” Honestly, looking at it from the outside it sounded fun, and Peeta must have thought the same, since he let out a low chuckle.

“Stupid.”

“Peeta…” I scolded him, “it was my fault.”

“Whatever, don’t’ take too long, I miss you already.”

“I know,” I grinned and kissed him again, then walked out through the exit.

Gale was waiting for me in the hall while he clutched his hand; he gave me a questioning look, but I didn’t say anything to him, I just kept on walking, and he followed a step behind me. If they had watched me incredulously when I had walked away from Peeta, now they were watching me with horrified looks while I walked away with Gale. Soon people began to murmur and whisper, people gossiped as they watched us, assuming the wrong things. I knew I shouldn’t care, but I did care, I cared about all of those people talking about me, and more than anything what they might tell Peeta; I cared about his feelings. But thinking about it thoroughly made me realize that they didn’t have much to talk about, Gale following me through the District’s streets, nothing more. We weren’t even talking, we weren’t touching; he was just following me.

When we reached Victor’s Village, I let out a breath; no one would see us here or gossip something senseless. We arrived at my house after a few minutes. I opened the door, and for the first time in a long while I let him walk ahead and enter first. As soon as I went inside, I took my shoes off, sighing in relief as I felt the cool, flat floor beneath my sore feet. I hated those shoes. I indicated that he follow me again as we headed upstairs to the bathroom on the upper floor. That’s where I kept the First-Aid kit.

He took off his tuxedo jacket, leaving only his shirt. I gulped as I confirmed that his muscles had gotten bulkier, Gale was stronger than before, and his face looked more mature, adolescence no longer etched upon his features. He also looked taller. He was more attractive than ever. I sighed, feeling stupid for having those thoughts as I observed his hand. Ugh, that must hurt a lot; it was completely swollen and bruised.

“What if it’s broken?” I whispered as he sat on the edge of the tub.

“Katniss, you’re strong, but not _that_ strong,” he laughed.

“Your hand doesn’t seem to agree.”

I sat beside him and took his wounded hand. An electric current went through my body, from the tips of my fingers to the underside of my belly, contracting it, but even then I ignored it and continued to observe his injury.

“I’ll apply an ointment for the pain and another one for the hematoma…it’ll pass soon.”

“Great.”

I got up with a tingling feeling in my fingers and opened the cabinet where we stored the few medicines that we usually used. I rummaged in search for the two ointments, and making a show of my nervousness, dropped one of the boxes that were stored in there. Gale got up to catch it in the air but failed, and he had to pick it up off the floor. I wanted the ground to swallow me whole when I noticed which box it was. I didn’t even recall Peeta storing the birth control pills that he had bought for me there, but it was logical, and I had forgotten it. I cursed myself for not putting them on the bedside table beside the ones that I had bought.

“Uh…oh…wow…” he stammered with surprise. I simply sighed.

“I didn’t mean for you see that, Gale.” He handed me the pink and white box.

“Right.” He sighed as well, passing his healthy hand through his hair. “I see that you and Peeta are pretty serious.”

“Completely.”

“And you’re being safe.”

“What?”

“The pills, you’re using them for protection.”

“Ah, yes, of course. You know how I feel about having children.”

“I guess I’m happy for you.”

“Because I’m being safe?” I mimicked his words.

“Because of your relationship.”

“You don’t seem too happy about it.” His smile turned sad as he shifted.

“Yes, I assumed that I…”

“That you what?”

He didn’t say anything, managing to press me against the bathroom wall, leaning his body against mine. I didn’t understand his reaction. But even then my heart sped up along with my breathing. My chest rose and fell as I remembered the stupid dream I had the night before. Gale smirked at my embarrassing state. He ran his fingers over my cheek and neck, making me gasp before I could stop myself.

“Get away from me, Gale.”

“Something tells me that you don’t want me to do it.”

“Do it…don’t give me another reason to hate you.”

“You don’t hate me.” He inhaled my hair, and I had to close my eyes at the sensation.

“Don’t make do it, Gale.” I tried to back away, but he was obviously stronger. I didn’t recognize this new Gale; he frightened me.

“I know you want this… and the truth is that I do too… we’re very much alike, we’re meant to be together.”

I looked at him straight in the eye, he was right, we were exactly the same. Pure fire ran through my veins, and there was that slight tickling in my belly heading down to the place between my legs. It was destiny. Fire with fire. His lips neared mine slowly. He was going to kiss me, and I was going to let him kiss me. Fire, his lips were fire. I let him place his lips over mine and his tongue to find mine. But I quickly tore away from him, gathering all of my strength to push him away from me. I didn’t need fire. I had enough fire myself.  I needed a reason to go on, a reason to be. And that reason was the bread, the bread that needed fire to take shape, and the fire that needed the bread to have a reason to exist. I needed Peeta, no one else. No, I didn’t need him. I loved Peeta. That went beyond need.

“No Gale, I don’t believe in destiny, and if I did then my destiny would be Peeta. Peeta is the only one that exists for me.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is, even if you don’t believe it; it is, Gale. I chose him, it’s always been him. I’m sorry.”

“You need him to survive.”

“No, I need him to live. Just because I love him. Without him I would be incomplete. Understand it, Gale. I would be able to survive without either of you, but I need Peeta in my life. I love him, and he knows that.”

And with that last phrase, I tossed him the two bottles of ointment and left the bathroom so that he could apply them himself.

* * *

 

**_Teaser:_ **

_I looked for Peeta again from where I stood, and when I saw him, a piece of my world crumbled, today was definitely a bad day. Dancing with Peeta, with one hand on his waist and another holding his hand, was Delly. A beautiful and perfect Delly. Her dress was lilac and it fit perfectly against her curvy body, bringing out her generous chest even more. Her cleavage insinuated that what was hiding beneath the cloth wasn’t small. And Peeta was way too close to her, grabbing her waist. He smiled while he danced and turned to the rhythm of the music. Every once in a while he laughed heartily. He was having fun without me again._

**Fire Kisses!**

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- Did you expect Katniss to react that way to the kiss? It seems like she has it clear that her heart belongs to Peeta. Has it been clear to Gale, or will he keep trying something? Thank you for all of your reviews and continued support!


	26. Chapter 26

* * *

I sat down on the sofa, turning everything in my head. First the dream, and now the kiss with Gale. Had the world gone against me, or what? At least now I had one thing clear: my love for Peeta. I had proved it to the person who questioned that love the most. But I couldn't help feeling uneasy. Gale had kissed me. It was a fact. And I doubted that I would be able hide it from Peeta. Just seeing him would give me the impulse to confess. It was something that I couldn't help. It was impossible to hide anything from him. The guilt would kill me. I punched one of the cushions. Fucking Gale.

And now there was also the whole scene with Peeta holding Annie's baby in his arms, that almost paternal smile that he was giving the child, even though Peeta and I were nearly just kids. But we had lived too fast, and we had matured too fast. We lived together as a couple, and this was what came next. Children. I shook my head, it was much too soon to talk about it. We were only 18 years old, we were way too young to be parents, and I would hold on to that for now, until we were old enough, and then I would think of it further.

He couldn't force to me to become a mother. And I couldn't force him to become a father, right? I was worrying about it too soon, what we had to discuss was the deal with Gale. The kiss that he had given me and the one that I had returned. For a few seconds, but I had done it. And now I couldn't live with the guilt. I leaned on the back of the sofa and waited for Gale to come downstairs, hating myself.

Gale came into the living room a few minutes later, his hand looked a little better; a sign that he had applied the two ointments correctly. I got up and smoothed the wrinkles on the skirt of my dress, and then walked towards the exit without talking to him. We made the same trek as before but in reverse, under the same previous conditions, with the looks and the murmurs surrounding us. Didn't they get tired of the gossip?

"Why do they keep looking at us?

"Why do you think? We're dressed weird, and I'm with you instead of Peeta. They probably think I cheated on him with you."

"This district is full of busybodies."

"People get bored, Gale, and even though things have changed, the majority of things remain the same."

"The majority of people are stup…"

"Stop it, Gale, quit hating." Wow, I should probably follow my own advice.

I kept walking a step ahead of him until we reached the Justice Building. We entered and went in directly to the great saloon; the same man as before checked our names on the list so that we could go back in.

I looked for Peeta again from where I stood, and when I saw him, a piece of my world crumbled, today was definitely a bad day. Dancing with Peeta, with one hand on his waist and another holding his hand, was Delly. A beautiful and perfect Delly. Her dress was lilac and it fit perfectly against her curved body, bringing out her generous chest even more. Her cleavage insinuated that what was hiding beneath the fabric wasn't small. And Peeta was way too close to her, grabbing her waist. He smiled while he danced and turned to the rhythm of the music. Every once in a while he laughed heartily. He was having fun without me again.

"Looks like the baker is having a great time." It seemed that Gale had seen it too.

"Shut your trap, dream-boy," I turned around as I recognized the voice. Johanna gave me a huge grin.

"Johanna!"

"Brainless!" I rolled my eyes at the comical nickname.

"I knew you would come."

"I wasn't going to miss the Mockingjay's birthday." I sighed, but she gave a furtive hug.

I looked towards where Gale was supposed to be standing, but he had already left, so I turned my attention back to Johanna. She looked beautiful too. I couldn't help but touch the scar that she had given me when she had ripped the tracker out of my arm. Her hair had grown since the last time I had seen it, it was perfectly cut to the length of her ears, completely straight, with a small diadem decorating it for the occasion. Her green dress brought out the tone of her skin, I sighed; all of the women at the party looked incredible.

"Should I beat up that blonde?" She gestured towards Delly, grinning.

"No…" my voice sounded too sad. "She and Peeta are friends."

"You sure? She's taking way too many liberties." In that moment, Delly adjusted Peeta's tie, his smile never fading.

"Yeah, I'm sure; I'm not nearly as fun as her."

"But he's with you; he loves you and all that sappy lover crap."

"I guess so…" She gave me a look.

"Have you let that boy indulge in the pleasures of the flesh yet?"

"What?"

"Have you and Peeta have had sex."

"Shh! Johanna!" I covered her mouth, blushing.

"Yes…" I whispered.

"How was it?"

"It hurt like hell." She burst out laughing. "But after that it was really good."

"Is he well-endowed?" I gave her a questioning look. "Is his dick big?" Fortunately she whispered it this time, but even then I blushed even more.

"There are different sizes?"

"Of course…"

"Well then I don't think it would be proper of me to answer that."

"I'll take that as a no, I should have known that all of that cake-decorating…"

"You're wrong…I don't have anything to compare it to…but well, I didn't think they were that big."

"Big? How?" I thought about it for a few seconds.

"Bigger than eight inches, is that big?"

"FU-CK, that's being REALLY well-endowed."

"And that's a good thing?"

"It's more good than bad…"

"I don't get it..."

"Katniss, it's the same, just enjoy it, period."

The red tint didn't abandon my cheeks until after a few minutes had passed. I took that time to scrutinize the saloon, looking for people I recognized. Although to be fairly honest, I spent the majority of the time with my eyes trained on Peeta and his stupid grins that were being directed at Delly. The blonde had irritated me almost instantly. I knew that she had helped Peeta in 13 and that she had spoken well to him about me. But maybe she had done all of that to win his heart and affection. To steal him from me, because Peeta was mine. He had always been, and I wanted that to continue.

I had already chosen him, he couldn't leave me now. No shoemaker's daughter was better than me, right? I tightened my fists until my nails dug into my palms. I recognized this feeling well. Jealousy. I was totally jealous. And I was afraid. Peeta could leave me for her. Who was I kidding? Delly was much better than I was. For sure. She was prettier, taller, had more curves, bigger breasts, she didn't have nightmares, and she was probably a better housekeeper, she would probably love cooking for him.

After Johanna left my side, with the excuse that she had to say hi to a stranger, and I was left alone, I went towards the food and drinks table. I picked up a glass and filled it with a fuchsia-colored drink. I sniffed it and tasted it. It was good, it had a dash of alcohol, but I didn't care, it tasted good, and I wasn't going to get drunk from just one drink. Then, with my drink in hand, I headed towards one of the chairs that was on one end of the room and sat down. Peeta still hadn't noticed that I was there, and this bothered me even more. I even thought about sitting by them, pulling on Delly's hair and ripping out one of her blonde locks so that my boy with the bread would finally take notice of my presence. But then I thought about it better, and realized that I didn't need to start a scandal, people already had enough to talk about with Peeta and Delly's dance. I refused to be the neglected girlfriend. I would only be that internally.

I took a swig from the glass and sighed when I noticed who was sitting beside me. I turned in that direction, and of course…it was Haymitch, although he didn't look that drunk.

"Hey."

"Hey." I murmured.

"Tired of dancing so much?"

"You know I don't dance." Strangely enough, his breath didn't smell like alcohol.

"But your boy does…" I glared at him and released a long groan.

"I have eyes, Haymitch." I didn't mean to sound bitter, but I was mad at the whole world right now.

"Why don't you approach him and tell him that you've arrived?"

"And take his fun away?" I smiled sadly. "Look at him…how happy he is."

"You're wrong sweetheart…he's having fun, but even though it may seem so, it's not the same as being happy."

"Whatever, Haymitch."

"Do you know when I've seen Peeta happy?" He waited for me to look at him. "When he's by your side, when you're less than a few inches away from him, that's when Peeta's happy."

"I know you're only trying to cheer me up," I clicked my tongue. "I know Peeta loves me…but look at them together…they're perfect."

"Well, Peeta has chosen your imperfection."

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

"It's supposed to be a way for you to open your eyes, and stop being so jealous…you should have seen him when you left with Gale."

"What? He knew I was going to treat his injury."

"But that didn't stop the jealousy from overpowering him; Delly had to calm him down."

"Peeta, jealous?"

"VERY jealous, and I don't think there was an insult that Gale didn't receive from his part."

"Well when he finds out…" I murmured to myself.

"What?" I bit my lip.

"Gale might have kissed me in the bathroom when we went to my house," I mustered. "It's only possible that…"

"You let him kiss you?"

"Shh! I didn't let him, but he kissed me for a few seconds…and I feel guilty about it…and now more than ever that I'm jealous."

"Are you going to tell him?"

"I have to do it…I won't be able to handle the guilt…I know that I'll hurt him…but it's better that he find out now rather than later…I'm not going to hide it from him, he doesn't deserve it."

"As you wish, sweetheart…but be careful, you know how he can change his moods."

"I know, but I'm not afraid of that, I have to tell him."

"That's fine, but be careful." To my surprise, my mentor kissed me on the cheek, a gesture of affection that he didn't usually give.

I turned back to Peeta, who had taken hold of Delly and danced her around loosely, as if they had being doing this together for years. I sighed again. What if I approached them? I was just about to get up when the song ended and everyone on the dance floor started clapping. Just then, Peeta's eyes landed on mine almost instinctively, and as if Delly's waist had an electric current, Peeta jumped, letting go of her hand too brusquely. Delly turned towards where Peeta was looking and her face turned even whiter. Was she afraid of me? Seriously? That was just absurd…

Peeta spun towards her and I assumed that he told her that he was coming to my side, for a few seconds later he started walking in my direction.

"You came back…"

"A while ago, I told you I would take a while."

"I see that…how's Gale's hand?"

"Good, I suppose."

"You suppose?"

"I got mad at him." I sighed, looking to both sides, a few curious gazes landed on us, among them Haymitch's, who hadn't left my side. "Can we go somewhere more private? I have to tell you something."

I saw the worry and doubt in his eyes. He gulped thickly and looked at Haymitch, and from the corner of my eye I saw him nod.

"I guess we can go to one of the smaller rooms that are over there…"

Peeta took my hand and tugged me so that I would follow him. We had to push through some people and take a few pictures before abandoning the hall and walking to the next room. When we went in, Peeta closed the door and to make sure that no one would bother us, he locked the door with a key, since the tiny golden key was inside the lock. The room looked like a small yet luxurious study. The walls were decorated with red tapestries with golden pictures on them, similar to the curtains in the great saloon. The large window was partly covered by two large curtains that matched the walls, and in front of this was a large mahogany table with a large leather chair. It was imposing, much more so than the enormous dance saloon. Peeta leaned on the large table, crossing his arms over his chest, in a defensive position.

"Well? What's wrong, Katniss?" I sighed, tearing my gaze away and playing with my fingers; the tears began to ask for permission to appear as soon as I thought of the phrase that I was about to tell him.

"Gale kissed me."

* * *

 

**Teaser:**

_The baby was totally adorable with his fine, bronze hair and his enormous eyes. They made me hold him, and my anger faded a little. I smiled at the little one and he returned the gesture. And then I imagined how it would be to have one like this with Katniss. I knew well that we our age wasn't adequate for that. But we had gone through a lot, we weren't normal teenagers. She had taken such good care of her younger sister and had she knew had to take care of a family perfectly. I also knew that Katniss would never want to have kids, I had told myself that thousands of times. But things were different now, maybe one day she would want to complete our family._

**Fire kisses!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- Katniss jealous! And she's such a bigmouth, she told Peeta about the kiss! How will he react, will he want to show Gale a lesson? Thank you so much for your reviews and to everyone who reads me! Even if you don't leave a review, I know that there are people who read this due to the amount of hits, and that makes me really happy! A huge kiss and a thousand thanks to you guys!


	27. Chapter 27

 

 

 

**Peeta's POV**

I felt like the happiest man in the world as I walked through the streets holding Katniss's hand. Feeling her hand squeeze mine tightly was the best feeling in the universe, well, other than having sex with her of course. Yes, I had finally experienced the sensation of having her only for myself. We had finally made love. And the first time had been so special and so beautiful that I had fallen even more in love with her.

I had gotten to mess around with her before, a few days prior to it we had touched, and I had surprisingly given her her first orgasm; I had no idea that Katniss was so innocent, that she hadn't even masturbated. But she was. She was so innocent that she blushed when she undressed in front of me. And I still couldn't understand why; yes, she had scars, but no less than I did. And I wasn't going to tell her that I adored them, those scars and patches of pink skin made her more herself, to me her whole body was perfect. Even though the absence of pubic hair on her body had surprised me, I didn't dislike it, because it allowed me to observe every corner of her flushed anatomy. And even though I knew that she was self-conscious about her small breasts, I absolutely loved them, and I loved the way that her nipples hardened at my touch. Her hips also drove me crazy, and the movements that they made in order to seek pleasure, just thinking about it made my cock twitch.

It was incredible hearing how she moaned thanks to my touch. Incredible how her moans transformed into cries of pleasure. Authentic cries that excited me in an unbelievable manner. I honestly thought that after having touched her and letting her touch me, my crazy craving for doing it would go away, of having sex with her, but on the contrary, my desire increased, so much that it was difficult for me to be around her. I needed to take it all the way; I needed to be inside her.

Perhaps that was why I had bought her the pills, I knew that I needed to make her feel safe, and for her it was important to know that she wouldn't end up getting pregnant. And even though I wouldn't mind having her child, we were too young to take care of a baby. The anxiety I felt when I had to tell her that I had bought them was the worst I had felt up until that moment, but luckily she had thought about it as well and my relief mixed with surprise and eagerness for wanting to start using them. In that moment I knew that it was only a matter of time, Katniss was learning to trust; she had started to realize that sex wasn't a bad thing.

When we finally did it, the feeling was completely wonderful. Her wet and tight interior was even better than I had dreamed or imagined. The sensation was perfect. I could have died in that moment and been the happiest man in heaven, or in hell; in that moment it made no difference. The only bad thing was feeling how I had hurt her. Watching the pain on her face, I felt tremendously guilty for a few minutes. But then she asked me to keep going, and reaching all the way inside was spectacular, just like feeling how she had an orgasm.

And now, incredibly enough, she was the one who sought me, just when I thought she wouldn't do it, how like that first time I thought that my girl on fire was regretting it. But no, she sought me, and this aroused me even more. I spent all day aroused, aching to be on top of her, inside of her. But once again she surprised me by taking the initiative and the singing voice. And then I liked the sex even more. The image of her being on top was the most perfect one in the universe. Her sweaty body panting and moving on top of mine, moaning over me, reaching for me. Katniss definitely knew how to increase my ego.

I entered the justice building in fear, knowing well who was going to be there. He had participated in many of my nightmares, nightmares in which he returned and Katniss chose him over me. Because they were a lot alike, because they had been so close for so long, that a relationship like that was impossible to break, even though Katniss claimed to hate him. But she was only thinking about the pain. Soon she would realize the truth, and then…I could lose her.

And when we entered and I saw him, and he saw us and started walking toward us, I squeezed Katniss's hand tightly, claiming her as mine. But it had all been for nothing. Katniss managed to let go and run out of the room. Haymitch prevented me from following her. He grabbed my arm so tightly it hurt. I struggled to let go, but in between him and Johanna, they managed to calm me down and then they made Annie approach with her son.

The baby was totally adorable with his fine, bronze hair and his enormous eyes. They made me hold him, and my anger faded a little. I smiled at the little one and he returned the gesture. And then I imagined how it would be to have one like this with Katniss. I knew well that our age wasn't adequate for that. But we had gone through a lot, we weren't normal teenagers. She had taken such good care of her younger sister and she knew how to take care of a family perfectly. I also knew that Katniss would never want to have kids, I had told myself that thousands of times. But things were different now, maybe one day she would want to complete our family.

But my little dream bubble didn't last long. Katniss came back telling me that she was leaving with Gale, to our house. Because of that stupid idiot who stuck his hand where he wasn't supposed to. The jealousy spread through every fiber of my being, coming out of my pores. I held it in and let her go. I left the baby with her mother and let out my frustration on one of the chairs. It received a hard kick that moved it a few feet away, crashing into Delly's perfect dress. I looked at her, trying to apologize, but she came and approached me. I don't know why I told her everything that I felt. I don't know why I let out all of my rage to her, and told her all about Gale, and I don't know why she hugged me and invited me to dance.

At first I was clumsy; I danced without enthusiasm, without wanting to. But thanks to Delly's words, I slowly began to cheer up, because she was right, or at least I hoped that she was. Katniss was in love with me. I knew that. I knew it because of the way we made love, because of the way she kissed me. I knew that she had kissed Gale before, but I also knew that it hadn't been anything like our hungry and passionate kisses, those kisses in which we devoured each other's mouths and bit each other's tongues. When I finally cheered up, I began to laugh at Delly's comments. I had underestimated her. She was a fun girl, and I liked how she made me laugh by criticizing the Capitol people's dresses.

When I noticed that Katniss was back, the regret broke on my face and I removed my hand from Delly's waist. My poor girlfriend must have assumed something that was not. I had to explain myself to her. I approached her and we had a strange, bland, conversation. Until she said that she had something to tell me.

Once again my soul left my body and descended to hell. Thousands of thoughts ran through my head and none of them good. All of them were based on the same thing. Gale and Katniss. Gale and MY girlfriend, possessing her, and even though the scene changed, the gist of it was the same. Him entering her in our kitchen, or in our bed, maybe even taking her to the forest…

I grabbed Katniss's hand with force and perhaps I was a bit rough when I tugged on her to lead her into the other room, into a study that was too luxurious.

I tried to calm myself by leaning on the table, to have something to hold on to in case I needed it, even though I ended up crossing my arms.

"Well? What's wrong, Katniss?" I think the fear in my voice must have been noticeable, my jaw trembled slightly and the air didn't come out with enough force.

"Gale kissed me." She looked away from me, and I couldn't decipher if it had only been one kiss or if there had been more.

I began to feel the characteristic burning in the arteries of my neck. That heat descended to my heart and began to pump through each of my skin pores. I lowered my hands and gripped the table tightly. The heat burned. It reached my eyes. The fury that I felt towards the woman standing in front of me began to increase. And I began to feel disgust towards her. I wanted to strangle that perfect neck with my hands and squeeze it until the air stopped going into her lungs. Because that thing in front of me was not a woman… no, no, it wasn't a person….

I searched through my memory and found what she was: a mutt. The worst of the mutts that had ever been created. And as such, she must be eradicated.

* * *

_**Teaser:** _

_Due to my clumsy struggle, my back ended up against the door of the ostentatious study and Peeta's body, imprisoning mine so that I wouldn't move. His eyes reflected all of the hate that he had for me in that moment, and more than the feeling of running out of air, what hurt the most was the fury in his eyes and face. Watching his face in that state made my cry even harder, which caused the air to completely stop coming in and out of my body._

**Fire Kisses!**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- Ooooooh Peeta had an attack! Did you see it coming? I suppose not… don't hate me! And I'm sorry that this chapter was shorter than the rest. Thank you so much to everybody! Katniss is very honest, she was going to tell him no matter what (or at least I would have haha). Maybe book Gale wouldn't have kissed her, but it was his last chance to get back Katniss…
> 
> T/N- Yay, Peeta's POV! Okay so since I'm out of school and this chapter was pretty short, I'm going to update pretty soon. I want to finish up this story, so updates should come in fairly quickly from now on, and if they don't, feel free to come yell at me because I'm probably messing around on tumblr (my URL is peetahutcherpeen).


	28. Chapter 28

 

Peeta’s eyes were darkening. When I told him that Gale had kissed me, his eyes had widened, their whites showing, his pupils slowly dilating until they almost completely covered the perfect blue of his irises.

“Peeta…calm down…it was just that. Nothing else happened, and I pulled away…”

The tears began to sting my eyes, begging to be released. It had been a long time since I had seen Peeta like this, his attacks had diminished quite a bit, as much in number as in potency.

The last time had been more than two months ago in my kitchen, and I can’t even remember what had set him off that time. I had been cooking when I turned around to see him squeezing his eyes shut and gripping the back of a chair. I remained static, quiet, until a few minutes later he looked at me. He was sweating, but his eyes were their normal color. He whispered an “I’m okay,” and then he smiled. He even gave me a chaste kiss on the lips afterwards, and we continued our day as normal.

But this time it was different, I knew that it was different. His almost black eyes told me so. He clenched his jaw tightly and looked at my eyes where the tears were bursting out, and then glanced down at my neck.

By the time I tried to act, it was too late.

His hands hovered over my neck, and using all of their strength, they began to squeeze, robbing me of oxygen. I grappled with all of my strength, digging my nails in his hands and wrists, but it was useless, he pressed and pressed so hard that I thought he would break my neck before he asphyxiated me.

Due to my clumsy struggle, my back ended up against the door of the ostentatious study and Peeta’s body, imprisoning mine so that I wouldn’t move. His eyes reflected all of the hate that he had for me in that moment, and more than the feeling of running out of air, what hurt the most was the fury in his eyes and face. Watching his face in that state made my cry even harder, which caused the air to completely stop coming in and out of my body.

This was it, my life was over. In the hands of the man who loved me. Just when I had started to want to live again. And I was not afraid for me, or at least not much; I was afraid for him. Of how he would feel, because I knew that he wouldn’t be able to bear the thought that he had ripped my life away from me. And he would end his own. And Peeta still had so much to live. Peeta had to be happy. He deserved it. He more than anyone deserved to be happy in this life.

When I noticed that I was losing consciousness, I gathered my last ounce of strength and pressed my face against his as best as I could, managing to place my lips against his. In that moment, we were pursed together with fury. One of his hands stopped squeezing my neck, allowing a little more air to reach me so that he could tug on my hair with force. He made me moan in pain, but I didn’t part my lips from him. Surprisingly enough, his parted as his tongue forcefully shoved in between my lips and sought my own. I kissed him back, thinking that this was our last kiss. His grip hadn’t diminished its intensity, but his tongue moved inside my mouth with passion.

But something changed, the hand that had been grasping my neck let go and lowered down to my left breast. He squeezed it and massaged it hard. His kiss turned more voracious, fiercer. Few of the kisses that Peeta gave me were like this. He pulled my hair even more, leaving me exposed to him, and he bit my lip as I moaned and was finally able to take a large gulp of air.

But the air was like fire entering my bruised throat. It burned in such a way that I could not help but cough. Fortunately, I was able to pull away from Peeta’s face and cough against his chest, staining his shirt with thick, dark blood. Peeta let go of my hair as I bent down. The pain in my neck and throat was completely awful. The coughing wouldn’t cease, and the lack of air was palpable again. I coughed and coughed, but there was no more blood.

I looked at Peeta. His eyes were blue again, and he was looking at me in horror. His hands were pulling at his own hair.  A few seconds passed as he kneeled in front of me, and he began crying like a little boy. It broke my heart, but I couldn’t do anything about it. The coughing that caused the fire in my throat wouldn’t stop.

“Katniss…oh my God, what have I done?” I tried to speak, but no sound would come out of my throat. So I just shook my head. I didn’t want him to worry, I wanted him to know that it was over and that everything was going to be okay now. But the coughing prevented me from doing so.

“I’m gonna go look for help…” I shook my head again and pushed him towards me so that he wouldn’t leave my side.

I stopped coughing after a few minutes. Even then I did not let go of Peeta’s hand in any moment. After I had calmed down, but was still panting, I looked straight into his eyes. He was still sobbing inconsolably. I couldn’t even imagine what he was going through. But if something like this ever happened to me I would not be able to stay by his side for fear of him. And I hated that idea, because I knew that that was what he wanted to do. Get away from me. Leave so that he wouldn’t hurt me.

I gathered the rest of my strength and pressed my lips against his, staining them with blood. But he rejected me, pulling away. He left me completely empty, and that hurt more than my throat.

“I’m a monster…you’ll never be safe by my side.” I shook my head again.

“No,” my voice was barely audible, but he looked at me. “No, no, no, no,” I tried to scream, but my throat could only release a whisper.

“Katniss don’t talk, you shouldn’t talk, I have to call Haymitch, and you need to see a doctor.”

“No…” I bit my lip; it was frustrating, not being able to talk, even more than the burning. I pointed at him and then at me, “separate…” I tried to make him understand that if someone knew of his attack, they would try to separate him from me. It seemed that for the people who now governed the country, I was still an important icon.

“Maybe it’s for the best…I almost killed you.” I began to shake my head again, even though it hurt like hell.

“I love you…” I placed my hand over his chest, above his heart, I loved him, and I would really die if he was no longer by my side.

“Katniss…I… if I…” He couldn’t seem to find the words, “I would kill myself before I hurt you.” His words sounded harsh. They sounded like a promise. _I’m going to do it._ My whole body trembled in panic as I heard this.

“I would die too,” I declared as fast and loud as I could. I forced myself so much that I started coughing again.

I didn’t think about it twice, and when the coughing attack ended, I snuggled against his body and hugged him with all of the strength that my own body permitted at the moment. A few minutes passed as I felt Peeta kiss the crown of my head and surround me with his strong arms in a very delicate way. He soon started whispering that he was sorry and asked if I would forgive him again. His broken voice indicated that he had started crying again. I clenched the cloth of his shirt in my fist and kissed his chest every time he said I’m sorry. There was nothing to forgive. I had committed the imprudence of believing that I could tell him something so painful in private. I was the idiot, and the one to blame for his attack.

We spent a few minutes in the study, sitting on the floor, me kissing his chest and him cradling me. I still couldn’t speak, but I knew that we should get out of there. Besides, I wanted to go back home and get in bed with him.

“Ha…y…mi…tch…” I croaked as I looked at him.

“I’ll go look for him.” I nodded, separating myself from him.

He let go of my body slowly, afraid that he would hurt me, and let me nestle myself beside the door.

“I’ll be right back.” I nodded slightly and stayed there sitting, hugging myself.

I don’t know how much time passed since Peeta left when the door opened again. The first one to enter was Peeta, followed by a dumbfounded Haymitch. It wasn’t until I had to lift my gaze to dig my eyes into that man that I noticed how tired and sore I was, and it wasn’t just my neck that hurt.

“Oh dear Lord…” I heard my mentor murmur perfectly. Great, I probably looked horrible. But my gaze turned to Peeta. He was crying in silence again.

“Hey…” My voice sounded plaintive and hoarse, and I placed a finger on my lips, signaling silence. “Shhh….” This time, I looked at my mentor. Peeta was having a hard enough time as it was without being reminded of what he had done.

“We’re going home, sweetheart,” he continued to whisper. He then turned to Peeta. “We have to go out through the back. I don’t think anyone will see us there.” Peeta simply nodded numbly.

“Can you get up, Katniss?” my boy with the bread kneeled in front of me. I nodded slightly again and sat up slowly. I couldn’t understand why my legs were trembling so much.

“Pick her up, boy.” It was a direct order, and Peeta obeyed without a word. I tried to protest, but as I felt myself against his chest, I desisted and gave in.

I snuggled against Peeta’s chest as best as I could, for me everything was in slow motion. I closed my eyes and let myself go. I concentrated on the beating of Peeta’s heart. In that moment it was too fast, unlike when I used his chest as a pillow. Right now it resembled the fluttering of a frightened bird’s wings. It didn’t even take us a full minute to come outside. I noticed it as I felt the cold night air in District 12. Even though we were in May, the district turned cooler at night. The temperature lowered considerably. Sometimes even a windbreaker became indispensable. Today was one of those nights. Even then, Peeta kept on walking, or running, I couldn’t distinguish his trek very well. Suddenly, we stopped. It was too soon for us to be home.

“Wait, Haymitch, she’s shivering.” I hadn’t even noticed it until he had said it.

I noticed how we descended, leaving me resting on one of his knees, and I tried to grip his neck even more so that I wouldn’t fall off, but he didn’t let go of me. Soon I felt something envelop me. It was his tuxedo jacket. His scent was unmistakable. Soon, he got up again, holding me tightly, and we started walking again. I fell in a strange trance that I didn’t wake up from until I noticed the smell of our home. It was the aroma that Peeta left every morning after baking bread.

 

* * *

**_Teaser:_ **

_I looked for Peeta’s hand, but he pulled it away as soon as I managed to grab it.  A new fear overpowered me. Peeta leaving my side. I wouldn’t be able to stand it. Now that I had admitted my love for him, I would not be able to bear it. I needed him. I need him to stay with me. As a friend, as a partner, as a lover. I needed his hugs and kisses, his touches. Even now I needed him to make love to me. He couldn’t turn his back on me over something like this. We had already gone through this before, we could overcome it. We could do it together. But he couldn’t walk away._

**Fire kisses!**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- Well, in the end, I don’t think anyone saw them, or did they? Dun-dun-dun! It seems that Katniss isn’t well…and Peeta is having a very, very rough time…  
> Thank you so much for all of your comments, each one makes me smile. But also thank you to those people who read and don’t comment, because it adds to the people reading this fic. And that’s very important to me, thank you, thank you, thank you.


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing._

* * *

 

I opened my eyes when I felt him lay me down on the bed. I saw how he looked at me with preoccupation, and I had to close my eyes so that I wouldn’t see his face, since it made my heart constrict painfully into itself. Soon Haymitch came in, panting.

“I just called the doctor, he’ll be here right away,” I began to panic and looked at Haymitch with terror.

“No…no…no…” I couldn’t say anything else.

“Everything will be okay, sweetheart, he’s the medic from the district, he won’t say anything to anybody,” he said as Peeta sighed.

“No one?” I managed to say before another coughing fit took over me because of the damn burning in my throat.

“Not a soul, Katniss.” I sighed in relief, reassured.

I looked for Peeta’s hand, but he pulled it away as soon as I managed to grab it.  A new fear overpowered me. Peeta leaving my side. I wouldn’t be able to stand it. Now that I had admitted my love for him, I would not be able to bear it. I needed him. I need him to stay with me. As a friend, as a partner, as a lover. I needed his hugs and kisses, his touches. Even now I needed him to make love to me. He couldn’t turn his back on me over something like this. We had already gone through this before, we could overcome it. We could do it together. But he couldn’t walk away.

“He’s just scared, sweetheart; he’ll go back to his old self soon.”

“And I…” I fought away the tears.

“You were worse the first time he attacked you.”

“For him,” I wasn’t making any sense, I was afraid for him, I was afraid of what he would think.

“You’re afraid for him?” I nodded. “So you’re finally in love with him, eh?” I glared at him. “I’ve spoken with him, he loves you too; it’ll pass.” I sighed, biting my lip and closing my eyes.

A few seconds later I heard Peeta returning, followed by some louder and heavier steps. I opened my eyes, and behind him stood an enormous man. He could easily measure over six feet, and his enormous arms were twice as thick as Peeta’s, and so was his chest. He was dark-skinned and had green eyes. I didn’t recall ever seeing him in the district, so I could bet that he was from 13, or even from the Capitol itself. I turned to Haymitch in fear, but he approached him and shook his hand tightly as if he had known him all his life.

“Artz, my old friend…” Haymitch chuckled.

“Haymitch, you old rascal,” he slapped him on the back with his massive hands; it seemed as if he almost broke his spine.

After shaking hands with Peeta firmly, he turned towards me, scrutinizing me with his gaze. He glanced down at my neck. I must have looked awful.

“I’m Doctor Artz Leighis, I will be your medic until you recuperate, Ms. Everdeen.”  I couldn’t help the sigh that escaped my lips. “I don’t think she likes doctors very much…”

“The problem, Artz, is that the young lady is afraid that you’ll inform the accident to the authorities,” Haymitch declared, which I was really grateful for.

“It wasn’t an accident,” Peeta snapped from behind the two other men. “I was this close to killing her. Don’t you see? It’s bound to happen one day!” I did not know if the doctor was aware of the technical “kidnapping” that Peeta had suffered, but he looked at him without changing his expression.

“I know you won’t do it,” Haymitch squeezed his shoulder. “I know how much you love that girl.” In that moment I realized that they were talking about me as if I weren’t even in the room. Great, now I was invisible.

Haymitch made Peeta leave the room; his face reddened for a few moments, as well as his eyes, an unmistakable sign that he was about to cry, and seeing Peeta cry was unbearable to me. That’s why I was thankful for my mentor’s gesture. But seconds later I realized that he did that because the doctor was about to examine me.

The doctor sat on the edge of the bed beside me and placed his gigantic hands on my neck. He touched me gently, but even then it hurt as if he were stabbing me. I whimpered timidly. I didn’t want him to think that I was a wimp, but it really hurt.

“I know it hurts, Katniss, and you were really lucky. If his thumbs had been on top of each other, he would have broken your trachea in five seconds.” I don’t know if he had said that to cheer me up, but it didn’t help. “Can you speak? Tell me you name.”

“Katniss Ever…” My voice sounded hoarse and heavy until it was gone, not allowing me to pronounce the last syllable of my last name. The doctor wrinkled his nose, a sign that it wasn’t good.

“Open your mouth,” I obeyed without protesting, and he sank my tongue beneath a wooden stick, pointing inside my mouth with a flashlight to look inside it.  He soon backed away and touched my neck again, moving his fingers slowly. “Turn your head to the right.” I did. “Now turn it to the left.” I obeyed again. “Good.” He separated himself from me, putting his flashlight away in one of his pockets.

Artz approached the door and made a signal with his head, and with that the other two men entered the bedroom; Peeta’s worried face was killing me.  I couldn’t stand to see him like this, I wanted to scream that I loved him, that I was fine, to not worry because my feelings for him hadn’t changed, that I still wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, be his girlfriend. I wanted to stay by his side, wake up beside him and let him make love to me over and over again. I needed him. And if it wasn’t for the other two men, I would even beg him with my impoverished voice. So that we could both forget this once and for all.

“Well…” the doctor began speaking, rubbing his hands together, “the damage could have been worse.” Peeta shifted his weight from his healthy leg to his orthopedic one, uncomfortable. “Her vocal chords are inflamed, as well as her tonsils, which is why she can’t speak. But there is no muscular or osseous damage, much less medullar; the fatigue comes from lack of air.” Haymitch nodded attentively, but it was Peeta who took the news in as he filled the room with his sigh of relief. “The hematomas in her neck can be treated with certain ointments,” the doctor proceeded, “The inflammation and internal pain can be treated with an oral spray that I will prescribe next. In two or three days, she’ll be good as new.”

“Thanks Artz, pal,” Haymitch shook his hand again, smiling.

“Katniss,” he directed at me without letting go of Haymitch’s hand, “it would be good for you if you took a hot shower, tried to eat a hot soup and then a bit of honey;  it would be very helpful, do that and then rest.” I couldn’t help but shake my head; I knew that I wouldn’t be able to stand in the shower. “I’m sure your boyfriend will help you in everything.” The alluded turned his gaze away, directing it towards the window. And I could hear how the other two men sighed with me in unison.

“Of course he will do that,” Haymitch said firmly.

“And of course you won’t need to worry,” he approached me and took my hand, practically half the size of his, “nobody will know anything about what happened. I myself will bring the spray so that no one makes any conjectures.” I squeezed his hand gratefully.

I closed my eyes as my three companions left the room. As soon as I heard the front door close, I heard Haymitch and Peeta start arguing downstairs. I couldn’t hear much, in fact, I couldn’t even make out the words, but by the tone of their voices it was clear that they were arguing, berating things to each other. And I could imagine what sorts of things, so I could not help it when a furtive tear abandoned my left eye. I felt like I would hopelessly lose Peeta, that this had torn our relationship apart and we wouldn’t be able to fix it.

Soon I heard the door open again, and this time it was slammed shut, and a pair of footsteps went up the stairs. I could tell from the creaking of the wood that it was Peeta; I would recognize the sound of his footsteps anywhere, no matter how loud or soft they were. He came into the bedroom and stared at me without a word, scrutinizing me with his eyes. I didn’t know what to say either, so I didn’t look away from his perfection.

“I’m going to prepare a hot bath for you.” It seemed like hours had passed since he entered the bedroom and then finally spoke, even though I would rather him not, because after that he left me alone.

My boy with the bread came back a few minutes later and sat beside me on the bed. He looked at me in silence again for another minute, his eyes traveled from my own and then down to my neck, and I wanted him to stop looking at me that way, his staring was starting to embarrass me, but the worst part was that I didn’t know what he was thinking, and the conjectures that my scattered brain came up with scared me. After a while he bent forward, looking at my dress carefully.

“I’m going to take off your dress so that I can give you a bath… the tub is already full.” I nodded softly while his hands ran though my sides.

I guess that he was looking for my zipper, because as soon as he found it, he pulled his hand away from the opposite side of it. With the gentleness that characterized him, he made it descend down to my waist. He then took the cloth from the chest of the dress and pulled it down. I could see perfectly how his eyes widened, and a soft drowned moan came out of his mouth when the dress left my breasts completely exposed. I saw him look away, as if he didn’t want to see me, as if I disgusted him, which made me feel uncomfortable. So I simply covered my chest quickly with one of my arms.

“Katniss, there’s no point in covering yourself…I’ve seen your chest lots of times…I have it memorized.” He sighed. “Besides, I’m going to bathe you…”

“What?” My voice sounded even hoarser than Haymitch’s when he had a hangover.

“You heard the doctor. I’m going to give you a bath, make you some hot soup, and cure your neck…it’s the least I can do after what I did to you.” I sighed without saying anything.

Peeta continued with his task, and if the moan that he let out of his mouth after seeing my bare chest had scared me, the one that he made when he saw the miniature panties that semi-covered my intimacy terrified me. But suddenly I knew why he was making those noises, and I remembered that I had put those clothes on for him, because they excited him. I knew that those panties could have aroused him, and now he didn’t even want to be turned on by me, he didn’t even want to look at me. He pulled the dress off my body and left it at the foot of the bed.

“Okay…now I’m going to take off your panties…or would you rather me not?” I sighed.

“Do it,” I coughed violently, and when I calmed down he proceeded to undress me completely.

He bit his lip when the garment abandoned my legs; I could tell that he was extremely nervous and uncomfortable, his hands trembled slightly, and he wouldn’t stop shifting from foot to foot. I raised one of my legs a bit so that my intimacy would be less visible, but it was useless, since he picked me up in his arms as easily if I were a feather.

He carried me to the bathroom and deposited me inside the bathtub. The water was just the right temperature, and my muscles relaxed instantly. The cinnamon-scented bubbles floated over the water, and he relaxed as well when I was covered by the deliciously scented foam.

“Are you comfortable?” I nodded, looking at him. I didn’t want him to leave me here alone.

“Do you want me to scrub you with the sponge?” I nodded again. I needed him to be close.

Peeta picked up the sponge, and even though he hesitated a bit, he began scrubbing my shoulders gently, giving me a pleasurable massage. He then washed my back and arms. He sank his arm under the water and rubbed my stomach and legs, but he never touched my sensitive parts. And yet my skin became overexcited by every touch from him. By the time he started to massage my thighs, I was completely aroused and I was conscious of how wet I was even under the water. And I hated myself for it. I hated myself for becoming aroused at a situation like this.

Minutes later, he helped me get up, and leaning my weight on him he covered me with a fluffy towel. It wasn’t until I noticed that I had dampened his shirt that I saw that he had already changed from the one covered in blood. A shiver ran through me as I remembered the moment in which I had stained it, the panic on his face. He took me into his arms again, and a few seconds later he put me down on the bed. He dried me again with another towel.

“Now I’m going to dress you,” I nodded again, unable to do anything else.

He went towards the closet and quickly came back with an electric blue satin nightgown and matching panties. It was obviously Capitol clothing. Had he chosen that because he liked it? I tried not to think too much about it and I let him dress me without removing my towel, which he didn’t do until the panties were in their place and the nightgown covered my breasts. He then covered me gently with the sheets.

“I’m going to go get the ointment.” He came back a few seconds later. “Should I apply…” he didn’t finish his sentence, he just sat beside me, opened the container, dug his fingers into it and extended them over the skin of my neck.

I moaned quietly when his fingers brushed one of the painful spots, probably one of the bruises. Peeta looked at me, begging me for forgiveness. I smiled slightly and took his hand that was holding the container. Luckily, he didn’t pull away, and I caressed the back of his hand with my thumb as he continued to apply it. He then applied the second ointment, the one that was supposed to get rid of the hematoma.

“I’m going to prepare your soup.” He pulled away quickly after he finished applying the cream on my neck, which wasn’t so sore anymore.

I sighed, and I couldn’t do anything else but curl in bed, feeling cold. I hated to think it, but I couldn’t help going over the idea that I was losing Peeta. I was losing the love of my life. The only person thanks to who I was still alive, and for who I wanted to keep living for.

* * *

 

**_Teaser:_ **

_“I want to see her,” Gale demanded, and even without looking at him, I could tell that he was gritting his teeth._

_“Well she doesn’t want you to, didn’t you see her? She ran away from you yesterday.” Peeta sounded angry too._

_“But then she helped me.”_

_“And then you kissed her without her permission.” It was the last thing that I expected to hear from Peeta’s mouth._

**Fire Kisses!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- Well, Peeta is still avoiding her, even though he’s helping her, but he still feels pretty bad...
> 
> Thanks again to everyone who reviewed, and to everyone who reads this, even if you don’t!


	30. Chapter 30

Peeta returned a few minutes later carrying a tray with two bowls, one smaller than the other. I sat up slowly on the bed; I was feeling a little better now that the external pain had gone, now I just had a sore throat, the internal pain, probably the most aggravating. I looked at him and tried to smile, but the only thing I accomplished was for him to look away, gazing down at the tray.

"I brought you some vegetable soup…and honey, mixed in with syrup so that you can sleep better. I shook my head, sleep syrup? Did he want to drug me? "Katniss… it'll help you sleep…you need it, you know perfectly well that you need it to rest." I sighed, I knew that he was right, whether I wanted to admit it or not, Peeta was right and I should get some sleep and get some rest.

I scooted away from the edge of the bed so that he could rest the tray on my knees. I smiled gratefully and picked up the steaming bowl. It smelled delicious, just like everything he prepared. The heat from the ceramic was comforting against my fingers; I hadn't even noticed that they were cold. I blew softly on the liquid and took a small sip.

Pain. When the hot liquid descended down my throat, pain was what I felt. An intense and strong pain that scratched my vocal chords and ripped at my tonsils. I left the bowl on top of the tray, spilling it as I put my hands on my throat, moaning in pain without being able help it. Swallowing hurt too much. Even now, swallowing my saliva hurt.

My eyes filled with tears as I looked at Peeta. It was the consequence of the mixture of emotional pain that I saw etched on his face. I couldn't repress it. I started to whine as I looked at Peeta, who had fear and guilt reflected on his features. But in no moment did he approach me, and that hurt more than my vocal chords. He just leaned in to take the tray from my legs and placed it on the bedside table.

A few minutes later after I had calmed down, Peeta took the smallest bowl and he stirred it with a spoon. I looked at him in fear. I didn't want to swallow again.

"It'll just be another sip…and this one is in room temperature. It won't hurt as much. When you drink the syrup, it'll numb your throat a bit before you sleep…you'll have a good sleep without nightmares. I promise."

I don't know why, but I believed him. I believed everything he told me. All it took was a simple  _I promise_  and I had nothing to fear. I picked up the bowl when he offered it to me and I put it near my nose. The sweet scent of honey and syrup dulled my sense of smell. I sighed as I looked at Peeta and I put the contents of the bowl in my mouth. The viscous liquid filled every corner of my mouth. It numbed it a little, as Peeta had promised. I closed both of my fists tightly and swallowed. The pain was almost the same as it was when I drank the soup. But I didn't have time to feel much, since everything started to look blurry, until I stopped seeing completely, and then I instantly fell into deep sleep.

The next morning I woke up with a terrible headache and a burning throat. I coughed, but the pain only intensified. I sighed, tried to calm down, and then I turned around to look at Peeta. But the other side of the bed was empty. In fact, it seemed as if no one had slept on that side of the bed today. My heart constricted and my chest contracted as I remembered how distant Peeta had been with me the day before. And all because I wasn't able to keep my huge mouth shut.

I tried my best to hold back my tears and I stood up slowly, since the room seemed to spin whenever I moved. I then saw a strange bottle on the nightstand that hadn't been there the night before. I picked it up and read the label:  _Oral Spray._   _Heals the pain of inflammation instantly._  I guess that the doctor must have come by earlier. I didn't think about it twice before I applied it. Immediately, just as the label had promised, I felt an enormous relief, even though the pain didn't diminish much.

Just when I started to feel the pain ease, the  _ding dong_ of the bell impaled my brain. I tried to hear who was entering the house when I heard Peeta answering the door, but I couldn't hear very well from the bedroom, or even from the hallway on the upper floor. I went down the stairs barefoot, but only halfway, since Gale was standing in front of my boy with the bread, both looking uncomfortable, but at least they weren't yelling at the moment. I couldn't help but stay there to listen to their conversation.

"I want to see her," Gale demanded, and even without looking at him, I could tell that he was gritting his teeth.

"Well she doesn't want you to, didn't you see her? She ran away from you yesterday." Peeta sounded angry too.

"But then she helped me."

"And then you kissed her without her permission." It was the last thing that I expected to hear from Peeta's mouth.

"I already told you…." Gale must have been using his sly smile, the one that he used to pick up girls at the Seam. "She loves me…" I went down a few more steps to confront him, but the next thing I saw was Peeta's fist land on Gale's jaw, making him fall back a few steps, covering his lip with his hand. When he removed it, I saw that it was bleeding, meaning he had split it.

I couldn't deny that I was surprised by Peeta's action. He wasn't violent. He was nice and calm. He was sweet, the one who used words to resolve things. The violent, temperamental one was me. But something inside me was glad about the punch. Peeta knew how to put Gale in his place. He was able to make him shut up. Even then I wanted to avoid a match of testosterone between them, so I put myself in between the two, scared that Peeta may have one of his episodes. I looked at him, and although his eyes were darker than usual, I knew that it was only because Gale had made him mad. I smiled at him slightly.

"Peeta…will you let me speak to him for a minute?" Even I was surprised to hear my own voice, although it sounded hoarse and a bit off, "Just for one minute. If something happens I'll scream." For the first time in hours, he smiled at me.

"If you touch a hair on her head without her permission," he directed at Gale, pointing at him with this finger, "you're a dead man." Peeta then kissed me sweetly on the lips and headed towards the kitchen.

I stared at Gale for an endless amount of minutes, and he stared back, in a way that I could assert that he scrutinized every inch of my body with his eyes. I sighed; his eyes were starting to intimidate me. But I couldn't process any words after the kiss that Peeta had given me. It had been so long since he had touched me and now he was kissing me, probably just to mark his  _territory_ , but at least, at the moment, I was still his. I pushed Peeta away from my thoughts and centered them on the man who stood in front of me instead.

"You wanted to see me, right? Here I am." I murmured roughly.

"Um…nice outfit." He said sarcastically. And in that moment I wanted the ground to swallow me whole and to kill him; I couldn't remember which thought came first.

"Right…thanks." I tried to pull my nightgown down to at least mid-thigh. "What do you want, Gale?" I managed to cough out.

"I came to say goodbye. I'm leaving again." I sighed.

"Bye."

"You're not going to consider what I told you, are you? In…you and me…"

"Gale, there was never a 'you and me,' we were just friends…with confused emotions."

"Well I wasn't, and now I realize it's too late…"

"Look, even if I hadn't been confused, if I had any feelings for you, I still couldn't be with you," I regretted saying that as soon as I had finished saying it.

"Is that what's happening? It is, isn't it? It's because of the bomb—"

"NO!" I coughed. "Don't say that word, don't say anything about it, it's not because of that. It's because of my feelings for Peeta. Peeta is the love of my life."

"The love of your life, eh? Are you gonna marry him?"

"No… no, I don't know…"

"You should know, shouldn't you? If he's the love of your life, as you say."

"He is. I love him like I'll never love anyone else. He is the only person who I have given myself to in body and soul."

"In body?"

"What?" He had caught me completely off-guard.

"You gave yourself to him?"

"Damn it, what kind of question is that?" I snapped. "That only concerns me and Peeta." I noticed how Gale smiled, and without being able to understand why, it bothered me. "Besides, you saw the pills; you know what they're for."

"That doesn't prove anything… you know what I think, Catnip? That you haven't been able to… _do it_." The blood in my veins began to boil. How dare he doubt my word and my feelings? Where was the good and honorable Gale from before? The one that used to be my ally, with who I discovered so many things, the one who I shared a true friendship with? "I don't think you've slept with him yet… because the truth is that you can't do it because there's no love there and you would only do it if you were truly in love, thanks to that innocence of yours that I know so well." In that moment, I was unable to hold back, and my left hand flew towards his cheek, giving him the hardest slap I've ever given anyone in my life. I don't even know why it was a slap instead of a punch. I should have closed my fist. But I hadn't done it, and now I regretted it.

"You're wrong. Maybe not in the fact that I could only make love if I was in love," I took a deep breath, "where you're wrong is in the fact that I have been with Peeta in that way, I've let him run his hands through my body, his mouth and tongue too, I've let him enter me, and not just once or twice but many times."I was probably saying too much now. "And my body and mind are wishing that he would do it again, because of the pleasure that it brings me, because those orgasms," thankfully I remembered the word just in time, "have been the best moments of my life, and they happened with him, and that's when I feel closest to him. Because it's the only time when our love is the only thing that matters most in the world." My voice was beginning to fade, and it was starting to sound hoarse, but I had managed to say all of those things without a stutter, even though now I was feeling my cheeks beginning to burn, a sign of their blushing.

"Maybe I should go now…" he rubbed his cheek as he gazed at me sadly. Now he seemed disappointed.

"Gale… I appreciate you…" I tried to diminish his anger.

"I've been a bigmouth…I thought that maybe in that way, I would get you back."

"You can only do that as a friend, nothing more, because there was never anything else."

"You kissed me…"

"I know… but you know what? I never felt the same way that I did as whenever I kissed Peeta."

"Are you happy? Does he make you happy?"

"Gale, you know that my happiness will never be whole after…after the rebellion… but in the moments in which I forget why I live in this house, or why Peeta has that orthopedic leg, yes, I am immensely happy with him." I began to lose my voice little by little and started coughing again, this time louder.

"Are you okay? Why do you cough so much?"

"I'm sick," I managed to say between coughs.

"Should I call Peeta? Do you want some water?" I shook my head, waiting for it to pass.

The coughing stopped after a few minutes, but I was exhausted from so much coughing, and from the conversation we were having. I appreciated Gale despite everything, I owed him a lot, and he had been my friend for a long time, I couldn't turn my back on that, but his words had hurt me, and having to explain the relationship that I had with Peeta was also complicated, because not even I understood my newfound feelings very well yet.

"I should stop talking." Gale nodded.

"I'll leave now," he murmured. "We'll keep in touch?" I nodded. "I've missed you…"

"I've missed you too."

I let him approach me and place a soft kiss on my lips, maybe it was more than just a kiss between friends, and more so keeping in mind that Gale and I never kissed each other on the cheek when we hunted together, but our friendship hadn't been normal either. I didn't give much importance to the kiss, although I did like sharing it with him, it was a goodbye kiss, and his lips would never touch mine again, because the only lips that I wanted to kiss were the boy with the bread's. He left the house without saying goodbye; we had never enjoyed saying it. And this time was no different.

I closed the front door myself and then I went to the kitchen. Just like every morning, he was baking something delicious. I smiled a bit as I watched him knead cookie dough. When his eyes landed on mine, I smiled, but he only turned away. Great, here we go again.

"You're making cookies." It was a statement; I knew perfectly well that he was. I was just trying to cover some ground.

"Uh-huh."

"It smells really good."

"Thanks." He didn't even glance at me to accept the compliment. "Um, I can see that your voice is getting better."

"Yeah, but it still hurts a bit, and I'm a little sore."

"It's best if you don't talk much…so you can heal faster." It seemed like a subtle way of telling me to shut up.

"I think I'm going to go get some rest…I'm exhausted."

"That's a good idea."

"Yeah…"

I left the kitchen completely downcast. He hadn't even asked me about the conversation with Gale, as if he didn't care. I went upstairs to my room and sunk under the covers, and even though I tried to avoid it, I couldn't, and the tears hit me with force. My sobs were bitter and heartrending. I only stopped crying when I ran out of tears. And then a few minutes later, I fell into a deep sleep without even noticing.

* * *

 

_**Teaser:** _

_At least Peeta approached my bedroom and calmed me down. Even though he barely touched me, he soothed me with his words. It was the only time in which he was himself again, whenever he tried to calm me down from a nightmare. But when the crying ceased, he would cover me again and then left me alone on that enormous bed. Whenever that happened, I hardly ever went back to sleep and it was then that I could hear him crying on the other side of the wall._

**Fire Kisses!**

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- So what you were all asking for finally happened, and Gale got a good punch in the face, haha! Thank you to everyone for reviewing. Every review keeps me writing. Thank you so much!
> 
> T/N- I am now posting this story on tumblr (peetahutcherpeen) as well as on FF.net (PeetasAndHerondales). Feel free to contact me on twitter as well (cathyvc6). Thanks for reading!


	31. Chapter 31

One week, Peeta hadn't touched me in one week. One week in which we hadn't shared a single touch, not a single kiss. Nothing. And the worst part of it was that we barely spoke to each other. We shared meals in stone silence and he had started to sleep in a different bedroom. It made me cry myself to sleep every night. But it didn't end there, as I also had nightmares each night. Nightmares in which I lost him in a thousand and one ways. The first night, I dreamed that Gale had killed him. Gale had squeezed his neck until suffocating him. Another night, it was a giant tracker jacker that attacked him and went through his chest with its enormous stinger that was the size of a sword. The night in which I had screamed the loudest was when he died in the hands of Prim and Rue.

At least Peeta approached my bedroom and calmed me down. Even though he barely touched me, he soothed me with his words. It was the only time in which he was himself again, whenever he tried to calm me down from a nightmare. But when the crying ceased, he would cover me again and then leave me alone on that enormous bed. Whenever that happened, I hardly ever went back to sleep and it was then that I could hear him crying on the other side of the wall.

This week I felt as if my life was meaningless, and even though Haymitch and Johanna tried to make me smile, they didn't succeed. My mother called me to apologize about not going to my birthday party, but that didn't stir any emotion in me either. My heart felt nothing in remembering that my own mother hadn't been there for my eighteenth birthday. I didn't even feel like going hunting. I stopped wearing lacy undergarments and little by little I became more isolated again. Peeta and I were two strangers sharing the same house. His voice had become rough when it was directed at me. His gaze had become elusive. He spent a lot of time out of the house, rebuilding the bakery, or at least that's what I hoped, even though he could be spending it all with Delly for all I knew.

I now preferred him not living under the same roof as me. I couldn't stand seeing him and not being able to touch him.

I heard the bell ring several times. And there was only one person in all of Panem who rang like that. I tried to ignore him while I cooked, but in the end he got what he wanted and I answered the door.

"What the hell are you doing, Sweetheart?" He didn't even say hi to me before entering and going straight to the kitchen.

"I was just trying to cook dinner."

"That's not what I mean, Katniss," he said heavily.

"Well then…what do you mean?" He snorted.

"I mean Peeta, of course!" This time, it was me who snorted.

"I'm not doing anything, damn it, Haymitch, he's the one who won't look at me, won't touch me, it's been…" I tried to fight through the tears, "It's been a week since my birthday and a week since he's kissed me."

"Well then do something about it Katniss, use your womanly charm!"

"I don't have any of that…"

"Sure you do. Peeta has said it many times:  _you don't know the effect that you have._ Katniss, you're beautiful, intelligent, and with that you also turn tender and sexy…"

"I think you should have saved that last part." I hated the idea of Haymitch referring to me as  _sexy._

"Whatever. The point is that you should start hauling ass and do something to get the old Peeta back."

"I know…I have to move….I need to speak with him…but I'm afraid of it ending badly."

"Sweetheart, everything is already going badly, it can't get much worse, can it? You have to risk it."

"I guess you're right, Haymitch." I sighed. "Things can't really get much worse."

"There you go. Take a risk, I miss the boy too."

"Because of his baking and cooking?"

"Exactly, why else did you think?"

"Me? Nothing…." I served him a bowl of the food I had cooked so that he could eat and leave me alone.

Even after Haymitch had left, I kept thinking about our conversation. He was absolutely right; I had to act if I wanted Peeta to love me the way he did before. I left the table prepared and went upstairs to get ready. That's what girls said when they went out with their boyfriends, no? They dressed up for them. It was what I was going to do. I was going to look good for Peeta, so that I could talk to him. So that I could get him back or lose him forever. I would lay all my cards on the table. It was possible that I would end up regretting it, but I had to do it. I had to do it for me and for Peeta.

I went into the bathroom and undressed quickly. I didn't know how long Peeta would take to come home, and I wanted to be ready. Even then I spent a few seconds looking at myself on the huge bathroom mirror. It was strange, but now I didn't look so horrible. I even felt like I could look attractive. And tonight, I would be so for Peeta. I smiled at my own reflection and got in the bathtub to take a relaxing shower.

As the water fell over me I felt grateful for the few hours of alone time that Peeta had given me. On the third day that he had gone out all afternoon, I was able to read the book I had found. And now it could be of great help, especially if we started doing more, which was my intention. I got out of the shower, and after wrapping myself up in a towel, I went into the bedroom to choose an appropriate outfit. I didn't want anything showy, at least not from the outside. So I chose some simple jean Capri pants and a smooth shirt. It took me longer to choose my undergarments. I chose a black transparent set. It didn't leave anything to the imagination, as you could see everything when I wore it. I left my hair down, knowing that Peeta liked it better this way, the waves cascading down my back, more than once he had unbraided my hair so that he could run his fingers through it.

I got dressed and went down to the living room to wait for him. I picked up a book, but to be honest I didn't read anything. I was way too nervous to center my attention on words; I wanted Peeta to come home already. I desperately needed to release all of my thoughts and expose all of my feelings. Maybe after that I would have to pick up the pieces, but I had to at least try. I couldn't go on like this. The situation was affecting me too much, I was going crazy,

When I heard the door close, I jumped from my spot on the sofa; I had been so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't expected that soft sound. Peeta passed through the front of the living room towards the kitchen without even glancing at me. I sighed. Well, here we go. I knew that I could face my fears. I went into the kitchen shortly after him and without saying a word I began heating up the food. The only thing that Peeta did was sit on the table in front of his plate. I could feel his eyes on the back of my neck while I mixed the food.

I served the plates and sat in front of him. I took bit of food from my plate and brought it up to my mouth. At least the goose turned out good this time. I took two more bites, and even though it was good, I left my fork on my plate, wiped my mouth with a napkin, and looked up at Peeta. I spent a long time staring at him, too long. And in all that time, Peeta didn't look back at me. He just ate without taking his eyes away from his food. And that hurt. I took in some air and released it slowly, I picked up my fork and kept on eating only until he finished and picked up his plate.

"Peeta, we need to talk." He looked at me and sighed.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Of course there is!" I nearly screamed. "We can't go on like this. Like two strangers living in the same house." I got up to stand in front of him.

"I'll go back to mine." My heart sank.

"No…" I shook my head. "I don't want that."

"Then what do you want, Katniss?"

"I want to go back to the way things were before my birthday…" I instinctively reached my hand up to grab on to the angel caller he had given me and squeezed it tightly.

"I could kill you."

"You're killing me as it is. I need you like I always do, I need your smile, and your loving words; I need your lips and your touch…"

"I could kill you. What part of that don't you understand?"

"I understand it perfectly, but you're not going to do it. You'll never hurt me again. Never." I filled myself with courage and placed a chaste kiss on his lips, "Ever…" I gave him another kiss, but he didn't budge. "Even if you have another attack, you won't do it." I left another kiss on his perfect kips. "Because you love me."

"In those moments…" I shushed him with a longer kiss. "Katniss…." I put my lips against his again as my hands circled his neck and interlaced around the nape of his neck.

My heart beat faster whI snapped I noticed how his lips responded to my kiss, how they parted slightly so that his tongue came out to seek mine. The hunger overpowered me and my kiss became more passionate. I bit and licked his kisses like I hadn't done in days; my hands no longer clasped his neck as they drifted down to his back and chest; how I had missed his muscular chest. His hands imitated mine and went towards my torso, where they traveled until stopping at my breasts, massaging and stroking them. My throat released a guttural moan against Peeta's lips. By then, the heat in my belly had gathered in between my legs, and I could feel perfectly how the transparent cloth of my panties was moistening embarrassingly.

In two rapid strides, Peeta had my back against the fridge and I couldn't help but groan as I felt the cool metal against my back. His lips went down to my neck, slowly torturing me, and I wanted more, I had spent too much time without Peeta, without his kisses. I wanted more. I took Peeta's hair with my right hand and tugged on it gently, enough to pull him away from my neck. For a second he looked up at me panting, without understanding. But I didn't let him protest. I centered my attention back to his lips and tongue, biting them, entangling my hand in his hair.

Gathering all of my willpower, I pulled back a few inches, and even though he tried to kiss me, I stopped him. We were so close together that our breaths mixed and I could hear the groan of frustration that abandoned Peeta's mouth when I didn't let him kiss me.

"Peeta…" He tried to kiss me again, but I had to pull on his hair to stop him, praying that I wouldn't hurt him. "Listen to me…" My voice didn't sound very convincing, breathless and hoarse with arousal.

"What?" He whispered, looking into my eyes.

"Swear to me that this won't be just sex."

"WHAT?" His voice raised a few octaves.

"Swear to me that this means that we'll be a couple again, and we'll be together…." I fought back the tears. "Swear it to me."

"Love…" I felt his rapid breathing on my forehead before he left a soft kiss on it. "Never, EVER, will it be just sex with you….this means that I give in, that I can't be without you….that the love and need that I feel for you is stronger than my fear….but if I ever hurt you, I will take you with me."

"You won't…" I kissed him sweetly, "because now I have this," I picked up the angel caller and held it up between my fingers, "and my kisses and touches….that will always bring you back from your attacks."

"Okay," he kissed my nose.

"So you promise me?"

"I swear it for my life." I claimed his tongue again with the same rush as before.

"Let's go to bed." I had trouble speaking due to my excitement, if it was up to me I would let him take me right then and there, but he wanted it to be special. "We'll be more comfortable." I placed my lips on his again softly.

I tried to smile suggestively, I'm not sure if I managed it, but Peeta licked my lips, returning the smile. I managed to escape from his body and went up to the bedroom rapidly. I wanted to try out the things I had read about a few days back.

* * *

 

_**Teaser:** _

_The truth was that I could let myself go and let him take command, but I didn't want that. Last time I had enjoyed being in charge too much, setting the rhythm, being the one who caused him pleasure. So in one rapid movement, I flipped us over so that I was on top of him. His eyes widened in surprise and I smiled. But my smile didn't last long, because he attacked my lips again, sitting up so that he could reach me. With that one simple movement, our groins brushed against each other through the clothes that separated us, and we both released a loud moan. I bit his bottom lip and moved my hips, seeking my pleasure as well as his, especially his, since I wanted to hear him moan._

**Fire kisses!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- They're back together! Thank you for reviewing, for giving me your support, to everyone who has been reading this story since the beginning, and to the new readers who have just now started and who read the chapters all in one go. Thank you, thank you, so much to everyone. Even the ones who don't review.


	32. Chapter 32

I practically ran into the bedroom. Peeta followed closely, sharing the same anxiety. Before I went in, I couldn't help but turn around and kiss him again. I missed his sweet lips. This time it was me who trapped him against the wall while I drank from his mouth. When I noticed that his hands were heading up towards my breasts again, I grabbed them, pulling them away with a smile.

"Wait until we're in bed…" I bit my bottom lip just how he liked it and turned around.

I knew that it took Peeta a while to react, since he gave me time to bend down in front of the nightstand and open the drawer with the pills in it. But he didn't give me time for much else. Peeta pressed himself against my back. He kissed, licked, and nibbled my neck much too slowly while his hands began to caress my waist from underneath my shirt. With a bit of difficulty I managed to pick up one of the pills and put it in my mouth. His hands didn't stop at my waist, though. They followed their usual path toward my chest. I couldn't drown the moan that came out of my mouth when Peeta took both of my breasts and massaged them. He stroked them gently and then harder, giving me more pleasure. I threw my head back, resting it on my boy with the bread's shoulder, exposing my neck to him so that he could immediately attack it with his lips and tongue.

When my moans became more intense, he separated himself from me and pulled off my shirt. Neither he nor I paid any attention to where it landed, because he instantly resumed his previous position, producing my breasts thousands of sensations that flew down to the junction between my legs. My crotch throbbed, begging for attention. As if Peeta had heard the pleas of my sex, he descended his right hand, losing it beneath my pants and stroking me over my panties. My throat formed a pleasured cry as my legs shook. Yes, so much time without his touch has made me hypersensitive; as if it were the first time he touched me.

I turned my face towards his mouth to try and quiet the moans that were escaping thanks to the grinding he was doing against me. Being in this situation, with Peeta positioned in this way, was more arousing than any other way he had touched me before. Feeling his hardness against the end of my back turned me on. And I couldn't help but move a bit to let him know, I pressed myself harder against him, stealing a moan from his lips.

Without further hesitation and without expecting it, Peeta pushed me towards the bed. I looked at him for a few seconds, panting, before he pulled off his shirt and launched himself against my lips. He kissed me and bit me, sought my tongue and played with it. Our tongues wrestled and curled with a boldness I didn't know we had, a force that I liked very much. Peeta could be on fire too, and in that moment he was demonstrating it.

His hands struggled with my pants button. They won the battle quickly and proceeded to dispose of them. I had to drown a giggle when Peeta moaned at the sight of my underwear. The transparent cloth did not leave anything to the imagination, and it clearly demonstrated how perfectly wet I was right there, in the junction between my legs, right over my crotch. Perhaps this would have troubled me before, but I wanted Peeta to make love to me so badly that him seeing me like that did nothing but increase my desire for him. It was proof of what I had been turning around in my head for days.

"I'm guessing you like them," I murmured. There was no need to ask, he wouldn't tear his eyes away from my panties.

"I love them…."

I gathered some courage, remembering Haymitch and his ' _womanly charm'_ advice, offering the only thing that I knew would make Peeta give in. I licked my lips and spread my legs wider, allowing him to see all of me through the transparent cloth. Even though I felt too exposed, I liked proving how Peeta's eyes darkened in desire. He grinned and placed himself in between my legs so that he could center and run his lips on my neck again. When his lips went down to my cleavage, interspersing with his own teeth, he made my bra disappear. I was so focused on his lips that I didn't even feel him unfasten it.

When his mouth took possession of the rosiest part of one of my breasts, it hardened to the point of near pain, and the pleasure that went through me made my back arch beneath Peeta's body. His tongue teased that part of my anatomy, and his teeth trapped it gently. The other breast far from going unattended was being stimulated by his hands. And I couldn't stop moaning and squirming in pleasure from all of those sensations.

The truth was that I could let myself go and let him take command, but I didn't want that. Last time I had enjoyed being in charge too much, setting the rhythm, being the one who caused him pleasure. So in one rapid movement, I flipped us over so that I was on top of him. His eyes widened in surprise and I smiled. But my smile didn't last long, because he attacked my lips again, sitting up so that he could reach me. With that one simple movement, our crotches brushed against each other through the clothes that separated us, and we both released a loud moan. I bit his bottom lip and moved my hips, seeking my pleasure as well as his, especially his; I wanted to hear him moan.

After I managed to tear a few moans from him, I made him lay back again and this time it was my lips that got lost in his neck. I explored all of this area with my lips, mixing in nibbles here and there, depending on the intensity of Peeta's moans. My tongue flicked on his earlobe while my hands went down his abdomen and unbuttoned his pants.

He removed his own pants, but I didn't let him do the same with his undershorts. I took his hands, interlacing my fingers with them as my kisses descended to his chest. I nibbled his pectorals, lowering to his abdominals. When I let go of him, his hands began to stroke my hair and back. My lips reached the elastic band of his undershorts, and I didn't stop as kept on kissing him; I kissed the cotton cloth that adjusted tightly to his hardness. I explored his hardness with my lips over the cloth. I didn't need to ask if he liked it, his groans and the way he tensed his hips every time he received a kiss was enough.

Good, now came the real test, I was going to do what I had studied in " _The Perfect Lover's Manual_ " that I found in the basement. I slid his boxers smoothly down his legs until I had his member in front of me. Enormous, hard, and hot. I bit my lip, trying to get rid of my nervousness. I took it in my hand and moved it up and down the way Peeta had taught me. Slowly. Making my boy with the bread roll his eyes back and moan. I smiled mischievously as I proved the effect I had on him. I was pleased that he wasn't the only one who could give pleasure.

My hand went up and down for a few seconds all over his manhood, but I didn't want that. His member wasn't mere inches from my face just so that I could stroke it. I licked my lips for the umpteenth time and just like I did last time, I kissed the tip. It didn't take long for Peeta to whimper.

"Katniss…"

I ignored him as my tongue substituted my hand. I licked the entirety of his length from bottom to top. Another moan from him made me repeat the action before I centered myself on the swollen tip, the most sensitive part according to the book, so my tongue teased it as I looked into his eyes. I stopped flicking my tongue that way and I took him in my mouth, sucking lightly, and even though I struggled a bit, I took him in as deep as I could. Peeta moaned instantly, this time loader and much more intense than before, so much so that I had to look at him again to make sure that he was okay. I bobbed my head slowly so that his sex came out of my mouth before I took him in again while I moved my tongue over him. I continued with that movement faster and faster, adding more pressure with my lips. I noticed how Peeta tangled his hands in my hair, indicating what rhythm to follow. Instead of upsetting me, I was grateful for his guidance and in a strange way it made the fire in my interior increase even more. At first I thought it would be unpleasant, I thought that having that part of his body in my mouth would disgust me. But nothing was farther from the truth. Not even the taste was unpleasant.

I continued this movement, using my hands to stroke the rest of his member that I couldn't fit in. I was really enjoying this. I adored the way that Peeta cried out, so high and loud that it almost seemed as if he were screaming. I kept going and going, almost not believing that I was doing this. I, Katniss Everdeen, was giving pleasure to a man with my mouth, and I didn't dislike it, in fact, the fire in me was so great that the temptation to take one of my hands to my throbbing clit was becoming more and more intense. And even though I liked this, it scared me a little. A tiny voice in my head was telling me that I was losing my essence. I was afraid of losing the old Katniss. But another tiny voice, one that was winning at the moment, was assuring me that feeling pleasure wouldn't change me. And hell, the pleasure I was feeling right now while listening to Peeta wasn't something I would trade for the world.

"Katniss…stop….I don't want any more…" I stopped moving slowly, albeit a bit frightened; I didn't understand why he was suddenly telling me that he didn't want it, I glanced at him without removing my mouth from him, "I don't want to finish in your mouth."

I couldn't help but smile slightly and throw myself on his lips, sharing his taste. It was a taste that turned me on immensely. Even more than my taste when I tried it from his lips. Our kiss turned so passionate it was no longer just kissing, it was biting. And kiss after kiss Peeta tugged off my panties, ripping them without contemplations. This increased the intensity of the fire inside me, now I was burning. And because of that, I myself managed to place his member on my entrance and let him invade me. His moan mixed with mine, filling up the bedroom. I started moving slowly, adjusting to his size. But feeling Peeta's hands grabbing and squeezing my ass quickly made my movements become more demanding, trying to quench the fire in my interior.

Peeta couldn't stay still for long; I guessed it was because of his own fiery interior. He sat up, holding me, and started thrusting up frantically. Our movements turned erratic. Their speed couldn't be faster, nor could their force. Peeta sank into me hard, and each thrust made a cry escape from my lips. The frenzied movement we had overexcited my cells, and feeling Peeta's fingers dig into my body fanned the fire inside me, a fire that wouldn't take long to explode, and that I was controlling by digging my own fingers into his shoulders.

When I felt Peeta's heat spill inside me, I let go, and the fire inside me exploded, in a way that made my entire body tremble in pleasure, a cry echoing on all of the rooms in the house.

My boy with the bread licked and nibbled my neck, slowing the movement of his hips. Our pants mixed together when he found my mouth and kissed me sweetly, much too chastely after what we had done. I returned the kiss, entangling my fingers in his hair. I pulled away for a few seconds and grinned at him, looking into his eyes. He kissed my forehead tenderly in response.

"You love me, real or not real?" I whispered against his lips, the way he had done the first time we made love.

"Real…" he chuckled.

Peeta lay down, leaving me on top of him. He was still inside me. He hugged me so tightly that for a moment I thought he would squeeze all the air out of my lungs, even though I didn't fall short, as I clung to him with all of my strength.

"Peeta…"

"Hmmm?" Even leaning on his chest I knew that his eyes were closed.

"Would you like to…have a toasting…with me?" I whispered.

* * *

 

 

_**Teaser:** _

_I turned around, lying on the bed. I felt stupid. And disappointed. And hurt. And scared. Peeta didn't want to marry me. Now I had to pick up the pieces of my trampled heart. He had rejected me, and that hurt more than a sword stabbing me. I turned my back on him; I didn't want him to see me cry. The last thing I needed in that moment was for him to see me broken._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- Oooooh, Katniss wants a wedding! Once again I give thanks to all of you who have given your unconditional support to this story, all of you who read, and all of you who review. All of you deserve the odds to be ever, ever in you favor.
> 
> T/N- Hot damn, it was about time they had hot make-up sex! Anyone have a fan? I had to read it twice since I was translating…I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I did! ;)


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing._

* * *

I held my breath as I waited for Peeta's answer, unmoving, unblinking, not breathing. I had said it; I had proposed Peeta to marry me. I didn't even realize that I had done it, I hadn't planned it, and I hadn't counted on it slipping from my mouth, it had just occurred. My words had come out faster than my thoughts. And by the time I realized it, my lips had already pronounced it. But to be honest, I didn't regret saying it. I wanted Peeta to be only for me. My boy with the bread. My friend, my boyfriend, my lover, and my husband. Always.

Was that a selfish thought?

Peeta rubbed my back, and holding on to my shoulders, made me sit up so that he could look me directly in the eyes. I could only read surprise in his. If he felt anything else, I couldn't tell. He bit his lip and sighed.

"Katniss…I'm not mad anymore. You don't need to say that." I expected anything else but that, I didn't want him to think that I was doing it because of his anger.

"What? I'm not saying it because of that…I…"

"You what?"

"I love you…you love me…right?"

"Don't ever doubt that."

"And we live together… I want it to be that way forever."

"Only because you're afraid to lose me." I could see the disappointment in his eyes.

"No! Because I love you, Peeta…" I leaned over and placed a kiss on his lips. "I love you and I want to be your wife."

"We're too young…"

"If you don't mind, I don't mind either," I whispered.

I turned around, lying on the bed. I felt stupid. And disappointed. And hurt. And scared. Peeta didn't want to marry me. Now I had to pick up the pieces of my trampled heart. He had rejected me, and that hurt more than a sword stabbing me. I turned my back on him; I didn't want him to see me cry. The last thing I needed in that moment was for him to see me broken.

As I expected, it didn't take him two seconds in imitating me and accommodating himself against me. Feeling his breath against the back of my neck made me shiver in such a way that I had to reprimand myself. I had to contain myself; I was angry.

"Katniss?"

"What?" I cursed myself in proving how much my voice shook.

"I didn't say no."

He kissed my neck, and even though I didn't budge, he left more and more kisses. By the time his lips made way for his teeth, my skin was already tingling and my breath was accelerated. The fire in me had been ignited again. I cursed Peeta for this, but I didn't try to make him stop. I had missed him so much that I couldn't turn down his kisses.

One of his hands lowered down until reaching one of my breasts, which he caressed delicately, to then massage it harder, causing moans to escape from my throat. Even though I tried to turn around, Peeta didn't allow me to, pushing me more towards him. That act alone made me confirm that my boy with the bread was hard and ready to get lost in my interior. My moan became louder when I felt him against my body, and I found his lips so that I could bite them while I involuntarily moved my hips against him, grinding gently.

My breasts soon became insufficient for Peeta, since his hand slowly lowered down to the junction between my legs. I spread them in offering so that he could work on me. One of his fingers soon found my pleasure center and began stimulating it gently, which implied that my moans were now soft cries against Peeta's lips. Now it was him who had started grinding against me. That movement and his hand stimulating my intimacy were making my internal fire extend faster and faster.

His fingers abandoned that part of my skin that made scream in pleasure so that they could then get lost in my interior. They slipped in and out in a maddening rhythm; if he kept on like this, it wouldn't take long for me to explode. But I wanted his fingers to be substituted by his hardness, which dug against my rear each time harder and harder.

"Peeta…"

My supplicant and hoarse voice made him increase the movement of his hand. And I couldn't do more than let myself go. I let myself be taken away by the pleasure he was giving me with his hand, I closed my eyes, trying to drown my moans with the pillow while Peeta's teeth tugged on the skin of my neck. And it happened. I couldn't endure the intensity of his fingers coming in and out of me, and I exploded again with an almost piercing cry.

What happened next was completely unexpected. I felt Peeta's manhood invade me. I cried out. It was the most arousing thing we had ever done. Having him inside me in this position turned me on again instantly. And I didn't want this to end. Peeta left his hand on my intimacy and began moving it slowly. He panted and moaned against my ear. I couldn't help but turn my face again and kiss him as he stroked my hair. And in that moment Peeta thrust even harder. I moaned loudly and bit his lips, letting his movements become rough. I loved it when he stopped being a gentleman and turned into that love-making beast.

The fire in my interior invaded me in such a way that I felt like I was melting in Peeta's arms. I knew that I would explode in a matter of seconds. But the seconds became even shorter when one of his fingers found my pleasure point and stroked it. I left my fire explode as Peeta bit my bottom lip, and afterwards I felt him explode too.

I gasped, looking into his eyes with a smile; only he could convert my anger into the type of make-up encounter we just had. He kissed me, mixing our gasps together, and he turned me around so that my chest was against his.

"I should have been the one to ask you to marry me," his gasps prevented me from deciphering if it was simply a comment or if he was truly upset.

"You know I'm anything but conventional."

"I know, Katniss," he said between breaths, "But…" he kissed me on the forehead.

"But?" I sighed too.

"I've been thinking about it for a long time and I had no idea how you were going to react and now you're the one asking me. I'm just surprised…" I couldn't help but smile and kiss his lips sweetly.

"Well…you know what? Forget that I asked…you do it…" I settled against his chest.

"Not now…" he murmured, "when the moment is right."

"Okay, but you know that I'll say yes, right?"

"I know."

I felt his arms surround me and I calmed down a little but even though I felt bad for him. He thought I was the old Katniss, that one that said "no" to commitment, no to relationships, and no to weddings. But that Katniss no longer existed. Now I wanted to be by Peeta's side forever. I wanted to be his and for him to be mine, and no one else's. I sighed. All of this made the bad thoughts that I had during my separation from Peeta for a few days return. Had he been alone? Had he seen Delly? Just thinking about it today made me feel sick. One didn't have to be very smart to see that Delly wanted more than a simple friendship with Peeta. I kissed his chest, gathering some courage, and raised my head a little so that I could look up at him.

"Where have you been all these evenings?"

"At the bakery…it's nearly finished. I'll be able to work there soon."

"You're going to leave me here alone a long time…"

"You'll be coming with me, you can work there."

"But I can't…"

"As a salesgirl," he clarified; he and I both knew that my skills in the kitchen weren't really that good.

"Have you being seeing Delly?" I figured I better get rid of the doubt sooner rather than later. Even if it hurt.

"What?"

"Have you being Delly these days?" Yes, I sounded like the typical jealous and possessive girlfriend, but I couldn't help it.

"Katniss…you're jealous!" Peeta chuckled softly, and I slapped his chest lightly.

"No, no I'm not," I lied, "I just want to know."

"Yes, I saw her every day, we were together every afternoon." He lowered his hand down to my back, caressing every curve. I instantly paled. I noticed perfectly how my face was left without a drop of blood. The envy and impotency overpowered me and a pain in my chest made it very intense. My tears were screaming to come out of my eyes. "I'm kidding, Katniss. I only saw her the day after the party; she asked me if I could give you your present from her."

"But you didn't…" it was still difficult for me to think that he was joking, "…you didn't bring a present."

"I told her you didn't like presents, that it was best not to give it to you."

"Aha…"

"Katniss, even though she wanted something with me, I only want to be with you. You're the only one for me."

"And you're the only one for me."

I kissed his lips, and even though the shadow of jealousy wasn't completely gone, I believed him. The truth was that deep inside I knew that I shouldn't be afraid that Peeta would replace me for another, he had always loved me, and that was a long time. But I also knew that Delly was better than me. And that was inevitable. And maybe her not-so-innocent insistence would get to him.

"Did you ask me to marry you because of Delly?"

"Peeta…no…I already told you, I asked because I love you." Or at least that's what I believed; my subconscious told me that perhaps I wanted to make him mine in front of her.

"All right…" he kissed my head, "you shouldn't be jealous, she doesn't have a chance."

I smiled against his chest openly. My insecure self liked to hear the special things that Peeta said about me. I felt flattered, loved, and cared for. Without a doubt Peeta was the best thing that had ever happened to me. I could even say that it was even better than when Prim was born. I loved that man and he loved me. There was nothing more perfect for me than this moment, holding each other after making love. I only regretted not having swallowed my fears before and enjoying these moments with him earlier. But things always occurred at their proper time, and Peeta and I starting to demonstrate our love in this way was no exception. It happened when it was supposed to happen, no more or less. Just when Peeta's attacks had become nearly inexistent (eliminating my birthday), and I was stronger and self-sufficient. Our relationship couldn't go wrong.

* * *

 

_**Teaser:** _

_I kissed him sweetly again and then I lowered down to kiss his neck. I savored it with my tongue. When Peeta's breath accelerated, it was my teeth that took charge of the skin on that part of his body. It ignited my own fire. I clenched my fist around his shirt and tugged him towards me, pressing his chest against mine, which was still bare from last night. I circled my arms around his neck and sought his tongue again so that I could kiss him passionately. But right in that moment, the sound of my stomach distracted us. Peeta burst out laughing like a little kid._

**Fire kisses!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N-Well well, it looks like things are clarifying and marching well! As always, a million thanks to you guys for wasting your time on this fic, and a million thanks to all of those people who comment. All of you are amazing, and each review is a push forward so that I can keep writing!


	34. Chapter 34

 

 

I woke to the smell of cheese buns. That delicious scent clung to my nose, making my mouth water. I opened my eyes to find myself in front of two ocean-blue ones that were looking at me intensely. They had always made me uncomfortable when they watched me in my sleep. But my blush went away the second that Peeta placed his lips on mine. I smiled against them and kissed him softly, without a hurry, enjoying this way of waking up.

"You smell like fresh-baked bread."

"It's your breakfast, Katniss." His smile lit me up.

"No, you smell like bread."

I kissed him sweetly again and then I lowered down to kiss his neck. I savored it with my tongue. When Peeta's breath accelerated, it was my teeth that took charge of the skin on that part of his body. It ignited my own fire. I clenched my fist around his shirt and tugged him towards me, pressing his chest against mine, which was still bare from last night. I circled my arms around his neck and sought his tongue again so that I could kiss him passionately. But right in that moment, the sound of my stomach distracted us. Peeta burst out laughing like a little kid.

"It's not funny," I tried to attack his lips, but he pulled away.

"You have to eat breakfast."

"I'm hungry for something else." Even my voice sounded innocent.

"Your stomach doesn't agree with you, Katniss." I sighed, letting him pull away from me.

"You can bring me something to wear for breakfast… it's uncomfortable being naked without you there," I placed a finger on his lips right when he was about to say something, "I know you don't care, but it's weird."

Fortunately Peeta understood me and took out a shirt and red lace panties from the drawer. It was obvious that he liked that color on my skin. When he gave it to me, I put it on without looking at it for too long so that I wouldn't feel uncomfortable, and I let him rest the breakfast tray over my legs. On it was a little basket of cheese buns and two huge cups of hot chocolate that were still steaming. I took one of the mugs and took a tiny sip. The moan that came out of my mouth due to the taste made Peeta cough in discomfort. I looked at him a bit embarrassed and smiled. He returned the smile and took his mug so that he could drink from it too.

I picked up a bun and brought it up to my nose, sniffing the bread and cheese, and this time I held back the moan so that I wouldn't trouble or bother Peeta. But I chewed happily. And how could I not, it was exquisite, just like everything he prepared.

I ate the bun and drank the chocolate slowly. My eyes roamed all of the perfection that was Peeta. His wide jaw, his blue eyes, his long eyelashes. I adored every ray of sunlight that played with his hair, lighting it up. He's perfect. And he is here, by my side, making me cheese buns and hot chocolate. Just me, not Delly.

I finished the chocolate and placed the mug on the tray. I wait for him to finish so that we can continue kissing where we left off. But he doesn't do that. He just stares at me in silence for a long time.

"You're not going to eat more?" I shake my head. "Eat a little more; one measly bun is not breakfast…"

"But with hot chocolate it is." I smiled. I could eat the whole basket, but as I had told him earlier, I was hungry for him.

"Just one more…" He picked one up and brought it up to my mouth.

I tried to shake my head, but Peeta's eyes prevented me from doing so, so I bit the bread slowly, looking into his eyes. My teeth bumped into something strange. I pulled away confused and looked at Peeta. His flushed cheeks surprised me even more. I took the bun in my hand, putting my fingers in it, and realized that it wasn't filled with cheese. Inside the bread was a ring. I observed it for a moment; it was rather simple; the picture on the metal was exactly the same as my angel caller. In the center, right at the top, was a shiny rock. There was no need to be a salesman or a Capitol citizen to know that it was a diamond. I looked at Peeta again, who was even redder than before; even his perfect ears were a bit red.

"Peeta?"

"Kat… Katniss Everdeen… you are the woman of my life….I love you with all of my soul…since the day I was five years old I gave you the key to my heart when I heard you sing. I promise to protect you from all of your nightmares and try to eliminate all of your fears, and banish all the possible amount of pain… I just want to offer you my love and fresh baked bread every day of your life…" he smiled a bit nervously. "Nothing more, but…would you like to be…" he coughed, "do you want to marry me?"

I paled. Less than twelve hours ago I had asked him the same thing, but the ring made it more real. When I had proposed to him, it had been spontaneous. It was said without thinking. It was something I had said when I had felt good. But the ring made it real. Peeta has asked me to marry him. He wanted to marry me. And the most shocking thing of all was that I wanted it too. I wanted to be his wife. We would be a strange couple, but we loved each other, and that was what was important, right? We would deal with all of our problems, with my nightmares and his attacks.

"I want to; of course I want to…"

Peeta took the tray off of my knees in an almost brusque manner, and his lips crashed with force against mine. His kiss was passionate and rough, but within it was also love. It was difficult to explain, but Peeta could convey all of that in one kiss. I lay back on the bed, letting him rest on top of me without breaking the connection that we had with our lips. His tongue explored my mouth to then play with mine. When his lips changed their place of attack and passed over to my neck, my breathing accelerated in such a way that we were both surprised; he had aroused me much too quickly.

Before continuing his brazen kisses, he took the ring from my hand and placed it in my finger with a grin. He kissed the back of my hand, gasping. He smiled when I caressed his lips with my fingers. He kissed my hand again and then he went back towards my mouth. I kissed him passionately, my breaths even shorter, while his hands headed beneath my shirt and tugged on it. In a second, the cloth went over my head and I was left in nothing but panties.

His lips attacked one of my nipples, he kissed it and sucked it and then his teeth starting biting on it, making me arch my back and emit an embarrassing but pleasured moan. I stroked his hair, locking my fingers on him while he centered on my chest. But later on I felt the need to stroke his naked back, so I pulled and tugged until his shirt was off. Peeta separated his lips from my chest long enough for his shirt to pass over his head. The other breast, far from being unattended, was caressed by his left hand. When his lips descended down to my navel, I knew that it would happen. His tongue passed by my bellybutton and went to touch the waistline of my panties.

He took each side of my underwear with his hands and made them descend slowly down my legs. He kissed the inside of my thighs and then he placed a soft kiss on my intimacy as he made me separate them a little further. This time, the nervousness of being so exposed was immense. I smiled at him impatiently; I needed for him to do it now. He returned the smile and then dug his head in between my legs so the he could pass his tongue in between my folds. I closed my eyes and arched my back, allowing my head to fall back. I moaned deeply and let him continue, stroking his hair. His tongue become lost in my interior and curled in my center of pleasure, so fast and so intense that the fire in me expanded uncontrollably through my veins. In the moment that Peeta introduced his two fingers inside me, the fire exploded, making me spasm in pleasure over the bed, letting a drowned moan escape.

When I calmed down a bit, Peeta placed himself in between my legs. He looked at me smiling and stroked my hair. He was holding the pink pill in his other hand. I hadn't even noticed when he took it. I let him place it inside my mouth and then swallowed it so that right afterwards I could kiss him and press my intimacy against his. I cursed the fine cloth of his undershorts, but even then I shifted my hips against his hardness, making him moan. I liked hearing him moan. I liked how he partly opened his eyes and parted his mouth slightly. I kissed him, biting his lips gently while I tugged on the garment that separated us, enough so that his manhood was pressed against my intimacy, which throbbed for him.

I let him enter me extremely gently. Both of us enjoyed that moment, containing our rapid breathing. His eyes darkened even more when our bodies joined in that way. I moved my hips again slowly to signal him to continue. He came in and out. The fire in me increased. I wrapped my legs around him so that our bodies grinded closer. Peeta moaned louder and higher thanks to this. He thrust faster against my body. I screamed in pleasure with each thrust, arching my body. Peeta abandoned his gentlemanly phase and took me in his arms, lifting his hips. He kneeled, I suppose so that he could get gain better access, leaving my rear up in the air. He moved hard and fast, digging his fingers into my hips. I cried out loud and he moaned. My hips started moving at the same rhythm as his. Hard and fast. With a drowned shout from Peeta, I noticed how he spilled himself into my interior, and just with that, the fire that was in me exploded violently, like a powerful bomb.

He collapsed over my body, resting all of his weight on me. This didn't bother me in the slightest. I liked feeling him against me, pressing close to me, gasping in my ear. He sought my mouth and kissed me, stroking my lips with his own, mixing our excited breaths together. I stroked his hair and back until I reached his bottom. I liked his powerful muscles, even in that area.

"We have to tell everybody." In that moment, I panicked. I didn't want a wedding full of people that I didn't know and a bunch of cameras.

"No…no, I don't want the whole world to know." He rolled to one side so that he lay beside me.

"By everyone I meant Haymitch, Johanna, your mother…" he made me look into his eyes.

"I don't think my mother will care, she didn't even come to my birthday."

"You know why she didn't come."

"Yes, but she forgets that I'm still alive. She forgets that she had two daughters." I can't help to say it with resentment, holding back tears. "But it doesn't matter… I don't need her, I only need you."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely, Peeta." He left a chaste kiss on my lips.

"Who else do you want at the wedding?" The word  _wedding_ sounded so strange.

"Annie…"

"Gale?" he asked fearfully.

"If he wants to, yes. And Delly…" My feminine pride screamed inside me, it wanted her to see him with me.

"If she wants to…"

I nodded and curled against his chest, observing the ring that he had placed on my ring finger. Engaged. I was engaged to Peeta. And this time it was real, not a lie for the Capitol. I was going to become Katniss Mellark. And even though it scared me, it was what I wanted. I wanted to live with Peeta forever.

* * *

 

_**Teaser:** _

" _You're the one who drifted away…come back."_

" _You know I can't."_

" _Or you don't want to." I sighed. "Will you be here that day?"_

" _I don't know," he mumbled._

" _Gale… you know how important you are to me. I hope… I hope you come."_

" _Katniss….I have to hang up." He sounded disengaged._

" _Bye, Gale."_

**Fire kisses!**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- Was the proposal cute? But the part afterwards was better, no? I hope you liked it! Thank you for getting here and reading me, thank you to everyone for allowing me to captivate you with my ideas. Thank you for being here and making it count with a review.


	35. Chapter 35

Time flew by. Tomorrow was my wedding. And telling people about it wasn't easy, not at all. Part of me thought that they would judge me. That they would criticize me. I didn't want that. We were getting married because we were happy together. We loved and needed each other. And joining together forever was just another sign of our love. That was what marriage was about, wasn't it?

The person who was easiest to tell was Johanna. Her scream on the other side of the phone was nearly ear-piercing. She then asked me if I was pregnant. What kind of question is that? I just told her that Peeta and I were getting married, and she asked me that. I obviously wasn't pregnant nor intended to be for a long time. But after that I had a small argument with Peeta. And it was confirmed. Peeta wanted children.

Remembering that made my skin prickle. Peeta didn't want to understand that I couldn't have children. I couldn't condemn them to a life of suffering. I couldn't allow their dreams to be filled with nightmares from hearing their mother screaming. Or to see their father standing still, clenching his teeth and tightening his fists. No, he had to understand that I couldn't let that happen to them.

Without a doubt, the person who was hardest to tell the news to was Gale. I knew that he wouldn't like it. That perhaps he would hang up the phone. Besides, he had been my best friend for a long time; he had helped and supported me in the toughest moments. Thanks to him, my life in the forest wasn't so bad. And because of all this, I wanted him to be there for me on that day.

" _Gale?"_

" _Katniss? Is that you? I didn't expect for you to call so soon… Is something wrong?"_

" _No…well yes…nothing bad, though." I didn't know how to tell him, how to approach the topic._

" _Tell me…you're starting to worry me."_

" _Yes…yes." I nervously started to play with the phone cable. "As you know…Peeta and I are in a relationship…an intense one."_

" _Uh-huh."_

" _And well…he and I…"_

" _Are you trying to tell me that you're going to marry him?" My mouth went dry._

" _Yes."_

" _Catnip…I don't recognize you…"_

" _People change and mature, Gale."_

" _You're changed too much."_

" _Maybe so, but you can't say that it's just because I didn't choose you."_

" _It's not because of that…it's just that I miss you."_

_You're the one who drifted away…come back."_

" _You know I can't."_

" _Or you don't want to." I sighed. "Will you be here that day?"_

" _I don't know," he mumbled._

" _Gale… you know how important you are to me. I hope… I hope you come."_

" _Katniss….I have to hang up." He sounded disengaged._

" _Bye, Gale."_

Gale hung up without saying good-bye. I bet that he had gotten mad at me. But I couldn't help it, Peeta and I were getting married and that was that. And even now, two months since we had that conversation, he was still mad. He hasn't called me, hasn't written me, and hasn't even responded to my wedding invitation. And I feared that I wouldn't see him again. Gale was my friend, and I cared about him, I didn't want him to leave again.

Possibly the worst thing for Peeta was telling my mother. For me it was foolishness, but he insisted on asking my mother for my hand. As if that was going to change anything in between us. Even if my mother had said no, my plans with Peeta would have been the same.

Peeta had picked up the phone when I hadn't been paying attention, and dialed my mother's phone number instantly.

" _Mrs. Everdeen?" I heard him talking from the kitchen, and I ran all the way to the living room. But even though I heard the sound of someone else on the side of the telephone, I couldn't understand what my mother was saying._

" _Yes…this is Peeta. I was calling you to ask you something… important." My mother only spoke for three seconds._

" _I…" this time Peeta looked at me. "I wanted to ask you for Katniss' hand. I want to marry her, ma'am." I blushed furiously, afraid of my mother's reaction. This time, my mother's murmur lasted a few more seconds._

" _I know, ma'am." But you know that I will care for her and protect her forever." Peeta was also blushing, and he was starting to stutter._

_This time her voice sounded louder, a signal that she was yelling._

" _I will. Thank you, Mrs. Everdeen. I hope you agree to come. Good-bye. See you soon."_

It had been a poor conversation, just like the other ones that my mother had had since Prim had died. Perhaps she had said more to Peeta than what she usually said to me. But that didn't matter anymore. Peeta had permission to marry me. Although to be honest, her permission didn't make any difference to me; I was going to marry Peeta no matter what, without caring if anyone tried to intercede.

Tonight I would sleep away from Peeta. And this pained my soul, but in the end Annie had convinced me that it was good luck to not see the bride until the ceremony. Or at least that's how it was done in her district. I had to repeat to myself over and over again that it was the last night of my life away from him, that tomorrow he would be mine. Just mine. Laid across my bed, I couldn't help but gaze at my engagement ring. It was beautiful; I hoped my wedding ring was just like it.

I closed my eyes, thanking heaven that no one in the Capitol had found out.

I would be lying if I said that I wasn't nervous, the nerves gathered in my stomach and in my head. They made both parts of my anatomy throb and strain, almost painfully. And I couldn't understand why, nothing about our lives was going to change. We would continue living together, sleeping together, holding each other. He would continue working at the bakery like he had been doing for two weeks, and I would keep helping him. Nothing was going to change.

A few loud knocks on my bedroom door made me wake up, startled; I didn't recall falling asleep. Without waiting for a response, Johanna came into the bedroom like a whirlwind.

"Wake up, Brainless; you have a lot to do before you tie the knot with bread boy."

"Don't say it as if it were a punishment." I yawned and half-closed my eyes when I closed the curtains, making the bright sunlight enter through the window.

"It  _is_ a punishment…what's the point of signing a paper?"

"Johanna, weddings are supposed to be romantic." I remembered Annie and Finnick's wedding in Thirteen. And even though it feels like a punch to the stomach to remember him, their faces in that moment reminds me that it's worth it.

"Well then get your ass hauling and take a shower. You only have three hours left of being single."

"Only? To be honest, I'm ready for it to be over already…if it was for me, it would just be me and Peeta."

"Yeah, I get it."

"Do you? Have you ever been in love?"

"That's not for me, brainless…come on, move that pretty ass."

I sighed and stood up. I headed to the bathroom and avoided the mirror, getting in the shower. I scrubbed my body, letting the hot water relax me. I was more nervous than the day before, much more. I got out of the shower and went into my bedroom. I wore something comfortable and went downstairs for breakfast.

For the first time since Peeta had returned to my kitchen, it didn't smell like fresh-baked bread, but even then there was a small basket of cheese buns on the table. I smiled and picked one up as I prepared two cups of hot chocolate, while Johanna devoured another one of the buns without any restraint.

"I get why you're marrying him now."

"Why?"

"This is delicious…"

"I know." I placed a mug in front of her and sat down beside her.

"You look nervous."

"I am, I can't help it, and I don't even know why…"

"Brides tend to be, it's normal."

"I suppose…"

"Come on; finish up…"she drank her hot chocolate in one gulp. "I'll help you get ready."

"You?" I nearly choked on the last bite of my bun.

"Yes, me. Move it."

I left my mug half empty and after washing the dishes, we headed to my bedroom. I wasn't sure what she was going to do to me, and the truth was that it scared me a little. She sat down on the bed and stared at me.

"What do you plan on doing with your hair?"

"I want it loose and wavy, the way Peeta likes it. Nothing weird or sophisticated. I just want to be me."

"Uh-huh…that sounds good." I smiled gratefully at her.

She stood up, and without saying a word she slipped out of the bedroom only to return a few minutes later with a huge makeup bag and a chair. She made me sit on the chair and insisted that I stay still, and then started working on my hair without letting me say anything.

"I didn't know that besides chopping off trees, you were also dedicated to cosmetology," I tried to tease, but the look on her face made me shut my mouth.

"I wouldn't laugh now; I could leave you bald, Sweetheart."

I coughed and let her continue without another word. Her threat was enough. A few minutes later, she left my hair alone and began caking my face with makeup. This was definitely far from the usual crazy and almost masculine Johanna. I could imagine her hunting with me, not doing my makeup. It was extremely strange. She pulled back after a few minutes. It didn't seem like she had used too much of it.

She walked back, satisfied with her work, and opened the closet to take out the dress enclosed in a garment bag. I came closer and lowered the zipper to open it. Before me was the perfect dress. It was white, as it was custom in the district. And it was designed by Cinna; it couldn't have been any other way. It was the simplest dress out of all of the ones he had designed for my previous false engagement. It was long, reaching all the way to my feet, while the torso adjusted perfectly to my body. No straps, no jewels; the only touch of color was a carbon-colored ribbon that was decorated sash-like around the waist. It was beautiful, ideal for me.

I let Johanna leave so that I could get dressed. For my undergarments I wore a lace set like I had been doing lately, in this case it had to be completely white. I then put on the dress, although I had to ask for help so that I could zip it up correctly.

I looked at the time on the alarm clock and saw that I still had 45 minutes until I had to go to the Justice Building. After signing the stupid papers, we could come back home and do the toasting ritual. That was what I wanted to do.

Johanna went to get ready, and I took advantage of this time so that I could look at myself in the mirror. She had done a spectacular job. My hair was perfect. It was much better than what I would have been able to do by myself. And the makeup was natural, nothing overdramatic, nothing too scary. You could even say that I looked attractive. Even I would admit it.

As soon as Johanna finished and confirmed that Peeta had already left, we walked to the Justice Building in front of the attentive glances that people were giving us. Obviously few of them knew that today I would take a big step. Their glances intimidated me and made my cheeks burn, but I tried not to pay too much attention to it. I wanted this; I didn't care what anyone else thought.

When we reached the Justice Building, my eyes went directly to my mother; she was standing at the entrance with Effie and Haymitch. For a moment I had feared that she wouldn't come. And even though I would have liked to reproach her for not helping me get ready, she was here, and I knew that it was the only thing that this woman could give me. I knew that her motherly love had disappeared the day that the mines had exploded, taking my father away from us. And it had been buried the day that Prim had died. I don't know what I was to her, but I was sure that the feelings that she had towards me were not those that a mother had for her children. This was another one of the reasons that I didn't want to have children. I didn't want a child to live without its mother's love.

My mother approached me with cautious steps, as if she was afraid, but when she was only a few steps away, she drew a forced smile on her face.

"You look beautiful, dear." I felt as if she was hesitating.

"Thank you, Mother." I managed to smile a little. I didn't want to have any bad thoughts on my wedding day.

"If only your father and Prim could see you." My heart clenched a bit, and I felt in that moment as if I were doing wrong by trying to be happy, keeping in mind all of the deaths that I had on my back.

"I know, Mother," I cut her off. It was my day to be happy, and I wasn't going to let her take that away from me.

Fortunately, Haymitch approached us and hugged me tightly, lifting me from the ground. I hadn't expected so much affection from his part, so I let out a squeal that made Johanna and Effie laugh.

"You ready, Sweetheart?"

"Of course…I'm ready to sign those papers and go back home."

"Perhaps it'll be more than just signing a few simple papers…"

"What?"

"You'll see…let's go on in."

He offered me his arm and I grabbed it gently; my nerves attacked my stomach again, contracting it with an annoying tingle. We went into the building and made a few turns in the hallway. We went inside the small living room with a few stools arranged in a line, occupied by people that I knew. My people, my friends, for the sake of giving them a title. And there, at the front of the room, in an enormous table, Peeta was waiting for me with his impeccable groom's tuxedo. He was extremely handsome. He waited for me, and smiled.

* * *

 

_**Teaser:** _

_Fortunately, my boy with the bread joined me instantly. He took my hand again, and we approached the scorching chimney. In front of this, he had extended a white sheet with gold embroidery. Our names and today's date were sown in one corner. Peeta helped me kneel down with one of his hands, since his other one was holding the rack to place the bread in, which was wrapped in a silk cloth._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- The Wedding is coming! I bet Johanna's stylist side took you by surprise, haha! Once again, thank you for reading me, all of you are a great support for this crazy writer's brain.
> 
> T/N- Four more chapters guys, we're almost there! I'm going to try to get them done fast so I won't have to make you wait too long. Who's excited for the honeymoon and the toasting? I know I am! ;D Thank you so much to everyone who's had the patience to stick with me this whole time— I'm trying to get this done before the end of the summer.
> 
> Love you guys!
> 
> Fire Kisses!


	36. Chapter 36

**Disclaimer:** _I own nothing._

I walked and held on to Haymitch’s arm until I found myself two steps away from Peeta. His eyes shone in a special way, a way that I had seen only on very few occasions. They were shining with happiness. It was a contagious happiness, one that eliminated thoughts of pain and guilt. He took my hand and kissed it sweetly, squeezing it gently. I couldn’t help but smile excitedly. Seeing Peeta like this intoxicated me.

“You’re beautiful, Katniss.”

“Thank you,” I blushed.

The mayor coughed from behind the table; I hadn’t even noticed him up until that moment. We looked at him and he indicated that we sit down on the chairs covered in red velvet. Peeta sat down without letting go of my hand. He seemed as nervous as I was.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” the mayor began, (and hearing him reminded me of Madge), “We have gathered here today to celebrate a serious act, as is the marital contract between Ms. Katniss Everdeen and Mr. Peeta Mellark. From this moment on, the spouses are required to live in mutual respect, live together, and share happiness and mutual protection.” I sighed; it was what we had been doing for months already. “Do any of you have anything to add?”

“Katniss,” Peeta looked even more nervous. He took my other hand too and kissed both; he then coughed to clear his throat, maybe to relieve his anxiety, “Katniss, I give myself to you today, to share my life with you. You can trust in my love because it is real. I promise to be a faithful husband and share and support all of your hopes, dreams, and goals. My heart will be with you forever. When you fall, I will pick you up; when you cry, I will comfort you; when you laugh, I will laugh with you. Everything I am and everything I have is yours from this moment on until the rest of eternity.” I couldn’t help but let my eyes water in stupid tears of happiness. The love I felt for this man increased with each word.

“Peeta,” I placed a finger on his lips, smiling. “I know…” I turned to the mayor again.

“Let us continue.” He handed us a book from which we had to read the marriage vows.

“Katniss,” Peeta began, “do you accept to be my lawfully wedded wife?”

“Yes,” my smile tugged at my cheeks painfully. “Yes, I do,” I kissed his hand. “Peeta, do you accept to be my lawfully wedded husband?”

“Yes, I do,” he whispered as he looked into my eyes. “Katniss, I take you as my wife and promise to love you faithfully all of my life.”

“Peeta, I take you as my husband and promise to love you faithfully all of my life.”

“Good, now sign here…”

The mayor laid out a yellow sheet with several paragraphs on it that I didn’t bother to read and signed it without hesitation. I could have been signing my death sentence and I wouldn’t have cared. Peeta also signed it without a thought and took my hand again.

“Now the rings,” the mayor whispered.

Peeta took out a tiny box from his pocket and from it, a perfect ring. Just like the engagement ring, it had a golden band engraved with the same designs as my angel caller, but this time, the jewel that decorated it was not a diamond; it was a pearl, a small and perfect pearl.  And I loved that more than the most expensive diamond in the country because the pearl meant something to us. He then handed me the box, and in it remained one ring, the same golden color as mine and with the same designs, but thicker and without a pearl. Inside it I could read the inscriptions _Katniss & Peeta_ and today’s date. I supposed that mine had the same thing written on it. My hands shook slightly while I slid it onto his finger.

I grinned at him and his lips pressed against mine in a soft and sweet kiss that brought the official ceremony to a close. Now we just had to do the Toasting. I knew that the mayor said something, but my ears didn’t catch it; all of my senses were concentrated on the sensation that Peeta’s kiss had provoked me. When we pulled back, a roar of applause flooded the room, and my cheeks turned an intense shade of red. I couldn’t help it. Peeta kissed my hand while everyone approached us to congratulate us.

Everyone that we had invited had attended. Everyone except one person. Everyone except Gale. As I had guessed, he hadn’t come, and that hurt in the deepest part of my heart. A piece of my being shattered. My hopes were destroyed in that moment. But I couldn’t be down right now.  Neither Peeta nor anyone who expected a beautiful celebration deserved that.

After all of our friends had congratulated us, we left the Justice Building holding hands.

“You’re my wife now,” Peeta whispered in my ear softly before leaving a gentle kiss on my cheek.

“You know it’s not official until we toast the bread,” I winked at him, trying to be seductive.

We walked with our friends towards our house. Now I could say it was ours without a doubt. It was where we would live together-- forever. As we reached the door, we noticed that a few of those who had survived from the Seam were decorating the garden. They were arranging tables, flowers, white lanterns, and other party decorations. Everything was beautiful; everything was perfect. When those people saw us, they came by to congratulate us. Strangely enough, they all seemed happy. They smiled and laughed, they hugged us. And we didn’t even know them personally. Obviously I knew them all from years ago, from seeing them in dusty streets, and some I had even sold fresh meat to.

For example, there was Mrs. Custard. She had lost her husband in the same mining accident that my father had died in. Her eldest son had died in the Games a year before that incident. I had given her meat in exchange of blankets or woolen sweaters that she had obtained from her own squalid sheep. But her youngest daughter wasn’t there. I assumed that she hadn’t survived the destruction of 12 and that made me unable to meet her eyes even as she smiled and congratulated me. It surprised me to see her look so happy.

Peeta and I had to pose for various photos. Even though Peeta seemed to love it, I wasn’t having such a great time. I wanted to go inside the house, toast the bread, and relax with my boy with the bread-- my husband.

When we were finally able to enter the house, Peeta kissed me so sweetly that I thought I would lose consciousness from such tenderness. His tongue caressed my lips and my tongue gently. But I soon went for more. My kiss turned more demanding, warmer. Peeta, far from pulling away, responded to the intensity of my kiss, pressing me against the wall by the entrance. I moaned against his lips, and his hands, which had been resting on my hip, went down to my rear and squeezed it through the lace of my dress. I placed my hands on his hips and pressed him closer to me. I immediately noticed that he was as aroused as I was. I smiled against his lips, and my hand headed towards his crotch. I squeezed it, making my boy with the bread moan against my mouth.

But a cough behind us made us split apart rapidly, moaning and panting. Out of all of the people who were at the party, the least anticipated person was the one to catch us. My mother glared at Peeta. She then turned to me, and she didn’t have to say anything for me to know what she was expressing: anger, disappointment, surprise… and a million other things.

“You should start the ritual now,” she snapped, turning away from us.

Peeta and I nodded. He took my hand and kissed it. He then walked away and headed towards the kitchen. I followed my mother. The living room was decorated in candles and flowers. And it smelled wonderfully, like burning wood and coal. These two materials crackled in the chimney, making the living room seem like an authentic oven. We were at the end of August, and it was still hot outside. The heat was nearly unbearable.

Fortunately, my boy with the bread joined me instantly. He took my hand again, and we approached the scorching chimney. In front of this, he had laid out a white sheet with gold embroidery on it. Our names and today’s date were sewn in one corner. Peeta helped me kneel down with one of his hands, since his other one was holding the rack to place the bread in, which was wrapped in a silk cloth.

He kneeled by my side and as soon as he placed the metal iron over the ember, my mother called in the main guests-- the only people who I wanted in that moment: Haymitch, Johanna, Annie and her baby, Effie, and my mother herself. When we were all gathered around, they began to sing the wedding song.

Peeta smiled and began unwrapping the bread. As soon as he did, I was surprised to discover that the bread was in the shape of a heart. I grinned as I looked at it. Peeta was romantic like this. He held the bread on one side and I held on to the other side as we pulled it apart to break it in half. Each piece was no bigger than the palm of my hand. Peeta kissed the bread and placed it on the rack so that it would start toasting. I did the same thing as him and then I took his hand, and when everyone else finished singing, I started singing in his ear a song that was different than the ones I had sung before, a song that I had never sung until then. I had waited until the right moment. I had waited for _this_ moment.

_I will wake on the divan of your dreams_

_Fiery like a winter sunset_

_And laughing inside you, beside me beneath the covers_

_Uncovering the mask of your body_

_Kissing you is feeling the heat of hell_

_Gazes that are accomplices of our game_

_And sitting beside you and knowing that you’re there_

_This song will make you feel…the desire…_

_You are the flame of my heart_

_The fury that rides in my interior_

_The star that illuminates my courage_

_Is your body_

_And sitting beside you and knowing that you’re there_

_This song will make you feel…the desire._

_You are the flame of my heart_

_The fury that rides in my interior_

_The star that illuminates my courage_

_Is your body_

When I finished, Peeta looked at me smiling with glassy eyes, about to cry. I smiled, stroked his cheek, and kissed him sweetly. Soon our companions began singing the same love song that they had been singing before. I smiled, looking into his eyes again, getting lost in them and the flames that were reflected in them. I then looked at the bread. I carefully flipped it over and checked that it was ready.

“It’s done.”

“Well, take it…careful, Katniss.”

I nodded and took one of the pieces with my hand, trying not to burn myself. I blew on it softly; the truth was that my fingers were burning. We left the bread over the sheet for a few seconds, but then put it near Peeta’s mouth. He took his own piece and placed it near my mouth as we looked into each other’s eyes, biting the bread at the same time.

My “family” began singing louder, and the happiness filled me completely. I became lost in the ocean blue of Peeta’s eyes while I savored the piece of bread that he had given me. I smiled, finished chewing, and when Peeta was about to give me a new piece, a new voice joined the chorus.

I couldn’t believe it; he had heard my pleas, now I could be completely happy. Gale, my friend-- my best friend-- was there by my side, singing at my wedding. When I smiled at him, he returned the gesture and I was able to take another bite of toast. When the song finished, Peeta and I hugged each other tightly.

“I love you, Katniss.”

“I love you, Peeta.”

We weren’t able to enjoy much of our intimate hug, since Haymitch enveloped us both. We soon separated and Effie cried and hugged me. But I wanted other arms to hold me. I managed to let go and approached my friend.

“Gale.”

“You look beautiful, Katniss.”

“Thank you.”

“I would look better.” He pointed at Peeta with his chin.

“Gale,” I scolded him, “stop.”

“I was kidding…”

“I know.”

He opened his arms and I pressed close to his chest, hugging him, flooding my nostrils with his intoxicating scent. I had missed him. I loved that he was here, by my side, sharing my happiness.

* * *

 

**_Teaser:_ **

_The musicians that were in one corner of the garden began playing almost at the same time that we entered the dance floor. People came closer to look and that made me even more nervous, I didn’t want to make a fool of myself in front of so many people, I didn’t want to ruin the party for Peeta, this was important to him, and I wanted everything to be perfect for him._

_“Ready?”_

_“No,” I said sincerely with a smile._

_“Everything will be fine, trust me, Katniss.” He began to swing gently and I followed his rhythm slowly. Little by little his feet began to move from the floor and mine followed his clumsily._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- Well, they’re finally married! Did you enjoy the toasting? I think it was one of the most enjoyable parts for me to write.
> 
> And well, since many of you have asked this, I will tell you that there’s not much left to go, in fact there are another two chapters and the epilogue left. I’m sorry that this is ending; I will always have a very, very special love for this story.
> 
> T/N- I would just like to add a few notes here: the song is called “En Tu Cuerpo,” (In Your Body) by Saratoga. I tried to translate it as best as I could. I’m sorry if it didn’t make much sense :/ However, you’re welcome to listen to it even if you don’t understand it, just so you can kind of get the feel of it I guess. I listened to it a few times and I liked it. Also, I would like to thank Court81981, beta extraordinaire, for helping me with this. There are a lot of things that one has to take into consideration when translating, and she helped me make more sense of it. I just want to give this story the justice it deserves, and I hope I accomplished that. Thank you to all of the readers for sticking with us on this!  
> Love you guys!  
> Fire kisses!


	37. Chapter 37

The hugs we received inside the house lasted way too long. I liked watching people happy, but too much physical contact was uncomfortable for me. Not to mention the fact that my mother was cold and distant. She could have saved herself the trouble and not have come, like she did on my birthday. Apparently her family was gone the moment that Prim had ceased to exist.

I would be lying if I said that mine was too. I now had a new family. My family was Peeta and my friends, especially those people who knew what it meant to fight in the arena and survive. Not someone who nearly killed two little girls by letting them starve. We all suffered the death of my father. And now that I was in love I was finally able to understand how my mother had felt when she lost him. It was possible that I could end up like her: sunken, mute, and dead to the world. Hadn’t I been that already? But I, unlike her, had no one to fight for. She was supposed to have fought for us. And that was something I would never be able to forgive her for. And now with her distance and her silent accusations, she had erased whatever trace of relationship and affection there might have been between us. It was possible that this would be the last time I ever saw her. And that stung a bit.

Instead I decided to spend this time with Gale and Peeta, especially the former. I had missed him a lot. I had missed going out hunting and seeing him waiting for me at our meeting place, scaring the rabbits or squirrels so that I could shoot them in the eye with one of my arrows. I missed him helping me clean my blood-stained hands, missed him calling me _Catnip_ and laughing at me. That laughter was one that only I heard whenever we shared a bit of Lady’s cheese.

After a few endless minutes, Peeta took my hand again and we headed to the garden together. When we passed through the door, the people there started clapping and singing a song about love and happiness. Little Posy ran towards me and hugged my legs. I feared that her hands might be dirty, but when Peeta picked her up in his arms and I saw how the little girl smiled, my fear vanished; never before had I worried about something like that and I was never going to. Her green eyes landed on mine and she launched her arms around my neck while Peeta held her.

“I miss you, Katniss!”

“And I miss you, little one,” I stroked her small curls and hugged her tenderly. Perhaps she was the only child that I allowed myself to be close to.

Hazelle approached us, and with one look at her daughter, she made her come down from Peeta’s arms.

“She’s not bothering us, Mrs. Hawthorne.”

She smiled. “I know,” she took her daughter’s hand. “Congratulations to both of you…I’m glad that you’re trying to live happily.” She walked up to me and hugged me.

“Thank you, Hazelle.” I wrapped my arms around her; she had been like a second mother to me, almost more so than my own mother had been.

“I’ll let you enjoy the party now, thank you for the invitation.”

I smiled even more while she walked away, and Peeta took my hand again, but it didn’t last long. Dozens of people came towards us to congratulate us, more people than we had even invited. I was sure that someone had invited more people than necessary. I sighed heavily. I didn’t want a huge celebration; I didn’t want a lengthy guest list. I wanted to shut myself inside the house with Peeta. I wanted him to take off my dress and make love to me. But even then I forced a small smile for each and every person who congratulated us, and I let the people who hadn’t been invited by us personally enjoy the party. There weren’t very many parties around here, and a little bit of distraction couldn’t be bad for anybody. I even smiled at the hug and two loud smooches that Delly gave Peeta after giving me a small kiss on the cheek. She _still_ hadn’t give up?

A little bit later on, we sat down at an enormous table so that they could serve us the food. Around our table were a dozen more round tables. All of them were perfectly decorated with orange flowers, all of them in large stems decorated by green leaves, my green. I smiled as I remembered that those were our colors.

Peeta did not let go of my hand until the food arrived, an extravagance of various exquisite plates, foods typical of each district and some from the Capitol, such as that exquisite lamb stew with raisin plums. The bread had been baked this morning in _our_ bakery, and there were buns from different districts too. It was something that we owed our friends, like a tribute to those who had died in the arena.

I ate in silence, listening to the background of murmured conversations. Today, all of them forgot about the pain of what was lost; everyone was happy. And strangely enough, I enjoyed that too, knowing that people felt happy thanks to me filled me with pride. I felt that one day I would be able to be a very happy woman, without remorse, without nightmares, without bitter memories.

“What’s on your mind, love?” Peeta whispered in my ear, and I jumped a little in surprise.

“People’s happiness. _My_ happiness.” He took my hand.

“And? Are you happy?”

“In this moment I am; I feel happy seeing them smile.” I looked around the garden and then looked back at him, “Seeing _you_ happy…”

“I feel happy seeing you like this too, smiling without holding back.” He kissed my hand.

“Well, it’s what you have done to me.” His smile widened. I knew that he was going to reply, but I shushed him with a soft kiss. He then got up from the chair and took my hand.

“Should we open up the dance floor?” His eyes and smile shined too brightly for me to turn him down.

“I don’t know how to dance.” But even then I took his hand and stood up.

“You just have to follow my step, it’ll be easy.”

“I doubt that, Peeta…it won’t be easy.”

“We’ll see about that…”

The musicians that were in one corner of the garden began playing almost at the same time that we entered the dance floor. People came closer to look and that made me even more nervous; I didn’t want to make a fool of myself in front of so many people. I didn’t want to ruin the party for Peeta, this was important to him, and I wanted everything to be perfect for him.

“Ready?”

“No,” I said sincerely with a smile.

“Everything will be fine, trust me, Katniss.” He began to sway gently and I followed his rhythm slowly. Little by little his feet began to move from the floor, and mine followed his clumsily.

“Where did you learn how to dance?”

“Every year my parents and I went to the end of the year dance. When I turned thirteen, I asked my father to teach me how to dance just in case you went someday.”

“You do know that living in the Seam would have made that impossible for me, right?”

“I was in love and I was a child; I didn’t lose hope.”

I blushed furiously at that comment. “You would have had to invite me to the dance.” I rested my head on his shoulder; surprisingly enough, we were moving fluently through the dance floor.

“You would have turned me down.”

“Maybe not. I owed you, remember?”

“I’m glad I didn’t; if we had been friends, or something more, your first Games would have been more difficult; I know you were acting for the cameras,” he murmured.

“They were horrible, Peeta,” I looked into his eyes as I tried to explain myself, “not because of the deaths,” I paused, “but because my district partner was the boy who saved my life as well as my sister’s. And then the kisses in the cave, you know I wasn’t always pretending. Not wanting to lose you wasn’t an act. I needed you by my side.” Perhaps in that moment when I still didn’t know that I wasn’t in love with him, my need to hold him was more for my own benefit than for his. But now I was sure that my love for him had been sealed in that cave while he fought for his life.

“You fell in love with me in the cave, right?”

“I think so…or perhaps when you confessed your love for me in front of all of Panem, I started seeing you differently. I don’t know. Understanding my feelings was and is complicated. I think the important thing now is that I’m your wife and I love you, no? I smiled, looking at his lips.

“And that I love you…”

“You will be with me forever,” I was only a few inches from his lips now.

“Forever,” he whispered.

The conversation ended with a chaste kiss, and we continued moving on the floor for a few minutes, dancing with my body pressed close to Peeta’s wasn’t so bad. From the corner of my eye, I caught something that left me astonished: Gale dancing, or more accurately, Gale dancing with Johanna. They were smiling at each other like two people in love. Oh god, what if this was the case? Gale and Johanna? That was like putting a flame to a match. It could cause a great explosion. Even though the age difference seemed important, in my opinion that was the least of it. If two people wanted to share something together, what did age matter? Hopefully Gale would find that fire he sought for in Johanna and that she had found someone to fight for. They made a nice couple: handsome, tall, strong, outspoken fighters.  I definitely liked this pairing. I smiled at Gale, who returned the smile before whispering something in Johanna’s ear, who also glanced at me; her eyes were shining in a strange way, a strange glow of complicity and perhaps happiness. It was strange. I had always believed that they couldn’t stand each other…and now they were dancing together. Maybe my enamored mind was getting ahead of itself, but I desperately wanted to see them happy.

The song ended and Gale left Johanna, whispering something in her ear again, and then approached us. I had never seen Gale with a tux on, and even though he had taken off his jacket because of the heat, the two unbuttoned holes at the top of his shirt gave him the air of attractiveness and sexiness that he had always carried, that air of knowing that he was handsome, like he used to do at school. I smiled as I remembered how girls would swoon over him and the curses I would receive for being by his side.

“Will you give me this dance, Catnip?” As he formed the question, he looked first at me but then turned to look at Peeta. The latter wouldn’t stop smiling. I threw my hand at Gale, a gesture to make him understand that he wouldn’t mind, or at least not enough to kill him with envy.

“Of course,” I smiled as I placed my other hand on Gale’s and letting go of Peeta’s, who smiled at me.

Gale went with me to the center of the dance floor and as soon as the music began, he began to sway and move on the floor, a little unsteadier than Peeta. But I let go, and even though I didn’t rest my head on his shoulder like I did with Peeta; I approached him as much as I could. I liked feeling him close to me, even if it was an improper moment for us. If three years ago they had told me that I would end up dancing with Gale at my own wedding, I would have laughed in their faces. Me, who was never going to fall in love, never going to share my life with someone else…, I was here dressed as a bride, happy and in love.

“You know how to dance,” I tried to break the silence.

“Yes, I wanted to dance at your wedding, so I took a few classes, but I’m not as good as your husband.”

“Don’t say it like that,” I snapped, losing my temper.

“I meant the dancing, Katniss…everything’s fine; we’ve solved that problem, no?”

“I suppose,” I shrugged. “You were dancing with Johanna.” I couldn’t help but grin.

“Yeah, so?” he retorted, looking away.

“She’s a fun and beautiful woman.”

“And arrogant and conceited.”

“I wonder who she reminds me of…” I looked at him fixedly; they had a very similar temper.

“I’m not like that, Catnip.”

“No, sometimes you’re even worse,” I laughed.

“Damn you…”

“Gale, if you like Johanna, and I think that’s the case, go for it, she could be that fire you’re seeking.”

“Katniss Everdeen, giving love advice?”

“Peeta has taught me a lot. And by the way, I’m Katniss Mellark now.” I showed him the ring that was perfectly placed on my finger, smiling.

“Very well Mrs. Mellark,” he grinned widely, but then he erased it, unsure, looking over my shoulder.

“What?” I tried to turn around to see what had made him change his expression, but he impeded it with his body.

“Delly’s trying to steal your husband, Catnip.”

* * *

**_Teaser:_ **

_Peeta nibbled on my neck, ripping millions of embarrassing pants and moans from my throat. His hands were playing with the elastic waistband of my panties, as if they were unsure if to continue or not. And the wait did nothing but increase the throbbing in my crotch. I raised my hips a little, trying to find some friction against Peeta’s body, and when I attained it I noticed that even beneath Peeta’s clothes, he was as hot and ready as I was. We both moaned against the slight contact and Peeta’s kisses turned rough and voracious; he was starting to lose his gentleman soul._

Love you guys!

**Fire Kisses!**

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- Uh, Delly attacks again! She’s trying to get it until the last chapter! Haha! This is coming to an end; we just have another chapter and then the epilogue…thanks again to everyone!  
> T/N- Yay, we’re almost to the end! I know, I know, it takes me forever to update, but just think about the fact that you won’t have to put up with my slow updates for this story again lol. As always, thanks to everyone for sticking with me, and to Court81981 for finding the things that were lost in translation. ILY! Y’all feel free to message me on tumblr: peetahutcherpeen.


	38. Chapter 38

When I turned to prove with my own eyes what Gale had told me, my heart nearly stopped at the sight. Delly was completely pressed against a courteous Peeta, who was much too polite to admit to her how uncomfortable he was, something that I could tell by the way his jaw tensed and his eyes flickered all around the garden. I turned to Gale again, this time with a smile on my face. My boy with the bread was proving how little he was interested in the beautiful Delly. And that filled my heart in such a way that it seemed as if it were about to explode with love.

"I think I need to go save him," I whispered without my smile faltering.

"Am I going to witness a cat fight?"

"No." I laughed. "Unless she confronts me, I'm not going to say anything out of line. Deep down, I feel sorry for her for being in love with him."

"Why do you feel sorry for her?"

"She will never be able to be with him because Peeta loves me."

"That's true…it's a pity for her."

"I'm sure that Delly will find someone almost as good as Peeta; she is a beautiful girl and a wonderful person."

"Perhaps she doesn't want anyone else." His eyes penetrated mine so deeply that it scared me.

"Are you saying that from experience? What about Johanna?"

"There was only a dance between Johanna and me."

"And a few glances and whispers in your ear…" I saw Gale blush deeply, proving that what I was saying was true and that there was something between them. "I better go with my husband," I murmured when he didn't reply. "I'll see you later." I kissed his cheek and left him.

I approached Peeta and Delly from behind. My intention was not to scare her, but when I coughed, she jumped and let go of Peeta almost immediately. I had to stifle a giggle when she looked at me with a look of terror, pale as a ghost.

"Kat…Kat…Katniss…" she stuttered weakly.

"Hello, Delly, thank you for coming."

"No problem, Katniss… everything looks gorgeous…and you look wonderful…" Peeta took my hand in that moment, perhaps to save himself from Delly's clutches.

"It is indeed, but I can't take credit for it; it's all thanks to the people who worked on it, I had no idea…"

"Even so, congratulations, to both of you." She smiled nervously. "I'll leave you two to dance; it's what newlyweds should do."

She walked away quickly without waiting for us to respond. I looked into Peeta's eyes, still grinning. Seeing Delly nervous because of me had been even more enjoyable than it was proper to admit. As much as it pitied me, I wasn't going to allow her to get any closer to Peeta than necessary. And I was even less included to let her near him given how uncomfortable it made my boy with the bread. Besides, it was Peeta's turn to have fun now.

"Don't you have anything to say to me, Peeta?" I kept on grinning, but he frowned and looked away, as nervous as Delly. This alarmed me a bit.

"She was the one who approached me… she wanted to dance…I said yes…" he stammered like a little boy.

"I was just hoping for a 'thanks for saving me from her clutches,'" I murmured into his ear to then deposit a kiss on his cheek.

"I didn't think that was necessary." I noticed a small blush on his cheeks even though he kissed me to hide it. "Should we keep dancing?" He didn't even wait for me to nod before he took me by the waist and began moving to the beat of the music.

We could have been dancing for hours, and even though my feet were completely sore, I felt so blissful that it didn't matter. Being in Peeta's arms in any way was something that was truly magical to me. But he wasn't the only person whom I danced with. Haymitch came up to us a little while later and asked me to dance. He wasn't completely sober; his breath smelled heavily of alcohol. I guess that that's what had given him the extra courage to ask me to dance. Unfortunately our dance didn't last long, nor did his paternal discourse. He tripped over his own feet, falling to the floor in the middle of the dance floor. It left us a memory of that day that would make a humorous anecdote. Strangely enough, I also danced with Johanna, who kept quiet about her dance with my friend Gale. The intrigue and curiosity were killing me; I wanted to know what was going on between them. But I didn't want to be indiscreet, and I accepted all of her comments (all of them inappropriate) about Peeta. I also reluctantly accepted her advice for my wedding night, but fortunately for me I didn't need any advice; I myself knew how to act and how I wanted the night to go.

When it became dark, the people slowly began to disappear and only a few of them said good-bye, perhaps because they were too drunk or they simply didn't want to bother us; but soon it was just me, Peeta, and a few close friends left in the garden. Annie's baby slept soundly on her lap while she rocked him in front of Peeta's yearning gaze. Oh god, not again, I didn't want to have this conversation… the words 'baby' and 'Katniss' were not compatible. No, no, no. I couldn't bring a little person into the world to suffer, as much as Peeta may wish for it, as much as he may beg for it. I couldn't. I shouldn't. I shouldn't be a mother.

A soft cough from Haymitch shook us all out of our thoughts. And as if he himself had ordered it, we all left our seats, getting up to finally say our good-byes. And yes, at last I could say that I could enjoy my boy with the bread now that I had him to myself. Each one of our friends gave us a kiss, some colder than others. Gale's and Johanna's hugs contrasted enormously with the half-hearted and hurried kiss that my mother left on my cheek. She even lingered more on Peeta. I sighed without being able to help it. Her attitude hurt me. I knew that our relationship was nearly as dead as our family. She was the last one to leave, and that same night she returned to her district. She was leaving me for sure. Perhaps if Prim was still alive our relationship would have improved, as it did when we lived in Thirteen, but everything was different now. She was getting away from me again. Fortunately I had him; I had Peeta.

When we crossed the doorway, Peeta closed it behind him and hugged me again. He dug his nose into my hair and I felt how he inhaled it. I smiled, trying to move aside painful memories of my mother, and turned my face to seek his mouth and place my lips on his. He tasted like strawberry cake and nuts. He tasted like sugar. He was mine. I smiled as his tongue came out to skim over my lips, and I allowed it to play with mine as it entered my mouth.

His hands were on my hips, caressing them and squeezing the lace of my dress, wrinkling it, but it didn't matter. I spun around to stand in front of him and the crash of his lips against mine was both devastating and ardent. He made me moan with just that gesture, as if it had been years since his hands and lips had touched my body when it had actually only been a few hours. His lips lowered to my neck until they reached my clavicle. He nibbled and licked it, making my lungs seek more air, panting. He pulled away for a few seconds, and with a playful smile he picked me up bridal-style, lifting my feet from the ground.

I instantly screeched in surprise, but far from letting me go, he simply ascended the stairs laughing. He didn't stop until we reached our bedroom and he gently lay me down on the bed.

"Alone at last," he whispered as he watched me lying still on the bed.

"Alone at last," I repeated, leaning back and trying to look at least a little seductive.

He kneeled on the bed, crawling towards me while he slipped off his suit jacket. He then managed to place himself in between my knees, which I spread brazenly, making the dress bunch up to my waist. Peeta drew a mischievous smile on his face before attacking my neck. He kissed, bit, and licked it torturously as his hands tried to find the dress' zipper on the back. I smiled as I noticed how each time he became more and more frustrated because his hands couldn't reach it.

"Peeta…" I couldn't help the small giggle that came out of my mouth. "The zipper is on the side…the left one."

"Shit," he cursed, panting, "I want to see what you wore underneath today."

"I knew you liked that extravagant lingerie."

He found the zipper and lowered it to my waist, caressing me while he did this, making me moan. "I like what you have underneath that even more: your naked, soft skin. " He placed his lips over mine and kissed me with fury, as if he needed me to live.

"So would you prefer me going without anything underneath?" I whispered, panting, aroused by the kiss.

"I think so, yes."

I stifled a giggle behind my lips before he explored them with his tongue. "You are a pervert, Peeta Mellark."

"No…I just like you too much, Katniss Eve….Mellark…"

This time it was me who ravaged his mouth. I nibbled and licked every curve of his lips so that I could then meld my tongue against his, stroking it and savoring it. My hands flew towards the buttons on his crisp white shirt. I began unbuttoning it slowly, lingering on every inch of Peeta's chest that I revealed. And even though the anxiety of wanting to feel him increased more and more each time, we had all the time in the world to be together. There was no reason to hurry.

But Peeta didn't seem to agree with this, as I hadn't even reached the fourth button before he grew impatient and he ripped off the rest of the shirt himself, discarding it instantly before he returned to my lips, reclaiming them as his. I stroked his strong torso, lingering on each of his muscles then ran my hands from his arms to his wrists, which I guided so that his hands would take the sides of my dress. He removed it in between kisses, leaving me in my undergarments.

I smiled in satisfaction as I watched how Peeta's eyes darkened even more by seeing me like this. The white lace clothing contrasted perfectly with the tan of my skin; it was something that even I could see, and I knew perfectly well that it brought more attention to my bare skin, giving me a suggestive touch. It was the kind of touch that I sought for so that I could please the man who was currently leaving a plethora of kisses all over my neck.

Peeta nibbled on my neck, ripping millions of embarrassing pants and moans from my throat. His hands were playing with the elastic waistband of my panties, as if they were unsure if to continue or not. And the wait did nothing but increase the throbbing in my crotch. I raised my hips a little, trying to find some friction against Peeta's body, and when I attained it I noticed that even beneath Peeta's clothes, he was as hot and ready as I was. We both moaned at the slight contact and Peeta's kisses turned rough and voracious; he was starting to lose his gentlemanly soul.

Losing the little amount of embarrassment that I still felt in situations such this, I took Peeta by the waist and made him lay in between my legs, feeling him completely pressed against my body through the clothes that were separating us. I wrapped my legs around him and rubbed my hips against his. I smiled as I watched how my boy with the bread rolled his eyes back and moaned, then lavished my neck with his tongue. But he didn't stop there this time. He descended, much too slowly, towards my cleavage and my breasts, which stopped being covered by my bra after a single tug. Apparently Peeta had turned into an expert, ridding me of that garment. His tongue passed over the rosiest and hardest parts of my breasts, making millions of electrical charges gather in my intimacy, which was embarrassingly drenching the only piece of cloth that covered it.

When Peeta's teeth trapped one of nipples, I tensed my hips again and arched my back, drowning the moan in my own throat. Peeta took that opportunity to discard his pants with one tug, my breast still in his mouth. Seeing Peeta in only that thin piece of cotton excited me even more; it alerted each and every cell in my body. The tight black cloth contrasted perfectly with the whiteness of his skin, and it made that hardness of his protrude; it was screaming for release. I bit my lip in attempt to contain myself and enjoy the feeling of Peeta's lips, but I couldn't. My right hand interceded between us and stroked his entire manhood over his underwear. Hearing him moan was music to my ears; I didn't need anything else. I tightened my grip on his hardness, rolling my hand around it while his teeth worked over my breast, stealing a cry of pleasure from me.

I began stroking him slowly, but soon the cloth became a hindrance and I slipped my hand inside it, touching his entire length directly. Hard and ready. They were the only two words I could come up with in that moment to define him. My hand stroked him faster and faster each time as my boy with the bread made my panties descend down my legs. I only allowed him to pull away long enough for him to end up naked too.

I couldn't help but contemplate him for a few seconds. Strong, muscular, aroused, and mine. The blue in his eyes was reduced due to his arousal. It embarrassed me to think that my eyes were in the same state, but my embarrassment was nearly forgotten when Peeta pressed his body against mine again, and now I could feel him fully, which made me moan even higher and gyrate my hips instinctively, provoking a pleasurable frottage.

"Katniss wait, the pill..."

I froze, frightened. I had forgotten about it; I had been so sucked in by the pleasurable touches that Peeta was giving me that I hadn't even thought about the pink pill. I nodded, panting, and he took it out of the drawer himself before placing it on my tongue. I swallowed it in shock.

Peeta kissed my lips sweetly as he lost himself in my interior. Feeling how he invaded me woke me up from the slight lethargy I was in and I cried out, drowning in pleasure. He emerged and entered again, making me scream again. His movements were slow yet deliberately strong. He thrust into me with a mix of roughness and romanticism that was his own. Rough with love. It was hard to explain, but that combination made the fire inside me increase significantly. His thrusts increased in velocity, as did his moans and mine. Our breathless moans and cries mixed in an atmosphere that made the fire and electricity in my body increase violently. It was too fast, too soon.

My body was in flames; it burned, and hearing Peeta's moans only made that fire fuel so that my abdomen sought relief. I shifted my hips with that goal in mind, making Peeta's thrusts become harder, if that was even possible. I understood that he liked that, so I kept shifting them even though the position wasn't the most ideal for me. But as if Peeta had been reading my thoughts, he grabbed me by the waist and made us roll over, leaving me on top of him. I bit his bottom lip as my hips began moving in time with his. When he descended, I rose. Our panting increased, my strangled moans seeking to quench the fire within me. But the fire did not go out. When I felt Peeta's heat inside of me, my own fire exploded, running through every fiber in my body. I cried out and Peeta dug his fingers in my hips.

He sought my mouth and kissed me more calmly, recovering his breath. Peeta hugged me and kept covering my face with kisses, still panting and mixing his breath with mine, our moans now nearly nonexistent.

I smiled, stroking his hair. I couldn't imagine my life without him. I needed him more than I needed to eat or drink, more than I needed to breathe. I kissed the perfection of his lips and then, just as he had done, I kissed every inch of his face. I placed the last kiss on his nose. His perfect nose.

"I love you, Peeta," I whispered.

"I love you, Katniss."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N-I dearly hope that you enjoyed this fic. The only thing left is the epilogue, and then it's over. Thank you to everyone for being here, to everyone who read this and especially those of you left a review. Thank you so much for trusting me.
> 
> T/N- So first of all let me apologize for being such a crappy updater (worse than usual!) but I'm working on this story for the "Fifteen Days to Finish Your Fic" challenge on tumblr, if nothing else, since I've been translating this story for nearly a year. Let's hope I can finish it before then! Thank you for not giving up on me. Thanks especially to Court81981 for finding everything that was lost in translation. You are the absolute best!
> 
> Love you guys!
> 
> Fire Kisses!


	39. Epilogue

I can't see anything; it's too dark. I am surrounded by walls, and I think that I'm at my house, my old house at the Seam. What am I doing here? Why am I not at Victor's Village? Suddenly, I hear a sob. It's a child. A small child.

"Prim!"

It can't be anyone else; no child lives here- just her, just my little sister that I need to protect.

"Prim!"

The baby's cry intensifies. I run in the dark, getting closer. It's nearby. No. Now it sounds like it's coming from the other side of the hallway. How? I turn around, and I run again. The anxiety centers in my stomach. It hurts; it hurts a lot. I want to reach Prim, but it seems as if the crying changes from one direction to another. I run and run, but when I get close it stops crying and then starts again from the direction I just came from. Why?

"Prim?"

I finally see a light. There is light coming from the bottom of a door, and the crying resumes there, intensifying. They're hurting her. It's a cry of pain.

"No! No! Prim! Prim!"

The door won't open, but I know that she's in there. Prim cries hard, really hard, even though her crying sounds different. They're not Prim's sobs. Prim can't be the one who's crying. Prim is dead. I know that; I saw it when she burst into flames. A baby is crying. It's a baby's wail.

"No! No! OPEN!"

The door finally opens, but the light blinds me. It's brighter than the sun, much brighter. It reflects on the white walls, on the crib with white bars. What bedroom is this? It smells awful. I become nauseous. Blood. That's what it is. Dried blood…and oh no! Blood and roses. The sweet smell of roses mixes with the metallic scent of blood.

I need to throw up. But then I see it. Right beside the window from which all the light is coming from. I can't see the face, but I know who it is. I squint my eyes and focus. Snow…I thought him dead.

He's holding something that's crying in his arms. The baby! Snow has the baby that's crying and wailing so loudly. He's hurting it.

"NO! NO!"

The emptiness inside me intensifies as I see the child. I recognize the crying, those wails that wake me up each night. They only demand for me.

"NO! NO! MY BABY!"

Now I understand. Snow has my baby. But why?

"You're hurting it!"

The baby cries, and I stay frozen. Where did that arrow come from? Snow lifts an arrow with his right hand. He looks at me smiling, with that serpentine tongue peeking out from his teeth. He laughs and makes it descend hard against the baby's chest, which stops crying.

"NOO! NOO!"

I woke up in Peeta's arms as my hands instantly headed down towards my belly. I cried and moaned embarrassingly. But I didn't care. It was still there. My child was still in there, protected inside my swollen belly. I caressed it over my clothes, reminding myself that it had only been a nightmare. I let Peeta cradle me in his arms.

Ever since I became pregnant, the nightmares happened every week, but now, with only a little bit of time left until I gave birth, those nightmares intensified violently. And the result was practically the same. The little person that grew inside me died in the hands of someone, usually Snow.

Many years had to pass before I accepted giving him a family. Too many years, according to him. But almost as if Peeta's pleas had been heard; two days after agreeing to have a family I discovered that I was pregnant. I had gotten pregnant by accident. A fortuitous accident. An accident that now brought me emotions that were more intense than anything I had ever felt before.

Being pregnant was terribly frightening. Knowing that there was something inside of you that needs you to protect it, that you need to care for and that is subject to all of your actions, was scary. It's scary when you first see that your stomach is no longer flat. It's scary when you first feel it move, and the first time that it stops doing so. It's scary if it's restless, of if it's too still. It's scary to worry whether it's comfortable, or if you move too much, or if you move too little. It's scary hurting it.

But as frightened as I may be, I love it, and my life has been reduced to the baby's well-being and Peeta's to mine. I know that he's having a hard time too. I just hope that he doesn't regret it, because even though I'm scared that something may happen to our baby, I love it. I love this child even more than I love my own life. I would give anything for it. And that's why in my eight and a half months of pregnancy, I haven't stepped into the forest. I miss hunting. But I know that the life I carry inside me is more important.

I sat up slowly and looked into Peeta's eyes, begging him for forgiveness. It was the seventh night in a row that I woke up screaming. I love this man, who seems not to care about his lack of sleep. He kisses me and holds me again.

"I'm sorry…"

"Shh," he silenced me with his lips over mine. "Soon the nightmares will be over."

"What if they're not? You know that I have nightmares; they could accompany us all of our lives…"

"They won't. If they disappeared once, they'll do it again. You heard the doctor, it's very common for pregnant women to have strange dreams."

"They're not just strange…"

My voice was only a whisper. But I didn't feel like arguing what the doctor had said. I only knew that the nightmares had begun when I found out that I was going to be a mother and they still hadn't gone away. Perhaps I should learn to live with them. I should stop screaming. Peeta never screams when he has nightmares; he had said so himself, and perhaps I could learn how to do that too. I fell into a deep sleep again without even noticing.

But the sleep lasted little. A strong pressure in my abdomen woke me up. As I looked out the window, I saw that it nearly morning. The first birds of spring sang on the garden's trees and in between the primroses. I turned to watch Peeta sleep. I couldn't help but smile. Sleeping made him like the teenager I had fallen in love with. His long golden eyelashes curled up, tangling into one another, his forehead relaxed and that good-dream smile made him almost look like a child, even though it had been a long time since we had been that.

I had to hold back a painful moan as I felt that strong pressure in my stomach again. It was the second time I felt it, and this time with more force now that I was awake. And it hurt. It hurt a lot. This could only mean one thing. Our baby didn't want to wait any longer inside me and wanted to be born now.

I closed my eyes tightly, waiting for the pain to pass, and when I felt my belly relax, I caressed Peeta's face lovingly; I didn't want to scare him, since this could take hours.

"Peeta…" I whispered, ghosting my fingertips over his lips. "Wake up…"

"Hmm?"

"You need to open your eyes and call the doctor. "I kissed his lips when his eyes immediately flew open. "You're going to be a father now."

"What? Did your water break? Is it coming?" He blurted everything out so fast that I barely understood him.

"Yes, it's coming." I wasn't able to say more, because a new wave of pain ran through my belly.

Peeta jumped out of bed and ran towards the living room; I could hear him stumbling over a couple chairs before he reached the phone. Soon afterwards I heard him murmuring something again and then I heard his rapid steps return to the bedroom.

"The doctor is on his way."

I simply nodded, since a new contraction attacked me completely. The intensity increased with the passing minutes. This made me cry out helplessly. In that moment I cursed myself for accepting Peeta's pleas. Not only did I have to put up with the changes in my body, and in my mood, plus the preoccupation of protecting and taking care of the child I had inside me, but now I also had to bear this pain. Even though deep inside I knew that it was worth it. We would have our baby with us, precious, pink, and hopefully resembling its father.

My thoughts were interrupted with another punch in my lower stomach as I noticed how something hot leaked out of me; my water had just broken. By the time the doctor arrived, the contractions were so intense that I couldn't help the despairing cries that escaped from my mouth as I squeezed Peeta's hand tightly.

As the hours passed, I screamed and cried in pain. The fear was able to invade me for a few minutes as I realized that my life was changing in that moment, but luckily it only lasted that long, a few minutes. I loved this child and I wished to see its sweet face. The worst part of giving birth was without a doubt the effort that I had to make so that my baby could come out.

When I felt it abandon me, my emotions mixed together. My happiness mixed with the emptiness, but it lasted little. Only until I heard that cry, my baby's cry. Peeta's and mine. The little person who completed our family.

I didn't even remember that I had my eyes closed when I felt that slight weight on my chest. I opened them and there it was, looking at me. The smallest person in the world looked at me while lying on my chest; its blue eyes bathed in tears, its skin tone was rosy, and its head was covered in black hair. And I couldn't help but imitate it and burst into tears, crying of happiness as I saw my child. It was perfect. Half fire and half bread.

"It's our girl, Katniss…our baby girl."

The emotion in Peeta's voice was palpable as well. I looked up at his blue eyes, and sure enough, just like our daughter's and mine, they were drenched in tears. He sought my mouth and gave me a tender kiss. It was so tender that I thought I was in heaven. That moment could not have been more perfect.

His lips descended down my neck but then landed on the head of the little girl resting over my chest. I smiled at his paternal gesture.

"I love you both…more than anything else."

"I know, Peeta…I …we…love you too." I closed my eyes, starting to feel extremely tired.

"Have you decided on a name for her?" I opened my eyes and looked at my little one, who now slept soundly, unaware of everything that surrounded her.

"Maybe…I might have one…but you probably won't like it."

"Anything that you choose I will like."

"Peeta…it doesn't have to be that way."

"It is, though…it's always that way."

"Dandelion." I mumbled.

It was the only name I could think of that meant so much to us, our own little dandelion. Peeta kissed me, smiling. I supposed that he was fine with naming our little girl that. We were a unique family. My family. My life. We had managed to overpass the fears and insecurities, and even though my nightmares went on, perhaps after seeing my daughter's face, they would disappear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- It's over; I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Thank you to everyone for reading and reviewing. This fic was completely dedicated to Nina D'e Mellark for being and incredible support system to me.
> 
> T/N-Okay well, that was the shortened version of the Author's note; I usually summarized them because there were things in there that were meant for the Spanish readers. But this note is for your guys! Since I took so long in updating, I figured I could give you a double update. I hope I did this story justice. Thank you so much for all of your patience. It's been an amazing experience and a great year. Thank you for not giving up on me and following this story to the end. As always, thank you so much to Court81981 for being an amazing beta and picking up this story basically halfway through. It certainly wouldn't be as coherent without her. Feel free to contact me on tumblr: peetahutcherpeen.


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